This is Part 2 of an article entitled 14 Excellent Reasons Why You Are Not Living a Happy and Peaceful Life by Zdravko Lukovsk. You can read Part 1 Here.
You’re Afraid to Break Free from your Comfort Zone
There is only one thing that never changes…and that is… CHANGE itself! Understand that your comfort zone is an illusion. When in a comfort zone, you think that you have peace and that you can be happy but believe me, that’s one big illusion.
The first serious sign of a big problem or obstacle will break this wrong picture that you hold. It is impossible to feel at peace if you constantly hold onto something.
This can be your job, it can be your habitual lifestyle that is not healthy, it can be the habit of drinking alcohol from time to time… there are literally millions of examples. You have to observe yourself and decide what YOUR comfort zone is.
And yes, unfortunately even holding to our loved ones so dearly is not good for us. I am not suggesting that you should let go of them, not under any circumstance, but what I do suggest is that you have to accept that peace and happiness come from the inside and never from the outside.
We cannot depend on peace and happiness only from the people and things outside of us. After all, we’ll all die one day, and whether we like or not, whether we accept it or not, that’s reality and that’s the truth. We have to learn to live with that voice that speaks to us. We also have to learn to control it!
Come on, do me a favor and go on and play “I Want to Break Free” from Queen. Play it and sing it from your heart.
Break free! Let go of your comfort zone and do the things that you love doing! Go after your big dreams, don’t be a fool!
Hey, you know what? …
…Do something that scares you, each and every day. Do it! If you only commit to this single habit, you will literally astound yourself! Your life will be a different story!
You Haven’t Eliminated your Work-Overload
If you’re one of those individuals that take the overtime for the extra dollars, you can afford to stop it. There are much better ways to earn money than trading your time for it.
As a matter of fact, trading time for money is without question the WORST way on earth to earn money!
This can lead do depression, stress and overwhelming, and how can you possibly expect to live in peace like that?
You have to give your mind and body a rest.
If you need more money, then study, expand your mind, step into action and create several multiple streams of income. Passive income is the real secret to great wealth.
The only way to make good money by trading your time for it is being a CEO or a high paid manager which in turn has other disadvantages. So if your vision is not becoming one of those individuals, stop taking the overtime hours!
You Don’t Get Outdoors and You Don’t Exercise Enough
When was the last time you went hiking? Have you lost contact with nature completely?
Here’s few suggestions what you can do: yoga, walking near the beach or park, sailing, dancing, hiking, volunteering, doing something interesting in your yard, visiting orphans and making them feel special, sailing, fishing, going to the zoo and so on…
Pick something that connects you with nature. For example, I really love hiking! I do it every week and it’s simply amazing. I am a new person when I come back home. I have so much fresh energy locked up within me…I just radiate positivity and happiness from me.
You can do the same. Listen to nature’s sounds, feel the wind on your skin, listen to the birds, breathe that fresh air deep in your belly and be grateful for your life!
You Love Watching Soap Operas or Reality TV
If you belong to this group of individuals, I beg you to stop wasting your life! So far, I haven’t seen a single benefit a person has gotten from doing this. Really.
Watching this nonsense is just wasting your life. Not only that, more often than not it fills you with fears and negativity. Gossips, crying, bad language, cheating, I mean what’s good in any of that?
Turn off the TV! Now I am not suggesting to completely cease watching television in your life, but at least make it less frequent.
I don’t watch TV at all, and I feel awesome!
Instead, start educating yourself, read some great books, go out and eat something special, take your partner on a romantic evening…
You Love Perfectionism (The Wrong Way)
While this not necessarily is a bad thing, more often than not it has the exact opposite effect than improving ourselves. Trying to do everything perfectly is setting ourselves up for failure.
It literally stops us from enjoying the moment, it creates a feeling of rush and eventually, we end up not doing much. Instead, we tend to procrastinate. Understand that we as intuitive human beings are not perfect in a logical sense. Our subconscious programs and human emotions are much more complicated than the rational computer machine.
Don’t expect to do everything smoothly according to a predetermined plan. Now, see how I don’t say “don’t plan at all” or “don’t strive for perfection”.
No! You should strive for perfection, but don’t be that much stressed about little details or doing everything perfect.
You Don’t Practice Mindfulness (Even Worse – You Don’t Know What It Is!)
