No this isn't a suicide note, although to be honest I have made the attempt several times in the past. One time believe it or not I took a 500 tablet bottle of Midol. That's right Midol and my PSM went right away. I am not trying to make light of suicide in any way. For there are times in the late of night I sit there and look at the bottles of medication I take every day of my life and as I have noted earlier in this blog since 1987 when I was shot I have lived with sever depression as well as being diagnosed as bi-polar.

I have learned it is my choice to give in to these impulses or not. I choose not to.

I have to say right here that if you are having thoughts of suicide call the hot line at ...

1.800.SUICIDE - National Suicide Prevention Hotline

Kristin Brooks Hope Center, Program Manager of the National Hopeline Network: 1.800.SUICIDE (784-2433), Suicide Prevention Hotline.

And do it right now.

I am in the middle of this session wondering where in the world I am going with this. For some reason I am suppose to be writing this and it is for YOU for I know you are reading it right now. I was sitting in my chair having just finished my last entry "An Emotional Experience" when the next thing I know I am writing this with a sense of ergency I haven'' felt fot a long time.

I have had so many things happen to me divorces, gun shot, major surgeries, minor strokes, heart attacks, Heart Break.

What ever is going on with you believe me I can relate. I have been places, done things the ordinary person would never do or even think of doing. Write me in the comments section below this entry and I will respond to you if you give me an email address.

So much has happened to me. I look around and see fabulous people dying everyday in their 50's, 40's and their 30's. I am 65 and I say why am I still here. Then Spirit says to me you aren't done yet there are still many more for you to speak to and many more dreams to fulfill.

So here is a double dose of me for one day Oh how blessed you are.

I Love you all and show your support for this blog by visiting the many books we have to assist you on your Spiritual Journey.