Making a Difference

Life Lessons From Maxie

2010-01-25T20:28:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I learn life lessons from the most unusual places. How about you? Just this week I realized how much our pets can teach us if we just let them. Maxie, my wonderfully sweet little mutt, has taught me how to live life better in several ways.

Live life with enthusiasm! No one can mistake the enthusiasm Maxie has. She's a little thing, only 12 pounds of golden furry goodness, but she lives life large. Whether she's chasing a squirrel in the backyard or dancing around for a treat, she puts her whole heart into whatever she's doing. She reminds me to put my whole heart into my own endeavors.

Live life in the present! Maxie is nowhere if not in the here and now. She always lives in the present, never worries about the past or future. She reminds me that worry doesn't help, that what I have right now is what's most important, that I shouldn't let this moment pass without enjoying it.

Live life with love! Maxie loves everyone she meets. And she doesn't keep it a secret! When I come home at the end of the day, she shows it. When someone comes to visit, she shows it. She enjoys giving and receiving love. She reminds me how precious my relationships with others are and how I should show my love at every opportunity.

I challenge you to look for life lessons in unexpected places. You just might find some precious gems, just as I did, from a furry little canine named Maxie.

Enthusiastically yours, Jean

www.jeanbaileyrobor.com

www.facebook.com/jeanbaileyrobor.com

How To Play The Game Of Life

2010-01-07T01:53:00.000-08:00

By Andrew Goodman

Life is really quite simple when you understand the rules, and quite baffling when you don't. If you have the presence of mind to learn the rules and apply them, you will stand out above the rest as everything clicks into place. Before we get started, ask yourself why you want anything in life. What do you think it will give you? If you search your feelings you have to come to the conclusion that it is because you think that it will make you feel better in some way or other. You also know, deep down, that unless you follow your life dreams and goals, you will never be truly happy.

The crux of this whole game called life is that you can't ever go back and be happy. When you've become aware that you want more than you have, you will never feel happy unless you can become that new and improved person that you have identified yourself as wanting to be. Life is about expanding, becoming more, and you will be constantly becoming. Whether or not you effectively keep up with your own becoming, is really up to you. Some people allow themselves to go to who they've become (richer, more beautiful, more successful, more creative, more loving), and they live joyful lives as a result. Others tend to drag their feet and have lives which are less fun as they feel the tension between their 'potential lives' and their 'reality'. If you want powerfully, and yet fail miserably to keep up with your expansion, the tension becomes unbearable and you tend to block out reality with some substance or bevahiour which diverts your focus, or else you exit the game early.

Others are convinced that because it feels painful to want, that wanting, in and of itself, is somehow wrong. So they try to reduce their desires. This is an uphill struggle, as life in all of its variety is designed to inspire desire from those who participate in it. It is what expansion of life is all about. These people tend to become resentful at those who want and receive, and always feel a certain amount is missing from their lives as they recognise deep down that they are missing the greater part of themselves elsewhere.

On the whole, people don't understand how they get what they get in life, and in their feeling of powerlessness they seek to think their way out of it. They strive to control the circumstances around them, creating rules and laws and trying to restrict the behaviour of others. If people were self-empowered, they wouldn't feel the need to legislate against anyone else, as they would understand how everything came to them. You can't think your way out of it, you have to feel your way

Furthermore, the only way you can ever come into your own power is by letting go of control of the outside world, its people places and things, and look inside yourself instead to seek control of the way you feel. Many great teachers throughout the ages have spoken of unconditional love, and this is what they meant. Unconditional love says "I will love (feel good) regardless of what the conditions might be. I will be who I really am and love you, even if you are feeling bad and blaming me or my behaviour for the way you feel". Conditional love says; "I will love (feel good) when you behave in a way that pleases me, but if you don't please me, I will disapprove of you and feel bad. It is your responsibility to behave in a way that makes me feel good." So how can we practice unconditional love? By focussing in a way that makes us feel good. Seeing things in a kind, loving, gentle light, giving people the benefit of the doubt. By knowing that nobody's done anything wrong and that all really is well. By demonstrating the loving person that you really are to the world, and feeling the true nature of your being.

Unfortunately the majority are trained away from their own true power as they grow up surrounded by people who are living conditional love. These well meaning caregivers need others to modify their behaviour in order for them to feel good. Unfortunately for you this trains you away from the only important thing in life; the way that you feel. The only thing of any importance to you, is the way that you feel. It determines everything that comes to you. Everything else really is irrelevant. So to get to this point where you can control the way you feel, and therefore how the world responds to you, you need to understand where your emotions come from and why they are so important to you.

Do you understand this game called life? How the world addresses itself to you? How you get or don't get what you get in life? How is it that some are wildly successful and others live lives of mediocrity? Why are some people rich beyond your wildest dreams and other work so hard and earn but a pittance? Is life a game of chance, and is there any benefit in working hard? How do we make the world a fairer place for everyone living here? Do we need to change the systems we currently have in place?

So many questions, but where to start? We need to stop trying to 'think' our way and start to 'feel' our way along the path. Emotions are a powerful guidance that few understand, but appreciation for them will lead to personal satisfaction and a joyful life experience. But before we discuss emotions, we need to talk about The Law. That's right folks, it's The Law of Attraction, the only law worth talking about.

The Law of Attraction is the manager of all things. All things are vibrational, not just here, but everywhere both physical and non-physical. And it's fair to say that if you are going to have a joyful life, you probably would benefit from understanding how it works. Law of Attraction matches up like and like things. The expression 'Birds of a Feather Flock Together' is a demonstration of the law. We attract to us things which are of similar essence? But similar in what way?

Think of yourself as a radio tuner. Any time you think a thought (which is all the time unless you're asleep or meditating) you are tuning into a thought frequency, which law of attraction is matching up with like things; similar thoughts come at first, then similar things. You may have heard people say "Be careful what you wish for!" If you give your attention to any one thing for an extended period of time, and you will start to attract the essence of that thing into your life.

You have tuned into a frequency which you will now start to see in your life. Things you give you attention to briefly start showing up everywhere as you have tuned into that frequency. It's not that they weren't there before, they were always there, it's just that you see them because you're on their frequency. High, bright, happy thoughts have a high vibrational frequency, and low, sad, depressing, angry thoughts have a lower frequency. The energy of your source vibrates at a very high fast pure vibration. If you dip to the low vibes, you will feel the difference between you and the source, God part of you.

So how does Law of Attraction apply to the real world? If I behave 'as if' I'm successful, will I become a success? Well, not necessarily. The Law of Attraction matches you up with things which match the way you feel about 'those subjects' in your life. If you feel successful, then Law of Attraction will match you up with situations which feel that way. If you only act or use words to pretend you are successful, but you still feel like a failure, then you cannot achieve success until you start feeling successful. You might even be a success in the eyes of others, but not in your own eyes. Feel the way you want to be, and let Law of Attraction bring you everything you want.

About the Author:

To see the full story visit www.happyhappyhappynews.com. Andrew is a freelance contributor for www.happyhappyhappynews.com the number 1 place for happy news on the web.

5 Simple Resolutions to Make This Year Better than the Last

2010-01-01T18:37:00.001-08:00

When the next year rolls around, I often find my thoughts wandering to the past year. As always, there were good times, there were bad times. Amazingly, the way I perceive a past year is almost always determined by how I handled those 'bad' times. We all have situations that challenge us. I'd like to think that most times I rise to the occasion. However, there are those times where I know I could have handled things better. Have you ever had moments like that? So, what should we do, going forward? How should we handle those regrets?

