Image Enhancement and Lifestyle

Developing the Success Mindset

noreply@blogger.com (The White Dove Partnership) — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 10:05:00 +0000

It's always a good idea to learn how to develop the success mindset and make yourself a much more valuable asset to your employer. The truth is, if you produce more value than your cost, you'll be less likely to be let go.

There are certain things you can do beyond just doing your own job really well. While you should remain friendly, motivated and hard working, there are specific actions that will impress your employer.

Try some of these value-enhancing actions:

1. Find a Way to Increase Profits. Even if you weren't specifically assigned the task, keep an open mind and brainstorm ways that the company can work more efficiently. Perhaps you could bring an idea to your manager's attention that will boost sales or reduce costs. Your boss will remember your creative thinking and appreciate that you took the initiative.

2. Be Willing to Cross-Train. No matter what your job is, there are ways that you can learn new things in different areas. You should show interest and actively learn the ins and outs of other jobs in completely different departments. This way your employer will know that you have a deeper understanding of the business, which could lead to bigger or better opportunities.

3. Sharpen Your Skills. Spend time to delve deeper into your current skill set. Chances are that things are not as mundane as you might think. Keep your mind open to developing your skills in a different or better way.

• For example, if you work in online advertising, continue to search for different ways you can advertise or different networks to display your advertising. You may end up greatly improving the company's return on investment by thinking outside of the box, instead of going with what has worked in the past.

4. Take on Additional Responsibilities. When you take on additional responsibilities, you add value to your position within the company. While you may not be issued a different title, your employer will see just how valuable you are. If cutbacks need to be made, you'd be less likely to go than someone with fewer responsibilities.

5. Work on Co-Worker Relationships. While the people you work with don't have to become your best friends, it's important to maintain a certain level of camaraderie. Try making small talk occasionally with your co-workers and bosses on breaks or during lunches. This will help your employer remember that you mesh well with everyone in the company.

6. Take Classes. While you may already have a degree or diploma in a subject that pertains to your current job, it won't hurt to keep improving yourself by expanding your education. Remember, it's not required to go back to school, but if you have the time and resources available it could be a good idea. More and more classes are available over the internet too, which is great for people who already work to fit their classes into their existing schedules.

While you don't have to implement all strategies at once, it's a good idea to think about doing the one's that will work for you. You may even discover that your job satisfaction increases. This becomes a win-win situation to the benefit of all!

Show Some Love.And Don't Be Stingy!

noreply@blogger.com (The White Dove Partnership) — Mon, 20 Apr 2009 13:17:00 +0000

One of the best ways to stretch yourself and improve your personal image is
to go the extra mile and show some love. This expression "show some love"
means to get up and put the phrase "I LOVE YOU" into action. Give more than
you expect to receive in return.give not expecting anything in return. Help
yourself and help your community by showing some love - generously. What
kind of love is this?

"In ordinary use, love usually refers to interpersonal love. Interpersonal
love is love between human beings, and is more sympathetic than the notion
of very much liking for another. Although feelings are usually reciprocal,
there can also be unrequited love. Interpersonal love is usually found in an
interpersonal relationship, such as between family members, friends, and
couples. However, people often express love for other people outside of
these relationships through compassionate outreach and volunteering." -
Vadim Kotelnikov

That's what I'm talking about! Interpersonal love! There's a lot of pain
and stress in our midst - from the white House to the poor house; from the
mansion to the shanty, from the streets of gold to the bumpy, dumpy dirt
roads. We as a people will only survive today's challenges by obeying the
commandment to "Love thy neighbor as thyself." Our families, our
neighborhoods, work environments and nations will not have peace and
stability until we end our selfishness and show some love. The attributes
of love are powerful.

4Love endures long and is patient and kind; love never is envious nor boils
over with jealousy, is not boastful or vainglorious, does not display itself
haughtily.

5It is not conceited (arrogant and inflated with pride); it is not rude
(unmannerly) and does not act unbecomingly. Love (God's love in us) does not
insist on its own rights or its own way, for it is not self-seeking; it is
not touchy or fretful or resentful; it takes no account of the evil done to
it [it pays no attention to a suffered wrong].

6It does not rejoice at injustice and unrighteousness, but rejoices when
right and truth prevail.

7Love bears up under anything and everything that comes, is ever ready to
believe the best of every person, its hopes are fadeless under all
circumstances, and it endures everything [without weakening].

8Love never fails [never fades out or becomes obsolete or comes to an end].

