It's that time of year again to give thanks. The church was full today as the people brought in their gifts of fresh fruit, vegetables, bread and many other types of food. Yes it was the harvest festival. Being also in conjunction with the family service my two boys took up our gifts of a packet of rice and biscuits. I'm sure someone somewhere in our community will be enjoying a chocolate digestive curry anytime soon.

 

It got me thinking though about how grateful we are for the good things we have in life. How many of us appreciate all the good we have in life and give thanks for that?

 

Do you see life as a glass half full or half empty? Do you see this world as being a wonderful place, a true gift from god, or somewhere filled with doom, fear and misery?

 

If you view the world as the latter you are likely not to see anything worth being thankful for. You cannot see passed the next day, never knowing where the next penny is coming from.

 

On the other hand, if the glass is half full, it is seen to be half filled with champagne. This in its self is worth being thankful for; a positive outlook on life. Despite all the doom and gloom that goes on you see and smell the roses, appreciate the food on the table, enjoy the company of good friends and family.

Even if finances are hard, having faith, trusting in god will see you through to the next day and the next harvest.

 

After the church service I took my wife and two boys over to my parents. Every two or three weeks we visit and they are generous enough to cook the Sunday lunch, again for which we are truly grateful. My father particularly is deeply interested in politics and will create heavy debates based upon his points of view.

 

Today he rambled on about the credit crunch and the financial mess that most parts of the world seem to be experiencing. He complained about the banks and bankers that reportedly have conjured up this situation. A downcast picture was painted which could very easily depress any of us. My stance however was to ask what he could do about the situation to make it better? The answer of course was nothing. Other than to vote for the other lot cometh the next general election and even then they probably won't do any better.

 

Having now made him understand he could not personally do anything about the current circumstances I asked him why he was worrying about it? My point was that we all should be concerned with the things we can control and not the things we can't. Given where we are we need to be looking at how we can progress forward, making the most of our lives and continue to grow and achieve our ambitions. It is so easy to fall into the negative trap of bad news that is constantly dished out by the media that focussing on the good becomes very difficult.

 

Life is full of wonderful things. Observe these and view these with gratitude.

 

Terry Norrington

 

www.getselfconfident.com  

 

 

 

 

I cannot think for one minute that there is anybody who would not like to be successful. The questions that the majority of people fail to answer are how? Where do I find the self confidence and belief to succeed?

 

This article will help unravel some answers to these questions.

 

What is success?

 

Success is about having all that you want. If you have self confidence in yourself knowing that you have achieved your goals, fulfilled your plans and dreams you will undoubtedly be feeling proud. You will be able to walk with your head held high, feeling happy, satisfied, contented. This would be a pretty good example of somebody who has created success.

 

How to be successful

 

It could be said that there are no really successful or unsuccessful people. Every single one of us has remarkable and unlimited potential. It is how we use our potential that makes the difference. There are those in life who choose or find a way to use their talents and gifts and those that don't. Be one of those who decide to make the most of their god given talents, create self confidence and persist when the going gets tough.

 

So what stops people fulfilling their potential?

 

* False beliefs

 

These are beliefs that do not have any real foundation. You may lack self confidence, believing that you could never achieve your dreams. You may believe that by being successful you will have to walk all over other people to get what you want. But where do these ideas come from?

 

Normally they come from other people, notably people you trust. They will have probably quoted situations to prove their point. You will see examples to support these theories and these beliefs become deep rooted in your subconscious mind. But if you were to examine these beliefs closely you will see that there is as much evidence to dispute these theories. See how much you have achieved in your life already. See the much admired ethical business man who has built his fortune on fairness and a desire to help others.

 

* External influences

 

How often do you find excuses for a lack of success? Perhaps it was somebody else's fault, the time wasn't right or luck wasn't on your side. It takes self belief, self confidence to fulfil your potential. In order to have the things in life that you want you have to learn not to blame other things and other people and take control of any given situation.

 

* Lack of persistence

 

The people who have created the greatest successes in life are those that totally believe in what they are fighting for. They have the self confidence in their own abilities. When everything seems to be going against them they still strive forwards, finding ways around the obstacles. When they think they have exhausted all avenues they find yet another one. In the end they move mountains to fulfil their dreams.