Dwelling on regrets will not make things better. However, intending to 'rise to the challenge' in the new year will. Here are a few suggestions for preparing ourselves for those challenges:

Resolve to smile in the face of adversity. It's hard to feel anger/frustration when you're smiling.

Resolve to express gratitude. Look for excuses to praise others, to praise God for the good things, whether big or small.

Resolve to give great customer service, even when your customer is unpleasant. Not in sales? Your 'customer' can be anyone you deal with throughout your day. Remember the Golden Rule and treat them they way you'd want to be treated.

Resolve to look for opportunities to help others. Something as simple as holding the door as someone walks through or donating your time to a local charity will impact others in a positive way. And it'll make you feel great!

Resolve to give yourself a break. Don't beat yourself up over unreached goals or broken resolutions. Instead, intend to reach the next goal. Focus on success not failure.

Every year will bring joys and challenges. The way we handle those challenges can determine whether we look back on the year as a success. Incorporating these 5 simple resolutions can help to make this year better than the last.

Resolutely yours,
Jean

www.jeanbaileyrobor.com
www.facebook.com/jeanbaileyrobor

A Bittersweet Holiday Season

2009-12-26T09:22:00.001-08:00

As an advocate for all things Christmas, I take pleasure in all the joys that the holiday season brings. I focus on the shiny packages rather than the backache I get every year from wrapping them all at once. I enjoy the laughter and smiles around the table rather than dwelling on the hours of preparation and clean up. Focusing on the positive, intending to enjoy the holidays, these things are what make Christmas a wonderful time of the year.

Of course, none of our lives are perfect. Sometimes the everyday stresses creep in; sometimes holiday stresses creep in. Sometimes simply the after-Christmas-let-down, when all the hustle-and-bustle is over, creeps in. These 'creeps' threaten to overshadow an otherwise joyful holiday. Being aware of the creeps will help to deter them. Also, consciously relaxing your body and your mind will help as well. A good way to do this is to carve out some time for yourself. A nice relaxing bubble bath after a busy day, a massage, meditating, reading uplifting material, listening to soft music, slowing down and taking a few moments to enjoy the wonders of nature, by-passing high stress level activities, all these can make for a more joyful holiday season. Something as simple as ordering a cake for your holiday gathering rather than making one yourself may help.

Still, there are often circumstances that are beyond our control. Maybe this is your first holiday alone, the first where your kids are no longer with you, the first after your divorce, the first after the death of a spouse, a parent, or a friend. Simply factoring in some 'me-time' may help but certainly will not erase the pain you feel, the loss, the emptiness.

I don't have all the answers; I don't have the 'cure' for the pain. What I do have is from my own experience. What I do have, I'll give to you with a hope that it helps. For me, writing down my thoughts and feelings helps. Spending time with a close friend helps. Talking to a professional counselor helps. Baring your soul to God helps. Making the holidays a happy time for others helps; even if you don't feel like it, even if you don't feel you have the time, doing something for others will bless you. Trust me on this.

There's no 'quick fix' for heartbreak or heartache. However, with time, the pain will ease. And concentrating on helping others, as well as taking positive steps to helping yourself, will aid in easing the pain.

This holiday season may be bittersweet for you. Next holiday season may be as well. Just hang in there, move forward little by little, and you'll find the future can be filled with joys you've experienced in Christmases past. I know.

Wishing you a blessed holiday season,
Jean

www.jeanbaileyrobor.com
www.facebook.com/jeanbaileyrobor

Ever Wonder What Factors Affect Motivation?

2009-12-18T05:00:00.000-08:00

By Trevor Johnson

In the workforce, many wonder what factors affect motivation. Understanding what motivates a worker is key for a leader. Throughout the years, there have been several theories in print that talk about motivation. Most agree that when one is motivated, a situation is presented or developed that makes a person strive to do more.

To motivate others, there are several ways that you can use.

One way is through curiosity. If a worker is assigned a task that they find interesting, then they are more likely to finish their task and want to work more from there. They are learning as they are working, thus making them want to go onto the next task.

Through Challenges:A person is apt to be more motivated if they are working towards a meaningful goal whether it is at work or in their personal life. To achieve that goal, and to feel as if it was worth something, the task should be increasingly difficult for them to attain.

Through Control: Many individuals have the need to feel in control of what is going on in their lives. If they are presented with a cause and affect where a task is rewarded with a specific goal, then this is a way for them to be motivated

Through Competition: There comes a satisfaction when one compares themselves to another and sees that they are doing better in some aspect. This is a good way to motivate several people at once as they are in competition with one another. There are people, though, that are not motivated through competition and may actually demotivate them in the process.

Lastly, there is the recognition technique. Workers like to know when they do well. Once their goal is accomplished and they are recognized for their work, this makes them want to continue in doing more work. Their work should not be compared to another worker's, but should be able to receive its own reward standing alone.

About the Author:

Check out this simple way to improve motivation with these free daily inspirational quotes.

Let's Go Outside!

2009-12-14T06:12:00.001-08:00

Remember how exciting it was when you were a youngster and someone would say, "Let's go outside!" It was a real treat. Playing outside was so much more fun than being inside the house all day. Imaginations ran wild as stick horses turned into stallions, bicycles became motorcycles, and porches were miraculously transformed into army headquarters. Outside! It was a beautiful thing.

Today the challenge is to go outside. Leave the computer, the television, the X-box, the Wii behind. Make a concerted effort to breathe in deeply the crisp clean air; feel it as it wafts across your skin; drink in the beauty of the world around you; close your eyes and listen, really listen to the sounds of nature. Those few moments, away from everything electronic (yes, leave that cell phone inside) will rejuvenate you and give you a sense of freedom from the stresses of life.

Your outside time should be pleasurable so no work allowed! Not unless, of course, you're raking up those leaves to take a flying leap into them! Remember the joys of being outside. Relive those joys again.
Let's go outside!

Playfully yours,
Jean
www.jeanbaileyrobor.com
www.facebook.com/jeanbaileyrobor

Tell Them…You’ll Make a Difference!

2009-12-05T14:38:00.001-08:00

Is there someone in your life whom you admire? Perhaps a relative, a friend or a colleague?

Many times we go through life, noticing the good qualities of others yet failing to tell them. They may not realize that their kind word or gesture made a difference in our life or the lives of others. It's time to tell them! Giving praise where it's due is a good thing. It's a gift you can freely give. It won't cost you a dime but it offers a great return on the short amount of time you've invested. You'll be blessed!

Sometimes it seems that negative criticism comes easier than praise. Even so, that's no excuse to keep our positive thoughts to ourselves. Let the good things in your heart flow; let your words lift up someone else. What you say may be the only positive comment they hear today. Wow, that's pretty powerful!

Recently, a friend of mine did something for someone else that I felt was pretty awesome. It was an act of giving without expecting anything in return. It touched my heart in knowing this as I'm sure it touched the heart of the recipient of his gift. I sent a simple email, praising his generosity.

Take a moment. Can you think of someone who has touched your life or the life of someone else? Today is a good day to let them know. Not only will you be a blessing to them, but you'll find it makes you feel pretty good as well. And it won't cost you a dime.

Is there something you admire about someone in your life? Tell them!