- I Corinthians 13:4-8a, Amplified Bible (AMP)

Love is much more than a feeling. It's a very important endeavor! To
demonstrate kindness and patience requires having self-control and
consideration for others. To avoid being arrogant and rude, be genuine and
put other peoples' needs above your own. You can only applaud righteousness
by not being easily offended and by not carrying grudges. Learn to be pure
in heart, willing to forgive, to be respectful and unselfish. Firm
commitments to what is right keep your hope alive, enable you to hold up
under the worst conditions and to endure until the battles of this life are
won.

Life truly is like a boomerang. What you send out comes directly back to
you. Love yourself then you can love others. Be a blessing and you will
receive a blessing. Showing love is not difficult. Here are some ways to
do it:

* Do something nice for another person inconspicuously
* Give a compliment, a back rub, or pass along a job lead
* Wash the dishes even though its not your turn
* Take someone out to lunch unexpectedly
* Give clothes, food or money to the needy
* Provide your shoulder for a stranger to lean on
* Play with your kids and the neighbors' kids
* Smile and say thank you; give a hug or a kiss
* Let someone else go first this time
* Be a friend to the sad and lonely
* Share your favorite book or movie
* Share vegetables from your garden
* Send a card or letter to a long lost friend
* Don't be too critical; relinquish grudges and bitterness
* Try to relate to a teenager, remember when.and be patient
* Bring sunshine into the life of an orphan or homeless person
* Give heartfelt, encouraging words to someone who has lost hope
* Visit those in nursing homes, rehab centers, and convalescent homes

If each person will reach out to another person and do something beneficial,
these deeds will begin to trickle down. Before you know it, those drips
will create a flow of philanthropic deeds that will generate a wave of
goodness. The wave will transform into an avalanche of brotherly affection
and assistance. Then poor people, rich people, dark people, fair people.all
people will be blessed with the provision of their individual needs.

A child is encouraged, a family is fed, a village is secured and a country
is redeemed just because one person dared to stand up and make a difference
- to show some love, some bigheartedness and generosity. Such impersonal
love is the pathway to personal enhancement; simultaneously, it's a blessing
to everyone that receives it. "Love is the master key that opens the gate
of happiness." - Oliver Wendell Holmes By showing a little love, you help
to make the universe a kind, considerate and honorable world.

"Love is not about getting - but giving." - Henry Van Dyke

"If I could speak all the languages of earth and of angels, but didn't love
others, I would only be a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. If I had the gift
of prophecy, and if I understood all of God's secret plans and possessed all
knowledge, and if I had such faith that I could move mountains, but didn't
love others, I would be nothing. If I gave everything I have to the poor and
even sacrificed my body, I could boast about it; but if I didn't love
others, I would have gained nothing." Holy Bible, I Corinthians 13:1-3 So
go ahead, show some love. Give liberally and don't be stingy!

Conquering Fear, Doubt and Mistrust Part 3 - Strategy Implementation for Overpowering Anxiety

noreply@blogger.com (The White Dove Partnership) — Sun, 19 Apr 2009 00:36:00 +0000

Fear, doubt and mistrust are pandemic in our homes, communities and world.
No individual is immune to their impact. Parts 1 and 2 of this series
communicated two key steps in conquering fear, doubt and mistrust: 1)
Understand where you are now by taking a look into your past, and 2)
Re-focus and alter your thought patterns. Amid these two procedures reside
specific steps to be executed as previously described. The strategy has
been presented and explained. It now needs to be accepted and implemented.

Strategy implementation for overpowering anxiety will occur when you decide
change is overdue and imminent. When you are fed up with the way your life
is going and you're truly ready for a commitment to change, activation of
your strategic plans will begin. At that point, burn the bridge so you
cannot turn back. You must spend time each day endeavoring to conquer fear
using the system laid out for you. Sometimes you will want to throw in the
towel and give up, but remind yourself that you're attaining the happy life
that's rightfully yours. Turning back is no longer an option - the bridge
leading back to your previous life has been destroyed.

You have a new way of thinking now; you have a new focal point. Be
determined to move forward and not stop until you reach your goals.
Positive change commences the moment you choose to alter your attitude and
improve your life. Along the path to victory you will need to remind
yourself of your aim, control your responses to fear, isolate and evaluate
each circumstance separately, and perceive setbacks to be temporary
challenges - springboards to your success. Remain calm and in control.
Begin to act as if you are already the person you want to be. Accomplish
your goals by changing who you are - by changing the way you think and
conduct yourself.

Decide today that fear will no longer dictate your choices and actions, and
then organize your life around its achievement. Write down your specific
procedures and routine for overcoming your anxiety - fear, doubt and
mistrust. These steps will vary depending upon whether your objective is to
conquer the fear that something bad is happening, of criticism, making a
mistake, divorce, obesity, financial demise, loneliness or fear of the
future. Nonetheless, the fundamentals will be essentially the same. Be
sure to chop your tasks into small chunks if you are trying to conquer a
large fear.

