If you deal directly with people in your line of work, you definitely need to have confidence. It is much easier to understand why in some roles than in others. If you are a sales-person, for example, you will definitely close more deals if you have an abundance of confidence. In other roles, the relationship between confidence and success is much more subtle.
But, there is no question about it, confidence is an absolute must for succeeding in almost any walk of life. So, today I wanted to discuss the six Cs of Confidence. I got the list from Sam Horn’s book What’s Holding You Back? If you want to become more confident person, these are the six things you need to work on.
Communications Skills
Sometimes in my customer service workshops, I will ask people to list the eight most important skills for supporting people effectively. Nearly always, someone will put communications skills on the list. Of course, it is a big category in its own right. You could break it down into listening skills, speaking skills, body language and so on. Listening skills are vital for success in many roles, but being able to hold good eye-contact and being able to make your point in a clear and concise fashion is very important too.
Concept
In order to be confident, you may just have to change the way you view yourself. How do you think about yourself? For example, do you think of yourself as a confident person; do you see yourself as a positive person; do you think of yourself as a capable person? If you do, then the chances are that other people will see you as confident because confidence is, to a large extent, the natural out-flowing of your self-image. If you need to change the way you view yourself, an excellent method is by using positive affirmations.
Competence
Mastery of a subject is something that many people strive to achieve and indeed, the satisfaction and pleasure that can be derived from becoming the best in your chosen field is enough for many people to believe that their lives have sufficient meaning and purpose. When you are an expert, it shows, and confidence follows quite naturally. We all have some natural talent – even those who think otherwise. So find out what you are good at because, whatever that is, it represents your opportunity to become the best.
Contribution
Do you feel that you are making a difference? Personally, I think that we are all here to do exactly that: to make a difference or “to leave a legacy” as Stephen Covey puts it. When you feel as if what you are doing is truly worthwhile, then it makes all the difference to your life and your view of yourself. Self-confidence is again a natural consequence. A difficulty for many people is that they may not have figured out exactly what they are here to do. If that’s you, then take a look at my book The Deepest Desire of Your Heart.
Control
Are you living the life you want to live? Do you love what you are doing? Are the choices you have made about your life really your own or have you allowed other people, or circumstances, to dictate what you are doing, where you are living, what you are earning and so on. Life is all about choices and consequences. That really is the whole game. We have an abundance of opportunity and a myriad choices to make, but only the right choices lead to the life you really want. If you got the wrong life, well, you simply made the wrong choices. When you get proper control, you begin to make the right ones and then everything changes including your confidence, of course.
Courage
When we act with courage, we are perceived as having confidence. Courageous people have fears but they choose to act in spite of them. You may remember the book Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway. It was all about understanding that successful people don’t enjoy the absence of fear. Instead, they have effectively made it their friend. They know that success often involves moving out of the comfort zone and that act is generally accompanied by this emotion. So learn to be comfortable with the feeling of fear or anxiety when it is present. It is just your internal programming and it need not dictate your behaviour.
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Thanks you Connie. I agree with your comments too: do what you can, where you can and then see what happens.
Will
Great article, Will!
Too often, when we’re faced with a daunting or challenging task, we throw our hands up in the air and state, ‘I don’t know what to do.’
The reality is, if we just continue doing the next best thing, the rest of the path will reveal itself to us.
And, if it turns out that our decision or choice wasn’t the ‘next best thing’ we can pick-up the pieces and make another decision. It’s all good…
Either way, we’re one step closer, aren’t we?
Connie