Admiringly yours,
Jean
www.jeanbaileyrobor.com
www.facebook.com/jeanbaileyrobor

Instructions for Creative Visualization 2

2009-12-01T02:38:00.000-08:00

By Taianna Camarado

Its fantastic and magical how creative visualization works to create success for the person who is visualizing. Yes, its magic - totally natural magic and one of the most superb aspects of being a human being!

What is Magic? Magic is just understanding and getting in tune with the natural principles that govern our universe, and using those principles in a consciously creative way. Focus, visual focus is the key to success and Id like to take a few minutes to explain it to you.

How Innovative Visualization Works

Lets sum up how Creative Visualization works, by looking at 5 Universal principles:

1. Our carnal universe is made up of energy, (Law of Physics).

2. Energy is magnetic in the whole nature (Law of Physics)

3. Equivalent energies attraction to each other (like attracts like-Universal Law of Attraction)

4. Form follows thought. Form/physical substance is made by thought/ mental energy. (Einstein)

5. Visualizing anything creates a focus - a thought form, from your mind " to Universal mind. (What you focus on. Increases.)

6. Whatever you put out to the Universe will be returned to you. (What goes around comes back!)

The Four Basic Steps for Effective Creative Visualization

1. Set your goal - Tell yourself what you desire

2. Create a clear idea or picture - Imagine looking the way you want to look! See the goal reached! With this close your eyes and see it in your minds eye many times a day. Feel your desire passionately.

3. Focus on it as much as possible

4. Give it positive energy. Think only good about it, feel only positive feelings.

Work this process until you achieve your goal, or you dont want it anymore. Goals often change before they manifest. If you lose interest, it usually means you need another goal.

Now, you too, can break through the barriers, remove all barriers in your life, have success, enjoy wellness, experience awesome levels of happiness, feel a motivational spirit within, develop more self motivation, motivate yourself and others, improve your health, be more healthy than ever before, feel inspiration day, inspire others, know the secrets of life, and reach your own potential. Taianna Camarado is a personal life coach and trainer. Her Amazing E-book contains recipes and audios to help you take control of your life and dramatically improve your mind and body today.

About the Author:

Wouldn't you like to Live an Amazing Life?Live an Amazing Life Master life in just a few weeks and Live an Amazing Life! Live an Amazing Life For teens, women, and grandmas too!

A Little Me-Time is a Good Thing

2009-11-05T05:54:00.001-08:00

How often do you find yourself doing so much for others that you seldom have time for yourself? Life often demands that we're stretched beyond our limits; however, if we schedule in a little me-time, we do ourselves and those around us a big favor. After all, who enjoys being stressed out or being around stressed out people?

Lately, I've been stretched to the limit. Life has demanded a lot of time and energy, meeting deadlines and dealing with a family member's illness. Today, I realized that I needed a little me-time to rejuvenate. If you're a busy person, you're probably due for a little me-time yourself.

What is 'me-time'? It can be a variety of things. Maybe it's taking time to walk through the park, alone or with a good friend. Maybe it's sitting in a local restaurant (as I'm doing right now), writing, putting your thoughts down. Maybe it's being alone in the house, playing piano. Maybe it's taking time for a nice massage, mani or pedi. Or, your preferred me-time could be taking the time to read a favorite book.

Just now, why not jot down a few ideas of what your me-time of choice might be? (Go ahead; I'll wait).

Now, pick one and, if necessary, put it on your calendar for next week. Treat that appointment as if it were as important as any other activity you've scheduled. And, most importantly, follow through.

A word of advice: Don't let anyone, even your own little voice, accuse you of being selfish. This is your time to revive, to rejuvenate, to better yourself so that you may serve others (and yourself) more productively.

A little me-time….it's a good thing.

Refreshingly yours,
Jean

www.jeanbaileyrobor.com
www.facebook.com/jeanbaileyrobor

Attracting Abundance, The Universe And You

2009-11-05T02:25:00.000-08:00

By Tina Hymas

Most of us know what we desire out of life, yet so few of us seem to actually get it. Instead of having the expensive cars, fabulous mansions, dream jobs, and perfect families we want, we seem to be constantly struggling, trying, and failing. The problem is not that we do not have the skills or abilities that separate winners from everyone else - we just do not know the secrets of attracting abundance.

What does it mean when we say 'attracting abundance'? It means that you attract what you want and need into your life for your subconscious and conscious mind. In short, you let the universe know that you are worth your dreams, and you're worth having them come true. Once we know this for ourselves and once we realize the power of the universe, this abundance can't help but come to us. We will truly be blessed beyond measure.

Thoughts have power. Our thoughts reflect our self-esteem, needs, and desires; directly influencing what comes into our lives. If your thoughts are filled with self-loathing and lack of belief in your own abilities, attracting abundance will be practically impossible. However, if you turn to positive thinking to teach yourself how to be confident and believe you deserve to get what you want, then you can have a life overflowing in abundance.

What is it about attracting abundance that some people seem to get and others don't? In fact, no one is special and everyone can do this. It can work well for you, no matter who you are, as long as you harness your thoughts and ask the universe for guidance. Figure out why you want the things you want, and use meditation and self-reflection to help discover just exactly what that is.

To start attracting abundance, use note cards or a journal to record your daily thoughts. When you catch yourself making negative thoughts, write them down on a note card. Look at what you have written and write down a positive response. For example, writing 'I hate my job.' does not help you focus on your goal of getting a better paying job.

So for example, write something to the effect of, 'I deserve a job that I love and that pays me well.' Make it as detailed as you want, so that you write exactly what you want. For example, you can write down the specific field, the exact salary you want, and the exact position you want. Take a look at these note cards on a regular basis and see yourself in that position, mentally, getting exactly what you want.

Make a box that you can keep your goals in, and put note cards with those goals written on them, pictures that support those positive goals, and anything else in that box that will support your desires. For example, brochures from travel agencies to places you want to go to, pictures of houses you want to own, and so on.

By the way, fantasy is very important when it comes to attracting abundance. In addition, sleeping and dreaming lets our imagination soar and release its creativity. When relaxed, and more open, and we can fantasize to our heart's content without incurring negative thoughts. To use this, you can focus on your thoughts while you're falling asleep, and ask for what you want from the universe.

You can also meditate in front of a picture that shows what you want to achieve, or in front of your box of goals. Take a look in the mirror every day and say something nice about yourself, so that you increase your confidence.

The universe tends to act quickly. Don't be surprised that when you fully believe in the power of attracting abundance previous stumbling blocks and obstacles quickly disappear.

About the Author:

The author Tina Hymas is one of the writers for the popular http://www.abundance-info.com website. You can find out how easy it really is to be successful at manifestation when you visit this site. Change your life forever with a huge FREE collection of Attracting Abundance Success Secrets Audios, Ebooks and Videos.

Goal Setting - What You Need To Know

2009-11-04T02:07:00.000-08:00

By Mike Jones

Goal setting is something that we have been taught since we were young. From grade school all the way through adult life accomplishing our goals is something we strive for. The problem is many times we do not get the job done. It's not because of lack of effort. Many times it's usually the approach we take towards getting what we want. We have some tips to help you reach your desires and define what you want better.

1. Write your goals down. It seems a lot of us will try to just remember what we need to get done and that is great. The truth is when you see it written down you tend to put more value on it. Carry around your written ideas and look at them often so you will never forget them. This will keep you striving to reach them.

