Self Fulfilling-Prophecy: Oh the Irony!

Do you have any fears that come up in your life on a regular basis?  Of course you do.  You’re human, and if you had transcended all of your fears, I don’t suppose your inner guidance would have led you to read this post – but who knows?

What I keep seeing lately is how our fears, in such a perfect and ironic way, have this amazing ability to turn into self-fulfilling prophecies.  The major fears that we are hold in our minds, the ones that we think about on a regular basis, have this magical way of causing us to unconsciously manifest the very situation we are trying to avoid, through our misled attempts to avoid them.  In other words, the actions that we are taking, that have been motivated by our fears, may actually be causing the situation we are afraid to happen.

Some Examples of Self-fulfilling Prophecy

For example: the insecure boyfriend feels he is not fully able to make his girlfriend happy and, because of this, flies off the handle any time she talks and socializes with other men.  He looks through her phone-book to find the evidence of her being unfaithful to him.  He doesn’t want her to leave his sight, or go out without him because he fears another man will steal her away from him.  The thing about how he’s acting is that being clingy, jealous, insecure, and needy is very unattractive, and it may be the very thing that will drive his girlfriend away.  The irony being that if he wasn’t worried about it in the first place, these unattractive behaviors would not arise.

Here’s another example: the shy and socially anxious person being worried and afraid that people will not like them; that they may be judged by others; that they do not look or act good enough to be accepted, will oftentimes be overtly quiet in social interactions, keeping many of their great ideas, moral standpoints, humor and charisma inside of them for fear it will not be accepted, though these are might be some of their most likeable qualities.  They may also make poor eye contact, have incongruent body language, or unknowingly be lacking “warmth”; this could confuse others, or even lead them to believe that this person does not like them.

Again, the actions that stem from the fear are actually the ones, creating the very situation that they are supposed to be protecting themselves from.

What is the Point of This?

You may perceive the phenomenon of self-fulfilling prophecies as fate’s way of letting us know that there really is no way of escaping our fear.  Or its gentle way of moving us through the fears we have, even though we’re resisting them with all the mental denial we can muster.

The idea I’d like to propose is that this is a good way to show ourselves that there really is no practical value in being afraid.

The Origins of Fear and How it has Evolved

From a genetic standpoint, we could say that we have evolved with the emotion of fear, as a defense mechanism.  At least in the early days, this fear was a necessary means of survival.  If the primitive caveman had a face to face encounter with an angry, gigantic mastodon without being afraid, he may not be keen enough to run away and escape being ripped apart.  Even now we could imagine if there wasn’t a fear of heights, there would likely be an increase in the statistic of deaths from people tight-roping on the guard rails of tall buildings, and carelessly climbing mountain cliffs and ledges without equipment.

As we evolved as a species, and socialization, relationships, and intellectual ability became more important in our survival-of-the-fittest existence, our fears evolved, too.  Some of these more “sophisticated” fears include the fear of rejection (being rejected by society in earlier days could have literally cost people their lives), the fear of failure, the fear of not being attractive to the opposite sex, the fear of, in general, not being able to do what one needs to do to have what they want in life, etc.

As you can see, fear at least used to be valid, and you can also see that on a very deep level, we believe that our fears are here to protect us.  Our brains are using fear as a defense and safety strategy.  So, what these self-fulfilling prophecies really show us, is that our fears are not necessarily keeping us safe at all – anymore.  They’re actually doing the opposite.

Let it Go!

I have heard many great minds, over the past few years, discussing the possibility that fear and negative emotions are no longer necessary for the survival of a human being.  I would say that I personally agree, due to the creative nature of our consciousness.  This is the thing we may not have had in the past, as an evolving species – a strong creative power through our own focus and self-awareness.

We now know that our emotions, mental states, and imaginings go hand in hand with the reality we experience, and if you change one, you change the other.  Fear creates more fear, and more external “reasons” to be afraid.  Love and happiness create more love and happiness, and more reflections in the external experience of love’s reality.

The belief that our fears really do not help us, even though we are mentally hardwired to think that they do, is just what we need to finally let them go.  If we know that our fears are actually creating the situations we are afraid of, then the worst may have already happened, eh?

Let’s all give some energy and awareness to recognizing our big fears, and to seeing that they are not helping us anymore.  Once we do this, we are in perfect position to let them go!

Article by Ashton

Ashton is passionate about helping people find practical and effective ways for overcoming their inner barriers, reaching that next level of success and self-awareness, and manifesting the life of their dreams. He is a certified life coach, the owner of, and the author of ‘The Complete Change Your Life System’.

2 thoughts on “Self Fulfilling-Prophecy: Oh the Irony!

  1. Windy Davis

    Really great article about fears. It is good to realize and remember that we all have fears that we carry around with us everyday. I think acknowledging that we are not alone in our fears will help us remember to let them go.

    Thanks Ashton!

  2. John

    I feel fear is the only factor which distinguishes rich and poor people. Fear makes them even stay away from starting a task.

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