Self-confidence is a belief that we can perform a task. We maybe extremely comfortable performing thousands of tasks having the self-confidence from tackling these tasks on a daily basis. We believe we can do them. But self-confidence forms just a part of our subconscious belief system.
Our belief system holds all that we believe to be true whether rational or irrational. Our belief in God, our ideas about other people, races and gender and our beliefs about ourselves.
We've all probably heard of women who believe that all men are cheats, never to be trusted to be faithful and monogamous. It is a part of their subconscious belief system and consequently they find it difficult to form any lasting, meaningful relationship.
Believing all people of a certain ethnic group are nothing but trouble will taint any form of contact with people from that culture, never seeing the qualities of each individual.
These beliefs boil down to being opinions, solid ideas rooted in the subconscious mind that no matter their foundation will guide our actions and reactions. Beliefs get stronger with evidence that back them up, and we often search for the proof that supports our beliefs. Beliefs can be weakened by contradiction and under certain circumstances can be completely destroyed. Brainwashing and propaganda are extreme examples.
Where do our beliefs come from?
Our conscious minds filter out ideas, allowing what is rational to form in our subconscious. But these conscious filters can be by-passed allowing some ideas to form in our belief system even when irrational.
So how can ideas by-pass the conscious filters to reach the subconscious level?
Firstly, when an idea comes from someone we trust. As children we trusted our parents. We trusted their ideas. When we were told that the pet that wandered around the house was a cat, we believed them. This was supported by the fact that everybody else called it a cat, so the idea became a strong belief. If the same parents told us we were stupid and useless, this opinion would seek its way to our subconscious mind. Constant confirmation that we were no good coming from our parents would entrench the idea firmly in the subconscious mind, forming a strongly held, negative belief about ourselves. Any time we found somebody rejecting or ignoring us, we used this as evidence to support our poor image of ourselves.
Secondly, when we are hypnotised our conscious filters are muted. This allows suggestions to pass directly to the subconscious mind; the basis of which hypnotherapy is formed.
Lastly, when our conscious minds are captivated by something that captures our full attention. This makes us highly receptive to suggestions. When TV companies have their commercial brakes during the middle of a football game, the conscious mind is so engrossed in the final outcome of the game that the messages delivered by the advertiser are being received by the subconscious mind.
Beliefs can greatly affect our lives. False beliefs can become fulfilling prophecies. Believing we will always be poor because we couldn't possibly be good at running a business will result in us always being poor. We don't have the motivation to try and this in turn upholds our belief.
False beliefs need to be challenged and contradicted. If we want to believe we can be a success but don't yet truly believe it, we need to find the evidence that contradicts the belief that we are doomed to failure. Celebrate all successes, how ever small, and this will provide added motivation and impetus to destroy the negative self belief.
Terry Norrington
www.getselfconfident.com