2. Make your goals specific. One of the biggest mistakes people make is making them too vague. It is much easier to reach something when you know exactly what you want or must do. Vague suggestions or desires just give you a chance for failure. Be as specific as you can for greater success.

Remember the quote "keep it simple stupid". Well this same quote also applies to goals. Most people make things more complex than they really have to. Keeping things as simple as possible means success will be a lot easier to obtain. Never make things tougher then you have to. Simple always seem to work best and that goes with goals as well.

Having friends and family as a support system around you is a very good idea. Tell them what you want to get done. They can help push you and encourage you. In the beginning this might not seem like a lot, but it will help you out. Sometimes people need a little extra push.

5. Your goals need to make sense as well. Do not make something that is not reasonable. Your goals and desires are reachable, but if you are starting out make it rational. Going overboard will just make it tougher for you to reach your outcome. Know what you're capable of, and do not try to do more than you can.

Goal setting is something that we all need to do sometime in our lives. Many of us will set short term and long term goals. No matter what type you set it is good idea to always go over them now and then. It will help you see how well you are progressing and what changes you may need to make.

About the Author:

Check out the 20 minute goal setting tutorial at about-goal-setting.com. It's one of the most concise goal setting blueprints on the net.

Jeff Genyk - The Warp Speed Offense

2009-11-03T01:50:00.000-08:00

By Jim Johnson

After his Division 1A (FBS) College Football Team Set multiple NCAA and MAC records, Jeff Genyk decided to take a year to invest in career, professional development and family during 2009. In those final two games Genyk's team was injury free enough to implement the "Warp Speed" Offensive system.

Jeff Genyk was unaware that the warp speed offense would become the talk of college football coaches. Some of the notable coaches are Brian Kelly of Cincinnati, and Rich Rodriguez of Michigan, were intrigued by the number of plays that could be run in a game. "An offense that can put up over 50 points in a game and execute over 100 plays garnered the attention of many coaches that run the spread".

Jeff Genyk knows that his time spent time with the Coaches of Cincinnati and Michigan has been a beneficial relationship for all involved. As a college coach, I am always seeking ideas to better my coaching and am always willing to exchange ideas to increase my knowledge and skills as a head coach. The warp speed offense is an fast and fun offensive system and many teams can realize amazing results by implementing it.

This year has ushered in a new page to the career of Jeff Genyk. He recently accepted a position with ESPN as a color analyst for Atlantic Coast Conference football games. With the help of several nationally recognized broadcasters, Jeff was offered the analyst position for ESPN Regional Television and ESPN 360.com. As stated, he is currently broadcasting ACC games and Jeff says: "Working for ESPN has been a great opportunity and I enjoy sharing my coaching perspective with the fans."

As an assistant coach, Genyk helped secure 3 Big Ten Championships during his 12-year stay at Northwestern University. During this time, Genyk worked closely with some of the best and brightest coaches in the country. The lessons learned during these Championship seasons helped form many Genyk's core beliefs as a head football coach.

Likely the biggest impact on Genyk was made by the late Steve Musseau. Steve was the former Idaho football coach and a performance expert. Through Genyk's relationship with Steve and others , Jeff's "Expect to Execute" program was born. Genyk's "Expect to Execute" program is a program that instructs athletes and business professionals how they can operate in their field when they face difficult obstacles in their careers.

"We attempt to improve your belief system by improving focus, self talk, visualization, framing skills and physical presence." The ability to utilize the best from the sports world and improve other professionals is a very rewarding process. The "Expect to Execute" program is presently being used at Medtronic, Inc., General Motors and Michigan High School(s).

Jeff has also introduced a program to help high school age kids develop and advance in their area of interest. The "Potential to Reality" program can be used by high schools to help musicians, actors and athletes get the support they need to advance in their area of interest to the highest levels. Ron Reed, Michigan High School Principal, "Potential to Reality has allowed us to focus our energy as a school and community to ensure our young people are prepared to take advantage of opportunities in the future." "Life is all about how you respond to tough situations," the late Randy Walker's favorite character phrase. Jeff Genyk and his systems are examples of this type of perseverance.

About the Author:

Looking to find more on Jeff Genyk

Learning Yoga Techniques

2009-11-02T00:41:00.000-08:00

By Melvin Murray

Yoga is the most common form of exercise today. It is adopted by millions of folks around the world just for its endless list of health well-beings. Yoga has been practiced by groups of people across all countries and cultures since about 5000 years. Over the ages modern and improved methods are discovered by yogic gurus to be taught to their students. Many yogic gurus have introduced their own techniques of achieving yoga which are just an creativeness on the basic yoga practices. The ultimate aim of introduction of contemporary and newer yoga practices is to achieve the full results from your yoga workout.

If you are new to yoga then you must take the help of a yoga guru who will teach you the proper techniques for undertaking your asanas. This is because any workout which is done in a iniquitous manner will not fail to lead to in any explicit end results but may grow to be destructive as well. Observe sympathetically how the guru is achieving the asanas and track his technique well.

In case you don't want to learn the yoga practices from a yoga guru or attend a yoga course then you can simply search one of the hundreds of websites on yoga to learn the methods and ways of in concert the set of exercises. There are a entire lot of free videos to download as well. The masters in the videos have years of practice in performing yoga practices. Hence you could advantage a lot by viewing these videos.

Don't find whatever on the internet about yoga techniques (a greatly improbable case)? No need to worry at all. You can buy DVDs and VCDs of yoga techniques from a merchant. You can purely tranquility your won copy from the internet and the wholesaler will be more than pleased to deliver it to your doorstep. Do not neglect to ask for a discount while placing your order. Many seller do approve to give you a good discount for the acquisition of DVDs. These DVDs cover all on yoga methods and are a great way to learn yoga practices by yourself. You can view the DVDs once again and again in your yoga course so that you in no way go wrong in your yoga method.

After all the full benefit to be derived from any form of exercise is performing that practise with a proper technique. Proper practices will take along conclusive effect faster.

About the Author:

Want to find out more about Yoga Techniques, then visit Melvin Murray's site on how to choose the best Yoga Techniques Tips for your needs.

Live NOW!

2009-10-21T11:49:00.001-07:00

How often do we find ourselves just going through the motions day after day only to find that a month has passed, a year has passed, a decade has passed without us really living? Today I encourage you to live now, live in this moment.

Often it takes a wake-up call to persuade us to live. It may be a financial disaster, a divorce, the death of a loved one. It may be a terminal diagnosis. Sometimes these, and other, circumstances propel us to really live, to pursue our dreams, to realize them.

Why wait? Today is a good day to begin living, really living. The Bible says, 'This is the day the Lord hath made; let us rejoice and be glad in it." It's easy to really live when you're rejoicing or celebrating.

Celebrate life! See each day as what it is, a gift! Begin the day by breathing in the fresh air, watching the sun rise, listening to birds sing. Savor that first cup or coffee, using that time to reflect, to be thankful, to plan your day. Be purposeful in your thoughts, in your intentions. Dream big and dream often. The glass isn't just half full, it's overflowing!

Each of us only lives once. Let's make this day, now, the best day it can be. Really live it. Live NOW!

Living life,

Jean
www.jeanbaileyrobor.com
http://www.facebook.com/jeanbaileyrobor
http://www.twitter.com/jeanbaileyrobor

Coincidence?