 

* Lack of flexibility

 

This follows on from the point above. Sometimes when trying hard to achieve your goals, you may travel down the wrong road. At times you can travel miles down that wrong road before you realise your mistake. You must have the flexibility to change direction and learn from these mistakes. Find a different route to achieve your ambitions but don't give up. Have the self confidence in yourself.

 

* Lack of planning

 

It can be very easy to meander along the path thinking that you will get there one day. All successful people have plans on how they are going to get to the top of their particular mountain. They set goals and strive to achieve them. You may well have that large goal to achieve but without the little goals designed to draw you nearer to that pinnacle, you have no direction to follow.

 

* Lacking self confidence

 

The issue of self confidence has been addressed already in this article. Suffice to say that self confidence is a must if you truly want to achieve all that you want to achieve. It can be a vicious circle,  albeit a fantastic vicious circle in that the more you achieve the stronger your self confidence becomes and the stronger your self confidence the more you are able to achieve.

 

* Thinking that you lack resources

 

If you really believe in a project, if you want the project to work and you have the self confidence to make the project work you will find the resources. It is just one of those obstacles to overcome when you are being persistent. Not all projects require a lot of resources any way. A great many internet businesses are founded on virtually no money at all and just require a little knowledge and self confidence to get you going.

 

* Success related fear

 

This last item may seem like an odd one but some people do fear success. Usually it is because they are comfortable with failure. They can put in place all the right structures to create the potential for success and just as they are about to get a result they do something to throw it all away. This can in turn support the false belief that they are destined never to fulfil any potential, destroying self confidence in the process. Any type of fear needs to be overcome if true greatness is to be achieved. There are many self help books and resources available to help overcome fears.

 

It can be seen that there are certain personality traits required in order to develop success. You should not despair if you think you do not have all these requirements. Like self confidence they can be developed, so that you, like everybody else can live up to the potential waiting inside.

 

Terry Norrington

 

www.getselfconfident.com

 

  

 

Credit crunch, bank failures, house repossessions, share prices in free fall, high fuel bills, cost of food rising- depressed you yet?

 

If you have that self confidence about you and you hold no fear then probably not.

 

"What's he rambling on about?" you may well ask.

 

Well, day after day there seems to be no let up on the reported gloom of the world's economic state of affairs. It's enough to knock the stuffing and self confidence out of the strongest of people.

 

No it's not.

 

There's plenty to be thankful for in this bright and wonderful world. Nature is a wonderful thing. The bright green of the open fields, birds singing in the trees; trees that at this time of year of autumn dazzle with the golden colour of falling leaves. Every single one of us has goodness inside of us and we should be grateful for that and learn to witness this in each other. For those blessed in living in the richer countries, these are still wonderful places to live. I could go on but the point I am trying to make is that the world is how we want to see it.

 

If you believe it is a world full of evil and misery this is what you will see. On the other hand if you can open your eyes to the wonderment that this world has to offer you will observe nature in all its glory and open yourself to all the opportunities it has to give.

 

It is unfortunate that good news doesn't make news. It seems that newspapers are sold the world over on fear, uncertainty and doubt (FUD). They destroy the self confidence of every fragile man and it seems there are plenty of those about. The economy rises and falls on consumer confidence; is it any wonder the economy appears to be in free fall when all the news media focuses on is FUD?

 

A strong man, a man of true self confidence is a man who can hold his nerve when all those around him lose theirs. Fear holds us back from being constructive. It stops us visualising the way forward and makes us defensive instead. Our actions are all about protecting ourselves and taking backward steps if that is what is required. It takes men (and women; don't want to appear to be sexist) without fear, with courage and self confidence to clear a path forward and strive to make this world a better place for all.

 

Discover how to live without fear and that person could be you.

 

As was said earlier, this world is a beautiful place. The opportunities are there for every single one of us. All we have to do is open our eyes and grab those opportunities when they arise. Remember, when one door closes another door opens.

 

It really isn't nature's way for us to live in poverty. God's work is to continuously make this world a better place and he looks for his work to be done through every single one of us. Through our own self confidence and belief in our abilities we can take the opportunities that he gives us, do something constructive, and experience the abundances that are out there for everyone.