Mindfulness is moment to moment awareness. It’s not only being aware…it is being AWARE that you are aware! The mindful mind is the mind which constantly observes.
It observes the various thoughts and emotions as they come and go. It is forever present “in the moment”. You see, living a mindful life, is living a life of moment to moment awareness and unfoldment.
You can never be bored or annoyed by doing this…Every second you have a mission, a goal which is focusing on your thoughts that live and exist in your inner world. And our mind is like a dancing monkey, it never stops to think, it is a machine without an off-switch!
Your job is to take control over it.
Now I’ll be straightforward upfront here… This is without question – THE HARDEST thing one can achieve in a lifetime. I mean to become completely, fully mindful.
The people who have achieved this like the Buddha for example, are very few, just a handful of individuals.
But nobody is asking that from you! All I’m suggesting is to practice this amazing skill in your life, just for little bit! Just by taking the time and living mindfully for 15min each day, you won’t be able to recognize your “new-self” in a few months.
How to practice it?
Start with simple meditation. Take 15min. each day and sit comfortably in a place where nobody can disturb you. Shut down all outside distractions including cellphones, iPads and laptops.
Take the time and focus on your breathing. Follow mindfully each and every breath. Your mind will go astray very often. Your job is not to become mad and upset because of it! Instead, just observe your thoughts and purposefully bring your attention back to the primary object of focus – your breathing.
Every time the mind starts to think of something else, you observe it, and bring it back to where it was.
As time goes by, increase the amount of time spent on meditation. Also, whenever you catch yourself during the day creating mind movies, stop it, and observe yourself in that particular moment.
Remember, too many positive emotions can be equally harmful as too many negative emotions. This is because we become dependent on outside circumstances. Something good happens, we get excited, something bad happens, self-esteem and confidence plummet down.
You need to find the balance!
There’s a great course on mindfulness called “Practicing Mindfulness: An Introduction to Meditation” from Professor Mark W. Muesse Ph.D, who teaches at the Rhodes College – just a helpful resource you might be interested in.
You Always Take Things Personally
Get this – nothing is really personal! The only way something becomes personal, is if it comes from YOU.
As odd and as strange it may sound, it’s true. For example if your boss yells and criticizes you, it is about him or her, not you. If your sale doesn’t close and you get rejected from a prospect, it’s not about you, it’s about them.
It is all about their perceptions, their attitude, their needs and their expectations, not yours. Understand that!
You can certainly influence their decisions to a certain degree, but please don’t take these things personally. Sometimes things will happen differently to how we expect and think should happen.
Focus on what you have control over – and that’s your attitude comprised of your thoughts and emotions. Do the best you can, and learn to be happy with yourself, the way you truly are.
You Don’t Act On the Things You Have Control Over
You are in full control of your inner world. You have the power to control every single thought and emotion that goes in your mind.
Start deliberately to imprint in your subconscious mind, the kind of thoughts that you choose to have.
Start using affirmations and create new positive beliefs about yourself and the world you live in.
Here’s great one for relaxation and calmness of mind:
“I feel calm and relaxed. With every inhalation I breathe in calmness and with every exhalation – stress, doubt and fear leave my mind and body”
Then take a deep breath and breathe in calmness. Exhale, and let go of all negative emotions.
Repeat this procedure for 5 minutes every time you wake up in the morning, and every time before you go to bed at night.
This Article Ends Here but Your New Journey is Just About to Begin…
Phew, now that was a long article! I’m glad you came to the end.
Happiness and peace cannot be found outside of you. You don’t find happiness or peace, you MAKE happiness and peace. They all exist right now, in the present moment. Your job is to become aware of them.
They are after all, just emotions, and all emotions happen as a result of the thoughts that we think. So start thinking about what makes you feel peaceful and happy.
Practice these tips regularly and commit to living a positive and peaceful lifestyle.
I’ll wrap everything up with one famous definition of happiness by Epicurus:
“Realize that true happiness lies within you. Waste no time and effort searching for peace and contentment and joy in the world outside. Remember that there is no happiness in having or in getting, but only in giving. Reach out. Share. Smile. Hug. Happiness is a perfume you cannot pour on others without getting a few drops on yourself.”
Zdravko Lukovski is an obsessed personal development enthusiast who loves studying and expanding the mind. He is a dedicated student of life who owns several websites including www.EnlightenmentPortal.com/. If you want to read more of his writing, check out these top positive thinking exercises and activities!