2009-10-13T19:35:00.001-07:00

What are coincidences, really? They are simply the 'stuff' that connects the events of our lives. Many times they are an 'ah-ha!' moment. Other times we think of a coincidence as a twist of fate, a fluke, an accident. I like to think of them as a Divine plan to boost my faith in Something (or Someone) greater than me.

According to Deepak Chopra, when you live your life with an appreciation of coincidences and their meanings, you connect with the underlying field of infinite possibilities. When some circumstance comes into our lives, we should express our gratitude and explore the meaning of it. Then, we should dig deeper and connect with, not what it means, but what it could mean if we allow the possibility of the impossible.

When I choose to be grateful for the coincidences in my life, I find that they are less disruptive. I have a peace about them and about my life's direction. I don't let coincidences lead me, but I allow them to open up another choice, maybe something that I haven't seen or realized was there.

That 'stuff' that connects the events of my life are the same kinds of experiences that happen in yours. The delay to leave home in the morning only to realize if you'd been 'on time' you would have ended up in an auto accident. The 'close call' when you cross the street and saw a car speeding through the crosswalk 'just in time.' That event you choose to attend at the last minute, only to meet a life-long friend there.

I challenge you to express gratitude next time a coincidence comes your way. You may find you're part of a Divine plan, something greater than you could imagine!

Coincidentally yours,
Jean

www.jeanbaileyrobor.com

Steps On How To Successful Give

2009-09-24T01:31:00.000-07:00

By Masami Sato

A new development is revolutionizing many lives in the hamlets of India by bringing brightness where there used to be blackness.

The New York Times published a piece named, "Husk Power for India". Power, which is common in the lives of most in advanced countries, is a rare bonus in far-flung areas of underdeveloped countries. What was once cattle feed is now used to generate power - rice husks.

Growing up in rural Bihar State, Manoj Sinha knew what it was like to sit in the dark. Being an engineer with Intel Corporation he had all the skills to make a life long idea come alive. He led the development of his electricity equipment that generates power from rice husks and other farming waste and now he sells it to villages across India.

Sinha is what could be called a reformative businessman because he feels business is the answer to major social problems. "Business leaders must realise that the world's poor need investments more than handouts," he says, adding, "these are customers, not victims."

The article inspired me to think about giving in a different way leading me to ask myself, "what is the most effective form of giving?" Is it education, commercial activity or disaster relief? There are so many ways to make a difference. One way of giving can seem more effective or sustainable than other ways depending on the way it is expressed, looked at or implemented.

I then came to delineate there were eight segments to giving as a way to see this. So, let me chart out the eight differences; which in effect are often 'stages' of giving as well.

Stage one: Urgency - rescuing and supporting others who are struck by natural disaster, epidemic diseases or other uncontrollable circumstances.

Stage two: Relief - providing relief from long-standing hunger, poverty, diseases, handicaps or discrimination which otherwise would continue or worsened because of the lack of information, education or resources.

Stage three: Remedying and defense - internally, bodily and psychologically. Many people carry injuries that may be invisible but could be severely confining their lives. Giving the remedy to release the buried trauma creates better facilities for them while giving proper protection gives them a sense of defense.

Stage four: Training - giving better training, knowledge and skill instruction to create empowered and practical solutions to resource creation while encouraging people to identify their singular talent to survive.

Stage five: Creative investment - lending a hand, money or resources to those who have great potential to make a difference. This gets leveraged many times as the resources increase and passed on to many others who again make more out of the opportunities given.

Stage six: Sustainability - working together involving the people in the local environment, creating sustainable community - environmentally and socially.

Stage seven: Empowerment - sanctioning and influencing the people to set free their true capability and drive to make a difference. In this group of offering, the aim of offering changes from 'giving to those who are in need' to 'giving people an opening to give to others' and to the whole group.

Stage eight: Loving - just doing whatever we feel to do to love and care for others. No strategy or expected outcome exists in this stage of giving. 'Giving' does not even exist here in the traditional sense of the word, as there is no sense of possession or judgment or desire to change anything. This is where we do not even have to think about anything, we give as a part of our own joyful experience.

What we also find is that at each of these eight stages of giving there are different things that the giver receives.

One: Sense of relationship

Two: Sense of contentment

Three: respite from hurt (our own)

Four: Gratitude for our own knowledge, skills and circumstances

Five: Long-term sense of commitment and contentment for our own life

Six: Improved atmosphere for our own life and for the lives of all those we value and cherish

Seven: Soul fulfilling inspiration and dedication to our own purpose

Eight: Love

Sharing has many stages and sensations based upon the donor and getter. And the 'phases' do not detail which one is of more importance than the other. All are mandatory.

I was lucky to have an experience early in 2008 while journeying with a group of devoted entrepreneurs across India to see how we could be more productive in our helping. I was particularly happy to have one outstanding encounter that led me to think about what 'actual giving' really meant.

We were travelling in a small town one day. Four of us had just called a taxi to take us to another nearby town. We dealt with the driver cautiously as our hotel staff had forewarned us about the possible swindle when they see that we were not local.

We halted briefly in front of the local train station for a short recess on the way. While the others went to use the restroom, I tried to chat with our taxi driver standing near his vehicle. With his limited knowledge of English and a wonderful smile that showed his blackened front teeth, he told me that he had a house on the suburbs of the town and he had a sweet wife and two lovely kids who went to the local school - I felt a strong bonding with him.

I congratulated him on having such a loving family and told him that I also had two children similar ages to his. When the others returned he spontaneously invited us to come to his house for lunch. I thought it was just a friendly courtesy he wanted to show at first. However, after dropping us off in the town centre, he insisted that he would wait for us until we finished our exploration in town. And he did. I was actually quite surprised to see him still waiting at the side of the road standing next to his taxi more than hour later. We jumped back into the taxi and he zoomed off up the road to where his family lived.

When we arrived we were actually quite shocked to see how he was living. It was almost like the same condition (if not worse) to the lifestyle of people living in slums we had visited previously. From the nice new taxi he was driving, who could have imagined

As he drove into the narrow unsealed street between small houses that were made with roughcast concrete blocks and mud painted walls, we almost regretted about saying yes to his invite. For a brief moment I felt pangs of guilt. "How could I go to this man's home who didn't seem to have anything and I didn't even bring any food or gifts for his family", I thought.

As we got into his house, we saw a small pot and a stove on the mud floor. His shy sweet wife smiled and blushed at the sight of visitors and vanished into the cupboard sized storeroom of the house. As I looked around, I saw the man's neighbours giving the woman a few cups over the crumbling concrete walls. They simply didn't have enough cups in their house. There was just a single small room that had a lone cot and an old galvanised trunk adjacent to it.

The driver hastily drew out three hand-woven mats from the trunk and spread them out on whatever little space there was on the mud floor and put one on the bed.

Hot cups of tea came pretty fast and so did some snacks. His kids as well as all the little ones in the neighbourhood came to see us and stood around near the door. All six of us were totally wedged into the small room. I asked him with surprise where all his children slept. I thought they might be having another space somewhere. To my utter surprise, he pointed the chest and happily said that it was their sleeping space.

He cheerfully informed us that he was a dancing expert of the area and pointed at the medals displayed on the recess above his bed. Bent on showing us his dancing skills he at once ran outside. From some place music started coming into the tiny room. He has no arrangement for music in the house, it was flowing in from outside. I wondered where it came from till I saw him bringing his taxi in reverse to the back wall of his house with the doors open and music flowing in from the high volume car radio!

