Desire

   I took the day off yesterday in part to reflect on what I've written on transformation so far, but also to decide on a course to continue to some conclusion. With that said I'd like to back up a little bit. There needs to be a starting point to this whole process, and I think I kind of jumped over that. The question I left open I think is what leads one to transformations in his or her life.

    The first, and most obvious, is the events of our lives. Something occurs that spontaneously results in some change in our way of being. I spoke of them in the addendum to part one. They are generally traumatic, or difficult events that occur to us, but they can also be joyous happy events, as in the birth of a child. In either case they may cause some fundamental change in our way of being. Another more gradual agent for change is desire.

    I spoke in Part Two about passion, and the two are related. Desire though is a more subtle feeling. It is more of a longing and hoping for some particular outcome or thing. One may in fact result form the other. Let me explain:

    When Billy died, I experienced one of those fundamental, traumatic transformations. I gained some realization of the fragility and impermanence of life. Who could conceive of their child dieing? However, as a result of that, I experienced a profound depression that seemed bottomless and unfathomable. This led to a pronounced increase in my intake of alcohol, and therefore increased depression. I reached the point where I didn't feel I could function any longer.

    Here is where the desire came in. I longed and hoped for some change that would alleviate at least some measure of what I was feeling. I desired a change. This led to my involvement with a group focused on substance abuse, a lessened dependence on alcohol, a decrease in my depression, and ultimately, a real transformation in my life as a whole. I found a means to start healing.

Wisdom

    When I was much younger than I am today, one of the things I used to pray to God for was wisdom. This started for me when I was about 13 or 14. At that point in my life, as I am sure is the case for many teenagers, I felt that my father, at the very least, was not a wise man. That is not to say he wasn't intelligent but that he didn't impart to me some of the things I thought that he ought to. He wasn't a loving person, and certainly wasn't an inspiration to me. He didn't strive to teach me anything except at the expense of my pride, or with a slap, or demeaning remark. I wanted to be nothing like him at all.

    So what exactly was this thing "Wisdom" that I prayed to God for? Wikipedia defines wisdom as "having knowledge, understanding, experience, and intuitive understanding, along with the capacity to apply those qualities." So being intelligent is not necessarily synonymous with having wisdom. I wanted to see to the core of things, and use my intelligence, with compassion, for some larger purpose. Wisdom adds to ones character, in that it has the capacity to enable one to inspire others, and adds meaning to ones life. The keys, I think, are the intuitive understanding and capacity to apply that understanding.

    So how do you become wise; how do you acquire wisdom? First let me warn you that this is a lifelong effort. You don't do one thing or another and wake up the next morning having attained wisdom. With that in mind, you have to seek it out; you have to become a life-long student. This learning includes not only the search for external knowledge, but also knowledge of oneself. Socrates said, "An unexamined life is not worth living."    

    "Wisdom is supreme, therefore get wisdom.  Though it cost all get understanding."  - Proverbs 4:7 I hope that on your journey through this life that you realize much joy and peace. I firmly believe that some of the aspects of transformation can help in that realization. Always look to increase not only your "intelligence", but also your capacity to love, and your desire to be better today than you were yesterday.