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Have you ever been in a hurry to get somewhere, acquire something, or
have some result? It's frustrating to have to wait when you have some
desire. I mentioned that I have three brothers. What I didn't note was that
there are some 8 or so years between us two older boys and the younger
brothers. I spent a good deal of my younger days as the youngest boy. My
older brother (by one year) got to go to school first; acted in a school
play first; graduated first, and so on. We were also best friends, so his
achieving all of these firsts made me not just a little jealous at times. My
mother didn't help by telling me "Be patient, your turn will come."
I didn't want to wait..I wanted it now!! I couldn't wait to grow up.
Then I could make my own decisions and do what I wanted when I wanted. I
couldn't wait to leave home, and then I would be free of my father and his
abusive ways. The day I turned 18 I enlisted in the army...my brother had
already done so as well, for many of the same reasons. This was disastrous
for me. I wasn't emotionally prepared for going from one regimented
environment into another. My illustrious military career was over in 3
months as I was discharged for an "incompatibility" because of my failure to
adjust to military life - I simply wasn't going to be told what to do.
Once out on my own back home, I met a girl; fell in "love", and decided
I had to get married. This is what you were "supposed" to do, and I wasn't
going to wait. After 10 years, and becoming the father of two boys (again
because that's is what I wanted) my wife divorced me. I was still trying to
live as if I was single, and that doesn't work. So many things that I did because I wasn't going to wait - I wanted it
and I wanted it now. So many things that turned out badly for me and worse
for others. I was truly blessed to meet my wife Faith. Now here's a person
with patience! I didn't change overnight, but some of the changes that I
have been able to accomplish are a direct result of her patience and love
for me. I still want certain things, or want to get to somewhere now, but
these desires are more tempered by the desire to have them be truly worth
the "getting". It's a shame that sometimes the lessons that we learn cost us so dearly,
and that we don't somehow learn them sooner. We may not get to choose some
of the lessons that we are challenged with, but I'm convinced that there is
a reason; some plan behind them, and that we are better for them. I guess my
mother was right - I should have been patient - my turn did come. |