The time moved fast (with his dancing and the many more cups of tea that followed) and very soon it was time to thank them for their great warmth and courtesy and make our move. As we got ready to leave and express our gratitude to him and his wife, he pulled out the best of all the rugs he had, and just gave it to us. It was one of the very few things he owned. It was impossible to believe that he was offering it to us.

We all courteously begged off his gift and moved out waving goodbye to all the people waving back at us. We got real baffled about the whole affair. Should we have paid them something as they surely had only too little money? Should we have consented to take the cherished gift he made us?

As I was thinking about this soul-lifting happening a few days afterwards, I was wondering about refusing his gift. He looked quite dejected that we didn't agree to take the gift. It wasn't only the fact of declining the gift that crossed my mind.

I realised that the sense of discomfort I felt was actually coming from perceiving him as less fortunate. I was thinking that I couldn't possibly take anything from someone who had so little.

But did he really have nothing much? Maybe he had much more - many more.

Maybe the perfect gift we could have given him then was to accept his gift in total surrender and gratefulness.

All actions of gifting and getting are essential for us to fill our world with plenty and contentment equally for both giver and getter. We can begin doing this instead of assessing and defending one over the other. The perfect act of gifting and getting needs no further clarification.

Manoj Sinha's words resound in my mind once again, "these are customers, not victims." I can visualise the eager faces of the village people who are now thrilled to have current in their hamlets and their little ones who now can now read and write and learn even at night.

About the Author:

Discover more about how Buy1GIVE1 (BOGO) can transform your business using Cause Marketing.

6 Ways To Break Out Of Prison

2009-09-18T04:16:00.000-07:00

By Ayo Olaniyan

Did I get your attention? A Prison is a place of physical confinement and restriction to various levels of personal freedom. The word prison captures the effects of experiencing low self esteem which are isolation, little or no self worth, frustration, depression

Low Self Esteem refers to the perception of an individual, viewing himself as inadequate, unworthy, unlovable, and/or incompetent

You become IMPRISONED with the feelings of insecurity, take fewer risks, communicate less and this restricts various opportunities available for your personal growth or development.

There was an article on the BBC website dated the 9th of July 2009 stating Self Help Makes You Feel Worse.I felt a need to blog on this, attempting to highlight low self esteem symptoms, suggest ways in which we can handle it, inorder to promote our personal development. Its not about relying heavily on positive affirmations, statements, mantras etc alone, but working out an approach to building self confidence over a certain period.

Low self eteem signs are as follows:

Feeling that you're not good enough - even if you are. A decreased level of self confidence associated with putting yourself down all the time. The feeling of being overwhelmed by the purpose of life. The doubts of making any personal achievement and being too scared to try out new things to enhance your personal development. Feeling uncomfortable with your looks - too fat, too slim, too short, too tall. Always worrying about getting even with people. Always being the victim, blaming others for your problems. Social withdrawal. Being unnecessarily fearful and concerned over what people think or imagine about you. The feeling of Self neglect.

The following tips can help you break out from The Low Self Esteem Prison:

Do activities you love: Your talents, abilities should be maximized to their optimal level in order to achieve purpose and direction for your life. When you identify and engage in these areas with purpose, you earn the self-esteem that you feel you deserve

Address your weaknesses. Our weaknesses tend to box us into a corner, or for the purpose of this topic IMPRISON us. Be rational in laying out on the table various aspects of your life. Find the perfect motivation for changing these aspects in your life and dont expect a sudden miracle. Building self-esteem needs purpose and the need to accept changes in your life. Know that patience is a virtue, go slow but sure. Your habits will not change overnight. Rejoice when you make a tiny progressive change using that as a stimulus to propel further quests for personal growth and development.

Acknowledge your positive qualities Believe in yourself. Feel good about what you have achieved so far, your ability to face the future with confidence and purpose. Dont be too hard on yourself. This is a negative trait which over time, develops into low self esteem. Stop flogging yourself over mistakes over the past. Learn from your experiences and avoid comparing yourself to other people

Rest on your laurels for every victory gained. Take pleasure in, the feeling of euphoria for being able to surpass lifes challenges

Who you associate with influences your thoughts, actions and behaviour. Negative people tend to downplay your ideas, walk over you, patronize you etc. This significantly lowers your self esteem.

Positive compliments and constructive criticisms (this shouldnt be likened to negative talks about your person) shouldnt be ignored at all. When you put yourself in a position of not being teachable or unworthy praises for work done, or good character possessed, it reflects low self esteem.

Being realistic about your goals will enable you formulate specific steps on how to achieve that purpose.

Some ideas

Sit down and examine yourself.

Make a list of strengths.

List your goals and be sure to create milestones going there.

Break down your goals

Maintain optimism. Plan carefully and be firm in what you want to achieve.

Make a time frame of what you hope to achieve in a specific period of time.

Think about how people can aid in achieving your goals

People who experience low self esteem feel imprisoned but there is a likelihood of the prison doors being wide open without anyone imposing their stay in there.

Take action today to deal with low self esteem.

Are you ready to break out of prison?

It will be interesting to have your comments

About the Author:

Ayo Olaniyan is a certified Unitive Life Coach and Counsellor. He is a member of the European Mentoring and Coaching Council, an accredited professional counsellor with the Counselling Society.You can visit the website Discovering Purpose to read or subscribe to personal development articles. Creating a purpose driven life through personal development

Out-of-Nowhere Blessings

2009-09-16T13:39:00.001-07:00

Blessings come in all shapes and sizes and ways. And some of the best blessings are the unexpected ones, the ones that come out of nowhere. Today I was unexpectedly blessed. I happened to be walking to a local Subway for lunch and passed an older gentleman on the street. His expression indicated he recognized me. I quickly scanned my memory but could not place him. Just as I was about to pass, he asked me if I attended a certain church in the area, which I do. As some churchgoers do, I regularly sit in the same section Sunday after Sunday. He does the same, just a few rows behind me.

On this day, he became a blessing to me. We chatted as we both walked to Subway, through the line, and—although I protested—he picked up the tab. I had planned to take my meal back to the office but somehow I found myself asking if he'd like to lunch with me. His face brightened up and we chose a nearby table.

Throughout the course of lunch, we talked about church, families, and blessings. He indicated how he had lived most of his life on a self-destructive course, but had now changed direction and found peace. He told of how some family relationships had been healed, of how he could now be a blessing to others.

As we went our separate ways, he mentioned how much he had enjoyed our impromptu lunch and that I had been a blessing to him. Today, this gentleman was an unexpected blessing to me. His act of kindness reminded me, that I too, can be an unexpected, out-of-nowhere blessing to others.

Be blessed!
Jean

www.jeanbaileyrobor.com
http://www.facebook.com/jeanbaileyrobor

Blessings in Disguise

2009-08-23T16:26:00.001-07:00

I remember as I was growing up my mom used to use the phrase, 'blessing in disguise'. She was referring to those circumstances that we often find ourselves in that, at first, feel like a negative situation, but end up as a positive. Have you ever had a blessing in disguise?

Just this week, I had my very first ear infection. Let me just say, for those of you who have never experienced this, it certainly didn't feel like a blessing. However, it prompted me to slow down, take care of myself a bit, and pull away from the rat race for a short time. A blessing of self-care in disguise.

Another instance happened a few years ago. My son could no longer afford the private university he was attending unless he became very deep in debt. He weighed his options and began looking for alternatives. He wisely chose to enroll in a state-sponsored school. Two years later, at college, he met the woman he'll marry next year, with a lot less college load debt than he would have had. Their love for each other proves to me that this was another blessing in disguise.

