Mother’s Day: A Letter to Mum

Posted on March 13, 2012 by Guest Author — No Comments ↓

As we round the corner to another Mother’s Day I am forced to examine the meaning of that holiday for me. You see this will be the second Mother’s day I will spend without a mother. Three years ago my Mom was in the throws of ALS on Mother’s day. She was predominantly paralyzed and couldn’t speak. She was confined to a motorized wheel chair and living in a nursing home. Talk about a quandary in regards to a gift! Sure I did the flower thing to liven up her room. Food and books were out as she couldn’t swallow and couldn’t hold a book nor see the writing. I had tried previously to get her books on CD, but alas when the CD ended she was stuck waiting for someone to come by to change the CD and that was only if she was able to communicate her wishes effectively.

Just as I was on the verge of crying out in frustration over the gift, the universe reminded me of my ability to write. I stayed up past 3 am one night writing a letter to my Mom as her gift for Mother’s day. The letter was very long and it included my top 100 memories from my childhood. It also included all of the things I NEEDED to say to her before she died. I needed to tell her that I forgave her for the times she yelled at me or hit me out of frustration. I needed to tell her that I knew she did the best that she could with the abilities she had. I needed to remind her that I turned out just fine despite my rocky teenage years, for which she blamed herself. I needed to say, “I love you and will always remember the good times, even after you’re gone.” I needed to tell her that I’d be alright after her death.

This was obviously a very difficult letter to write, but it was also a joyous exercise remembering all the little things from my childhood. It was cathartic to make sure I said my peace before she met hers.

I wasn’t there when my Mom’s best friend read her the letter. I don’t know how she felt as she couldn’t show emotion at this point in her disease. All I know is I said what I needed to say and she heard it before she died.

Since writing the letter, several of my friends have taken my idea and done the same for their mothers. Their mother’s weren’t terminally ill. My friends just wanted to take the opportunity to record their love for their mom. I can share with you that every mother that received one of these letters found it to be the BEST Mother’s Day present they ever received. As a mother myself, I can’t think of a gift that could top it.

So, the moral of the story is: utilize Mother’s Day as a way to show your love for your mom. Tell her; write her; show her that she did the best she could. My Mom was far from perfect. We had a very rocky relationship and my home was no Cleaver household growing up. Despite these bumps, I am so thankful that I took the opportunity to be kind and loving to my mom before she died. I have no regrets. I said what I wanted and expressed my gratitude for the life that I have.

Happy Mother’s Day to all of the moms reading this!!

Dana Johnson is a spunky mother of two trying to figure it all out. Running her own business, volunteering at school, trying to keep the family unit clean and fed, and finding time for her are just some of the challenges Dana faces. Like most moms she is tired, underappreciated and overworked. But in her truly unique style, Dana is the first to laugh at the mishaps of life and loves to write about the humorous side of Mom-dom.

A native cheese-head, whose passions include mt. biking, whitewater kayaking, cross-country skiing, reading and writing, Dana has performed some stand-up comedy and storytelling in the Milwaukee area and hopes to one day find the time to write a book. She currently resides in Waukesha with her husband Charlie and her two little boys and runs her own company, http://www.openleafexcursions.com. She also moderates a community forum on which people can share and discover places in the outdoors. http://www.adventuregroove.com

When is Mother’s Day - see here.

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