 

 

I have read many a book that advocates closing your ears to the news. They say "do not read about negative things, only read about good things to support your self confidence and positive way of thinking". I cannot whole heartedly agree with this. Whilst I can see the rationale, it also makes us vulnerable. We must be aware of the things that are going wrong so that we can be constructive in putting them right. Also it gives us the knowledge of where to focus any of our charitable energies.

 

It has to be put into perspective. There may well be doom and gloom but it is far out weighed by the greatness in this world. Look at all your friends, your family, your neighbours (everybody needs good neighbours). How many are inherently evil? `How many are thieves, muggers or murderers? Not many I bet. There are many, many more good decent folk around you than bad. Celebrate that fact. Be grateful and have self confidence for that fact. See the world for the way it really is and not the negative way the media try to portray it.

 

Be strong, let your self confidence be strong and think for yourself. Don't let others sway you away from thinking this is a wonderful world. It is a terrific world and we can all make a contribution to make it better place still.

 

Terry Norrington

 

www.getselfconfident.com  

 

 

 

    

 

 

 

 

It is an unfortunate fact of life that in order to build the self confidence to be successful, mistakes will inevitably be made. These mistakes could well seem disastrous at the time but in order to be successful and build your self confidence you have to discover how to learn from these mistakes and have the perseverance to carry on. There have been some very famous business men and celebrities that have conquered adversity, and brimming with self confidence have become great personalities within their industries

 

Most of this information has been collected from Wikipedia.

 

Henry Ford

 

Born July 1863 in Dearborn, Michigan. As an engineer with the Edison Illuminating Company in Detroit he was able to create personal experiments into the internal combustion engine. After two unsuccessful attempts to establish a company, with self confidence, the Ford Motor Company was incorporated in 1903 with Henry Ford as Vice President and Chief Engineer. He lost his fortune several times but re-established his wealth each time. The Ford Motor Company is still a thriving business in the automotive industry today.

 

Adam Faith

 

Born June 1940 in Acton, London. Adam had a successful career in music, stage and film. His musical talents produced many hit singles during the late 1950s and 1960s. Adam's acting abilities were seen in the touring version of "Billy Liar" of which he played the lead role and likewise in the television role of Budgie. Film wise he had major roles in the 1970s films "Stardust" and "McVicar". With self confidence he re-invented himself as a business man and financial guru, writing a financial column for The Mail on Sunday. Famously he too lost his wealth only to re-establish it again.

 

Donald Trump

 

Born June 1946.  Donald is an American business magnate, socialite, television personality and author. Chairman and CEO of The Trump Organisation; a United States of America based real estate developer and founder of Trump Entertainment Resorts who operate casinos and hotels across the world. His extravagant lifestyle, outspoken manner and extreme self confidence have made him a true celebrity. The 1990s saw his much publicised financial problems, creditor led bailout and an extramarital affair resulting in divorce from his first wife Ivana Trump. The late 1990s and the new century has seen a resurgence in his financial position and remains a major figure in the field of real estate in the U.S.A.

 

Gordon Ramsay

 

Born November 1966. Gordon is a Celebrity Chef who has been awarded 12 Michelin Stars. Television programmes of note includes "Hell's Kitchen" and "The F Word" in the United Kingdom and "Fox's Hell's Kitchen" and "Kitchen Nightmares" in the United States of America. His early years were devoted to football with Rangers showing more than a glancing interest in his talent. Despite self confidence, persistent serious knee injuries prevented him signing for the club. His attention now leant towards his other interest; cooking of which his successful career was founded. His business interests include restaurants, media and consultancy all held in Gordon Ramsay Holdings Ltd. Gordon Ramsay has had two court cases which have proved successful in his favour.

 

Bill Gates (William Henry Gates III)

 

Born October 1955. An American business magnate of self confidence, philanthropist and the third richest man in the world (as of February 2008). Chairman and co-founder of the Microsoft organisation. Although admired by many for his entrepreneurial attributes he has often been criticised for his business tactics and management style. Some tactics have been considered anti-competitive; some of these opinions having been upheld in court. Despite this Microsoft remains the number one computer software company in the world today.

 

These people show how, with self confidence, harrowing adversity doesn't have to stop them fulfilling their dreams. With belief in your abilities and self confidence you to can overcome any set-backs to create the success you truly aspire to.