This prompts me to question those (seemingly) bad things that come into my life. If I'm late going out the door and, on my way, see that there's been an accident on the highway, I often wonder…if I had been on time, would I have been involved in that accident? I've had instances where I did not get a position I applied for and years later the company has closed its doors. For me, that may have been a blessing in disguise.

As life goes on, I intend for positive circumstances. I embrace changes and look closely for the good that can come from those less-than-perfect circumstances I do find myself in. How do you see your circumstances? Could they simply be blessings in disguise?

Many blessings,
Jean
www.jeanbaileyrobor.com
http://www.facebook.com/jeanbaileyrobor

Dreams Can Tell You A Large Amount About Yourself

2009-08-23T00:36:00.000-07:00

By Rachel B. Michaels

There are numerous people, who do not think about our dreams as an element of our own growth. They can inform us what we need, yearn for or what we must modify in our lives to become "whole" people.

We can gather a good deal from our dreams, use them in of our own development and get answers to quite a few the concerns that on occasion comes up in life.

- Note down the dream at once " all you recollect as meticulous as feasible. As well as feelings and moods.

- Write a little on what happened the day before, and what concerns you at the moment.

- Look at the "set" - which feelings does it reflect. See if there is a situation in your every day life now that have a comparable feeling.

- Are there dispositions, emotions and passion you recognize from your life at present? Sensations connected with the "plot" may give you a clue of what situation relates to the dream.

- Look at people in the dream. Start by finding 3-5 descriptive adjectives " what they are like - properties - by individuals. Note them down.

- Associate on animals, things and locations in the dream - use your own "feelings" prior to using symbol explanations. Note them down one at a time.

- All parts of the dream are sides of yourself. It is you - not them, dream interpretation is about. Try out the personal qualities to find the rest day - the situation is the dream originated. There were multiple pages of your activity the day before, than you were fully aware of?

- Pay attention to the sensations and reactions you feel when you tell about the dream. Listen also to the body. Listen more to your feelings, your heart than to your reason and your head.

- Dont be uneasy or ashamed of your dreams. The unconscious speaks in capital letters. Death and devastation may be the start of something new, and sexuality proves that you integrate facets of yourself.

- Remember to think positively " consider the good symbols for you as a side of yourself. Feel that you can improve them yourself with power from your own unconscious mind. Bear in mind that the dream may show you something you had not considered before - a a lending hand from you to you. It helps you to make you more complete - not to debase or bug you.

- Pay attention to friends ideas and associations. Remember though, that you might be inspired, but only you can assess what your dream is about.

Keep on dreaming

About the Author:

Keen psychics offers the most accurate free physic reading available - find out what your dreams are telling you.

5 Tough Questions for Atheists

2009-08-15T01:28:00.000-07:00

By Rich Bordner

"If God exists,why is there so much evil?"

"Why are so many Christians hypocrites?"

"Why isn't there more evidence? Why is God so hidden?"

If you are a Christian who is vocal about your faith, you've probably been asked these questions. If you are an atheist, agnostic, or skeptic, you've probably been on the other side of those questions. It is common for religious believers to be in the hotseat when it comes to intellectually justifying their beliefs, but some don't recognize that non-believers also have a fair share of 'splainin to do.

Rest assured, the questions above have good answers, but they shouldn't be the only focus; the skeptic should be in the hotseat too:

1) Why is there something rather than nothing?

The "big bang" has a wealth of scientific evidence confirming it. Belief in the "big bang" requires one to believe that the universe began a finite time ago. Not only is there scientific evidence confirming the big bang, but there are also a number of philosophical reasons for the beginning of the universe (as opposed to a universe that's always existed). But this runs smack dab into atheism--out of nothing, nothing comes. Things don't just pop into existence uncaused. Here we have a limited number of possibilities: either something outside the material universe caused it, or it all came from nothing. Which is more reasonable?

2) What do you mean by something being "good"?

This goes much deeper than the common atheist rallying cry: "you can be good without God." If the material world is all that exists, then the atheist and believer alike might *think* they are acting good, but "good" is without robust meaning. All that exists are preferences, pragmatics, and the herd morality. Upon what basis do you say racism or homophobia is wrong? Not wrong "for you," but wrong, period. What would you say to someone who comes from another culture who holds those things to be good? Is *anything* wrong universally (rape? murder? judging?), and if so, what are you prepared to do to enforce that morality? Why should someone be concerned, on atheism, about obeying the herd morality and following our evolutionary past, especially when he can get away with it and benefit from it personally?

3) Inanimate matter stays that way no matter how complicated the arrangement. Without an immaterial mind, how can consciousness emerge from pure material?

Causally or correlatively linking a brain state to a mental state is not sufficient. You cannot reduce the mental to the physical because the former states possess properties the latter do not. For instance, mental states are first person, whereas brain states are third person.

4) If the physical world is all there is, is there free will?

5) The last one comes from another blogger: if Christ appeared to you and said that He really rose from the dead and is God, how would you respond? Witnesses and tests confirm you weren't dreaming--it was really God! What's next?

Their answer will tell you a lot about the true state of their heart. Intent is prior to content: some, using the supposed lack of evidence as a red herring, won't believe even if God appeared to them. The evidence is not the problem.

The next time you talk about beliefs with an atheist or agnostic, ask them some of the questions above. The answers you get might surprise you.

About the Author:

Rich Bordner is a teacher in California who earned his B.A in English an Philosophy from Ohio State University in 2002. He blogs about philosophy, religion, spirituality, and politics at The Pugnacious Irishman and is currently obtaining an M.A in Philosophy from Biola University. If this article sparked your interest, or if you want to discuss philosophy, politics, or spirituality, stop on by!

The Benefits Of Active Listening For Couples.

2009-08-14T01:24:00.000-07:00

By David Woodward

Every couple, at some times, have relationship strains. There is no getting away from that plain piece of truth. As we recognise that the 'perfect couple' doesn't exist, we can relax and then try and enhance/make better/repair our relationship with our own partner.

One key to a good relationship is what is known as "Active Listening". It is based on the premise that, "Communication is not over until both parties feel understood". Understood, is the key word here.

What is not being said here, is that communication is over when both parties agree with each other. Most times this will not happen. No. We are saying that communication can be tremendously enhanced when both parties feel that the other understands them. Even if "agreeing to disagree" is the end product.

How is this 'active listening' achieved? It is done through each partner reflecting back to the other what they have heard being said - or what they have perceived the other to have said.

What is reflected back is the facts and feelings in what is being said. After these have been reflected back, the original speaker can then respond by 'tweaking' what has been reflected back to make sure that the original listener really has grasped the facts and feelings (or content and emotions) of what has been communicated.

It is worth remembering in all of this that the point of the exercise is not to get the listener necessarily agreeing with the speaker. Who knows if this will ever happen! The point of the exercise is to get the speaker to the place where they feel they have been understood correctly by the listener. Everyone knows what it feels like when we finally think that someone understands us!

Here's an example. Denise and Jim have disagreed about items in the laundry. Denise: "I'm so frustrated and angry that you just peel your socks off and put them in the laundry without unravelling them. I end up having to do it. I'm so cross as I keep on telling you and it seems to make absolutely no difference whatsoever."

