Those same persons had also generally reinforced in me that I was too
quiet, too loud, not engaging enough, too fat, and too poor a
communicator to ever succeed in life because at the time I had a
stuttering problem. They also complained that I lacked confidence and
needed to have more self-esteem. Those comments certainly caused me
to spend some time wondering what part of myself I was suppose to
utilize when there was so little good to work with for success.

After careful consideration I came to realize that most people don't
really know what they're saying when they tell someone to be
themselves. The only way it can have meaning and purpose is if the
person giving that instruction approves of the person they give it to
and believes in them. Telling someone "to be yourself" must be backed
with honesty and truth.

So whenever someone tells you to "be yourself" you should only take
their advice if you're sure they approve of you and believe you're
about to take part in a situation you can handle. Otherwise, they may
be giving you poor advise. Especially if you don't intend to use
enough wisdom to assess what you're about to do and plan accordingly.

For example, if you're about to make a business proposal to a group of
executives for their financial backing and you go before them dressed
"as yourself" in casual jeans, a t-shirt and tennis shoes while
they're dressed in conservative business suits, being yourself a
hundred percent is probably going to work against you. And if they're
as conservative as they appear, you had better speak in a professional
manner or your contemporary speaking style may turn them off sooner
than your casual attire does.

It's important to be ourselves, but in order to be compatible with
certain types of people for the best communication to take place, we
have to modify our appearances and behaviors somewhat while we present
our true inner qualities through our actions and verbal content.

Let's face it, you can only be your best at the moment from what you
know. So if your "real self" doesn't get you what you're seeking
after, you must use the negative experiences in your life to
positively alter and refine your behavior for specific situations.
This is how we develop ourselves and grow. By looking at the phrase,
"just be yourself" logically, we should always take final
responsibility for our actions and ability to succeed. Don't put that
responsibility on someone else or you'll blame them if you fail and
you'll never grow.

By "just being ourselves," we won't see any reason for personal
development and little reason to go after the dreams we desire because
our "real selves" if undeveloped, will keep us from having the courage
to reach beyond what we know at the moment to achieve fulfillment.

So the next time someone tells you to "just be yourself' think very
carefully if that's really good advice or if you need to make some
changes that will not only benefit you, but will help you to make an
honest, yet successful presentation of yourself and your plans. Look
to yourself in order to be yourself and success will follow.

Margaret Lukasik
Christian Teacher and Life Coach

Please visit me for more Success Secrets at:
http://www.the-way-to-wealthy-living.com