 

Terry Norrington

 

www.getselfconfident.com

 

 

Do you know who you are?

 

This may sound like a really peculiar question, but are you truly the person that you portray to the rest of the world. When you are out with friends do you try to be the life and soul of the party, always cracking jokes and making people laugh, appearing to be have extreme self confidence.

 

Perhaps you always act like the supremely tough person with self confidence, hoping to make others respect you by allowing them to think that you are somebody not to be messed with.

 

But is this your true nature or are you attempting to portray a false image?

 

It is human nature to be liked by everybody else. Very few people like to be hated or have others think ill of them. We prefer to have others think highly of us and act in a way that is going to promote a positive image of ourselves. This gives us self confidence and self esteem albeit temporarily while our friends play along with our acting.

 

Once you are away from the crowd you probably start to ask questions of yourself.

 

Did you make a fool of yourself?

 

Did you go over the top and make comments that offended someone?

 

Was you really true to yourself?

 

Perhaps your self confidence and image of yourself isn't yet as highly developed as you would like. If it was you would have the belief that you are a decent person and your friends will accept you for the way you are.

 

How often before meeting friends for the evening do you rehearse the things you are likely to say?

 

How many jokes do you practice in your head just so you can spread some hilarity amongst the crowd?

 

Do you go over the tough sounding sound bytes to make your acquaintances look up to you?

 

All this can be quite emotionally draining and does nothing for your self confidence especially if things don't go according to plan. Your evening could be ruined all for the sake of impressing others.

 

You need to be yourself. Deep down you know you are a good person. Have the self confidence and belief in yourself to be yourself. Others will respect you for it. By going out in the evening with the only plan being to be yourself you may actually start to enjoy yourself. It's surprising how spontaneity can give you the quick and funny one liners without having to rehearse any lines. Getting into debates can be very interesting without having to plan them or make them come up in conversation. Just let them happen. By the end of the evening your friends will have seen the real you and they will be the happier for it because they are likely to have been more relaxed in your company; not having had to compete to keep up with you. Your self confidence will have been boosted to.

 

O.K. you may naturally be the witty guy full of the wise cracks. You may well be the hard man with the self confidence to be able to handle yourself. That is perfectly fine if that is the real you. But you decide. If you act in a way that is done only to impress others then stop.

 

Who is the most important person for you to impress?

 

It's yourself. And you can only do this if you are true to yourself. We cannot be everything to everybody.

 

So why even try?

 

Although you can try to influence what others think, you cannot control what others think. What you can control is what you think. Concentrate on yourself. Look at what your principles are; the principles by which you try to live your life. Have the self confidence and belief that these principles are good ones. By acting according to these principles others will see the real you and this is what will gain their respect most of all.

 

It is not being said here that you can't have a laugh and a joke, but don't go out of your way to force it to happen. Let it happen naturally with spontaneity. It is much more fun that way.

 

Living your life according to what you believe in should be practiced twenty four hours a day. It isn't difficult because this is the way you are naturally. Going against your principles is where the hard work is.

 

Study your principles. Have the self confidence that these principles are good and then be yourself living as best as you can according to these principles.

 

This is who you really are.

 

Terry Norrington

 

www.getselfconfident.com   

 

 

 

 

 

 

In creating self-confidence and personal growth, we will have to establish some direction. Determining what our goals are, what we want out of life and creating self confidence helps us to grow positively as a person.

 

So how to we construct our direction?

 

Imagery of our own personal time-line is a great self-confidence technique that works well for many a person and is used instinctively by many successful people.

 

Time-lines are particularly associated with history. A line drawn to represent a period of time in history, can quickly identify important dates for, say the Ancient Greeks, for example, with the various significant dates written either side of the line in chronological order. We can create a time-line to represent our future giving our subconscious mind more identifiable goals to achieve and the self confidence to know that we will reach them. 

 

Everybody has their own time-line and first, we have to discover the direction in which our own personal time-line flows. This is a one technique that can be used to establish that direction:

 

1. Think of something you do daily; driving as an example. Visualise doing this activity tomorrow. This image, is it in front you or behind you, to the right or the left? Is it close or  far away?
2. Next form that same picture, but this time see yourself next week. Is this new image in front or behind the previous image, to the right or the left, closer or further in the distance? How about last week. Where does this picture of you performing the activity a week ago fit in?
3. Now picture you doing the same activity in a month time. Is it in front or behind the previous images, to the right or to the left, closer or further away? Again picture the activity being undertaken a month ago.
4. Finally repeat this for six months time and six months ago.
5. Now visualise all these pictures joined up by one line. This represents our own personal time-line. There are no right or wrong answers; the direction the line takes is personal to each person.