Jim: "You're saying that you're really upset and angry with me for not unravelling my socks?" Denise: "That's right. And also that I then end up having to do it." Jim: "And that you get fed up because you then end up doing it if I don't." Denise: "Yes, that's right. I do it in the end."

As this example shows, the end result of active listening (which is the desired effect) is that Denise feels that she is understood. Jim may not think she is right (and may selfishly not even unravel his socks again) but at least Denise feels understood - that Jim has heard her and knows how she feels about the situation.

If active listening is reciprocated by the other partner too, then obviously a good two-way means of communication has been established. Both parties will feel understood. That is the ideal. And then the concept that communication is not over until both parties feel that they are understood has been successfully achieved.

Note also the use of "I" messages (rather than "You" accusations) where Denise recognises and 'owns' that she feels angry, frustrated, cross and upset (regardless what Jim - or anybody else - has done to cause that). An "I" message is an acknowledgment that ultimately we have to be responsible for our own feelings and actions, regardless what anyone else has done to precipitate them.

If Denise had accused Jim with a "You" message such as, "You make me so flaming angry because you never unravel your socks," the chances are that Jim would have got defensive. Would any of us behave different when accused like this? Almost certainly the response would be aggressive and the argument would then escalate.

Does all of this stuff about 'active listening' and "I" messages sound a load of theoretical claptrap? Then try it! Practice using 'active listening' with your partner by reflecting back to them the facts and feelings of what they are saying. it is not about being a parrot. It is about making sure that your partner feels understood because you have reflected back to them the content and emotions of what they are saying and feeling.

And if things go wrong and an argument breaks out? It is not too late to use 'active listening' and "I" messages after the event. When things have cooled down it is possible to recover ground, pick up the pieces and make amends. Better late than never - and it really will make a difference if your partner feels understood.

So enjoy. And practice. And practice again. And let some of the strain, anger and tension in your relationship diminish. And after you have used it with your partner, then practice on the kids, the boss, the mother-in-law, the next door neighbour - in fact anyone whom you'd like to improve communication with!

About the Author:

This article was written by David Woodward, a qualified, experienced counsellor in Kettering, Northants.UK. He provides marriage counselling in Kettering, and gives a free initial consultation to help people assess if counselling with him could be a good way forward for them. David is active in the local community, and donates one day a week of his time to voluntary work.

3 Steps to the Meaning of Life

2009-08-05T01:37:00.000-07:00

By Jennifer Pereira, RD, LD, CSCS

Whether you realize it or not, we are all searching for the meaning of life. You are driving down the road, and in a panic you think: why am I here? Good question...if you never asked, you would be dying without ever having lived. To begin to realize the meaning of life for yourself, start with these three steps:

1: Working through your past

You may think you do not need to work on your past, but it is necessary for healing. While not always easy, it is very important work. This is the only way you can be free of anxiety and depression that may have plagued you throughout life. You can do this on your own with reading and journaling, but you may see more progress with therapy. It is common to have to look around before you find the right person to help you.

Step 2: Who are you?

It can be difficult to find yourself when you've lived with many masks. You must be very aware in order to find out who you really are. What do you enjoy or dispise, and why do you feel this way? Having a strange reaction, try to figure out why. Think from the perspective of yourself as a child. Remember what it is that used excited you? It is impossible to really live in this world if you are feeling lost within yourself.

3rd Step: Aligning with yourself

Here is where the real work begins...creating the life you really want. It is not going to be easy. You might have been doing some things for others, and they may really resist your changes. It is important for you to be true to yourself, and this requires you to do what you want. And have what you want.

And being what you want to be being. Be aware of inconsistencies and start changing. You have to make these changes may be difficult, but the time to do it is now.

There are many perspectives on the meaning of life. Obviously, the most important aspect of life is meant to be lived fully. It is not enough to just moved through the world in a trance. You cannot simply exist. You must be plugged into life so you not reach the end of it and find you were dead all along.

About the Author:

About the author: Jennifer Pereira, RD, CSCS, is on a mission to push others to seize the day. Want to find yourself?

Guide To Influencing Others

2009-07-27T05:19:00.000-07:00

By Greg Williams

Here are a list of ten tips I have to offer you that you can use to influence and motivate people under you to work better and do their best to strive for higher positions and gaining what they want from life.

You should try to learn about things that motivate people. Ask them questions about it and carefully listen to them when they answer. Their way of talking and answering would assure you of the stuff important to them for their personal motivation.

Start encouraging people to make notes of their personal drivers and motivators. Ask them about the certain situations that happened in their life that made them motivated or de-motivated. Also ask them about the factors that set them up or set them down. This would help you learn about them more.

You should also make sure that you don't make people dependent on you for their motivation, as that would be disastrous for them incase you are not there sometimes. Make sure that you reward personal motivations, so everybody would be encouraged to develop that.

You should also run a knowledge and skill program in which you set up goals for new comers and tell them about the importance of personal motivation.

You should introduce them to all the workers of your workplace, as lack of knowledge and skills can also prove to be a great drop in motivation.

You should be the one most knowledgeable about the ways to develop motivation and all the theories about it. This will also help you solve the cases about lack of motivation in the office and so people would look up to them and share their problems when they can't achieve something.

Personal observation is also important. Check to see what motivates people and what doesn't. Use this observation in future to induce motivation into people when they are de-motivated.

Your personal motivation is also really necessary in this regard. People would look up to you as their role model, and if you end up being the most de-motivated on the team while you are giving them lessons about motivation, there wouldn't be any effect on them

When you recruit more people into the team, make sure that their abilities and characteristics help the situation at hand. People would take motivation from their competition and try to work better than them, so this would result in an over-all improvement in work quality from the entire team.

Make everyone feel at home. Make everyone feel important and needed, so they don't see themselves as worthless or not befitting into the organization. This is very important to increase their motivation levels.

Have regular checks in your team and make sure that each one of them fit their role and is doing a good job to ensure that they are performing at the best of their ability and are equally motivated to keep the organization running smoothly and without flaws.

About the Author:

Check us out to find out about motivation.

A Nod, A Smile & Other Warm Fuzzies

2009-07-12T19:11:00.001-07:00

Doesn't it feel good when you lock eyes with someone on the street and they offer you a smile? For no reason at all, they smile, giving you an unearned gift, a gift without strings attached. Think about that the next time you meet someone's gaze. Just smile. A simple smile from you might evoke a smile from them. Either way, it'll make you feel good because who can feel poorly while smiling? No one.

A slight nod of the head can evoke a warm feeling also. While not as inviting as a smile, a nod is an acknowledgement, a softer greeting, a communication between we humans as we journey through this life.

What are some other things, unexpected things, that make your step a little lighter and your smile a little brighter? How about a hug? No amount of money can buy anything as satisfying as the hug of a close friend. There's something so genuine, so giving when one human being wraps her arms snugly around a close friend and draws her in. What about the first time you hear the words 'I love you' from that special someone? Such an experience can make the heart speed up.

These are several ways that we can get warm fuzzy feelings from others. Just as important is finding ways to provide warm fuzzies for others and ourselves. Taking care of ourselves enables us to take better care of others. I have a friend who is very careful with what types of media and news she exposes herself to. She fills her mind with joyful, positive images and in doing so, affects a positive attitude.

What can you do today to enjoy or provoke that positive attitude or warm fuzzy?

Positively,
Jean
www.jeanbaileyrobor.com
http://www.facebook.com/jeanbaileyrobor