Have you ever "gone along with the crowd" so that you wouldn't be left out? Have you ever agreed with a point of view simply in order to avoid a "disagreement"? I know I have. And I'm sure we've all heard about corporate "yes men" who agree in order to get ahead. They do what they perceive to be in their best interest at the time. Is there anything wrong with having done any of these things? What if no one was hurt, or there was no harm done. What if it didn't involve any illegality? Does the lack of any injury make any of these situations OK?

    I know, and understand, that some of these things can be very situational, and that there may not necessarily be one hard, fast answer to such generalizations. Especially given these examples. But suppose that having agreed to something that you didn't really agree with, you felt less than genuine. Does that affect your overall happiness in life? Does it become easier to do the next time? Do you start to "go along to get along"?

    When I was at home with my three brothers, my mother would fry up a whole chicken on certain occasions, and I've got to tell you it was good fried chicken. Anyway, when it came time to eat, my father, rightly so, got first pick as to the piece he wanted, and then the platter was passed around the table. Everyone then picked his or her favorite piece. Mine was the neck. It wasn't really, but somehow it became my favorite piece. Years later I told my Mother I hated the neck, and she asked me why I didn't say so. That was a very good question. There was certainly plenty to go around.

    Being the tallest and biggest of my brothers at the time, I was always the "dumb" kid who was "all feet and no brains." I never did anything to dispel that image; it was easier to allow that perception to exist - at least at the time. My point is that we sometimes do, or say, or allow things simply because it's easier than the alternative, or at least we think it is. We don't want to rock the boat or we simply want to please someone else.

    So what's missing here? Authenticity. I was not being my real, genuine self. I had leased out the real estate of my being to this other me. I had abdicated my real being. Have you ever done anything like this? Do you still do it on occasion? Do you feel at times you are living in someone else's body? This may be a reason to desire a transformation in your life, but how do you go about it?

    You need first to be completely honest with yourself. Who are you? What do you believe in? On a scale of one to ten how happy are you? Conduct a simple survey of your life, and decide what it is that you truly want. We are all created by God and he didn't make a mistake with you or me. So the first step is to learn to like who you are, warts and all. He loves you just as you are, why can't you. The next step is to build your integrity. I'm not implying that you may not be honest, but you have to decide that in everything, especially with yourself, that your integrity will be unshaken.

    Finally, get rid of fear as an operant in your life. You can't, won't, and shouldn't do things simply to please others or to have them like you. Remember, you're already likeable, and you have plenty of talent, and are a unique creation unlike anyone else. So, be the real deal, and change your life!