 

Knowing the direction our own personal time-line flows in, we can now use this to map out our future plans, to develop the self confidence to achieve.

 

1. Visualise a year from now. Imagine the greatest year you've ever had. See how you behave, think and how you are affected emotionally and financially. How has your health and relationships improved?
2. Now place this image on your own personal time-line at a point that represents one year ahead.
3. See that image large with plenty of colour.
4. Next see a slightly smaller picture of you in nine months time. Place that image on the time-line that represents nine months into the future.
5. Now do the same for six months time, a smaller picture still placed on your time-line in the appropriate place. Then again for three months into the future.
6. Now look at the pictures that map out a path to your future. Allow the subconscious mind to absorb the experience of success in each picture, starting from three months to the first year.

 

The subconscious mind takes in information and experiences in the form of images and pictures. It cannot distinguish between reality and imagination particularly if the images are bold and clear. With vivid images of a truly successful future supported by plenty of practice of this self-confidence technique, your subconscious mind will believe that these are our goals and set out to achieve them.

 

Terry Norrington

 

www.getselfconfident.com  

 

 

Can I do this?

 

Of course you can and you must believe it. Have the self confidence and that "can do attitude" to achieve that desired result.

 

Can you get rid of "can't"?

 

Without a doubt. There is little point in having all the self confidence in the world if you don't use it. To achieve success you have to get up and get it. Nobody is going to do it for you. And you can do it.

 

How many times do you find yourself thinking "I can't do that"?

 

Low and behold I bet you find that you can't do that. You have to replace that word can't in your thinking with the word can. This is one of the greatest words that will build the foundation to self confidence.

 

"There's no such word as can't".

 

How many times have you heard that phrase?

 

Probably hundreds if you are like me. So many times during my sporting days did one coach or another throw that one at me. They were right though and, not surprisingly, it did wonders for my success and my self confidence.

 

We're not just talking about the major successes in life but some of the smaller goals as well.

 

How strong is your self confidence when it comes to job interviews?

 

Do you really believe that you can get that job, that you can impress the interviewer?

 

You must believe it and have the self confidence that you can do the job and you can convince them of that fact. They need to know that you have that self confidence and belief in your abilities. If you don't believe it they will look at the next candidate to convince them that they can do the job.

 

You're at a nightclub and that attractive girl is giving you the eye. Do you truly believe that you can be the next best thing in her life?

 

Of course you do. Don't be nervous. Get over there and offer to buy her a drink. Wow her with your charm and self confidence. A lack of self confidence will likely put her of you. If you shy away and do nothing she will loose interest very quickly and find somebody else.

 

What have you got to loose?

 

The very worst is that you might end up with egg on your face, embarrassed that you got the signals wrong. But with the self confidence that you can show, the benefits could be tremendously rewarding. She could be your ultimate soul mate destined to be your lover forever.

 

How fantastic is that?

 

The point is if you continuously say you can't do that then inevitably you will end up with little to show in life. You must say "I can" and then do it. The results will be so much better.

 

The trick is to catch yourself when the word can't comes into your thoughts or words. Making a conscious effort to change that word into can may appear to be difficult in the beginning but the more you practice the easier it becomes.  With greater self confidence the word can't will soon fade from your thoughts and speech. Question the reason why you think you can't.

 

Is this thought irrational?

 

The likelihood is that it is. Seeing that there is no logical basis for negative thinking will soon turn can't into can and improve your self confidence no end.

 

Just one word of caution. Don't confuse the word can't with the phrase "I don't want to". There may be very many reasons why you don't want to do a particular thing and your thoughts are protecting you from making what is likely to be an obvious mistake. It could be very foolish to say you can do something when in fact you actually do not want to. Be wise to the situation.

 

A "can do" attitude is a must for success. Develop your self confidence based on this attitude and see how quickly success CAN follow.

 

Terry Norrington

 

www.getselfconfident.com