Face and seize your fears by meeting them head on, and by standing up for
what you believe in. If you're worried about your well-being, then make
sure your diet is nutritional and that you are getting the proper amount of
daily exercise. If you're worried about job loss, start looking for another
job or begin a small business. If you're worried about being lonely, go out
and make some new friends - be a friend to someone who is already lonesome.
If you're afraid of change, begin to act as though that change has already
taken place and you'll find there was most likely nothing to fear at all.
Much of what we fear is just imaginary.

Resolve to live each day in a manner that is in harmony with your personal
convictions. This is crucial to overpowering your anxiety and in building
character, confidence, and pride in yourself. As a result you will
experience staying power and vitality to press ahead and win. You will feel
motivated and capable of overcoming any obstacle that impedes your success.
You will develop a stronger, more positive self-image that will drive your
fears away and permit you to attract the life of which you dream.

Work hard every day to reduce the flow of negative thoughts in your mind -
this action requires determination and persistence. Negative self-talk is a
monster that will upset your demeanor, goals, visualizations and hopes.
Continue to probe yourself. Why am I being so self-critical? Why am I
being a worrywart? Why do I anticipate the worst calamity? This pattern of
thinking is self-defeating; it sets you up for failure.

Altering your mental attitude is the primary requisite for successfully
conquering your fears, doubts and mistrusts. Promptly overcome negativism
with a change in routine and with positive affirmations. These declarations
are best spoken in the first, second and third persons in order to saturate
your subconscious mind. Conditioning your mind to think positive will cause
personal growth and develop self-trust as well as trustfulness in your
family, friends and co-workers.

When you awake in the mornings, and all through the day, choose your
thoughts and words very carefully. Eventually you will establish a brand
new pattern of thinking. Carefully select quality thoughts that will empower
you to conquer your fears and become the person you are meant to be. Start
a journal. Post entries in it every single day about your experiences,
thoughts and desires. At least once a week, go back and review what you
have written. This will help to keep you focused and highlight your
progress.

Beneath your fears are wisdom and a strong, determined force; so, go ahead
and implement your strategy for overpowering anxiety. Believe in yourself.
Have faith that you will succeed. Call upon your love ones for support.
Utilize your spirituality. Depend on God to accompany you as you journey to
your destiny. Conquering your fears is a process that takes time, practice
and lots of patience. However, the reward is a life you've only dreamed of
before; it's the actual fulfillment of your joy and happiness.

Conquering Fear, Doubt and Mistrust Part 2 - Re-Focus and Alter Your Thought Patterns

noreply@blogger.com (The White Dove Partnership) — Fri, 17 Apr 2009 23:15:00 +0000

Fear and all of its relatives - anxiety, worry, apprehension, self-doubt,
panic - makes you powerless and hinders the successful achievement of your
dreams. It tarnishes your image and obstructs your personal growth and
enhancement. Fear is a dream stealer and a destroyer. To conquer it
requires you understand the nature of your fears by taking a look into your
past. In Part 1 of this series, suggestions were provided for accomplishing
this chore through internalizing, meditating, journaling and talking with
trustworthy family and friends. This exercise helps you discover what fears
haunt you and why. With this data you can move to the next step which is to
re-focus and alter your thought patterns. If you will believe in yourself,
then change your attitude by changing your reflections, you can conquer your
fears and greatly improve your entire life.

Not all fear is bad. We observe this when fear supports our survival
through warnings of impending danger. Endeavors here are to deal with
destructive fear, not constructive fear. Most people live in constant dread
of something - their thoughts can lead to mental and physical disease. Fear
induces stress; too much stress can evoke hypertension, heart disease,
cancer and manic depression. In truth, ninety percent of the things feared
never happen. Fear thus robs innocent people of realizing their ambitions
and fantasies. This negative imagery ruins aspirations for a better way of
living.

The process of understanding your fears by looking into your past is a work
in progress as you strive to attain more conscious control over your own
behavior. By now you should have at least one fear identified, and ready
for evaluation. Your system of values (what you believe in), your culture
and your environment all contribute to the fear, doubt and mistrust you
experience. But with faith in God and your abilities, every fear that
besets you can be cancelled. Rather than trust in your own capability,
exhibit confidence in God. You can do all things through Him because He
will strengthen you and direct your activities.

Now that you have at least one fear isolated, it's time for analyzation.
Begin this procedure by disposing of what other people may think. Their
pessimistic ideas, judgments, and rejection are their own issues that have
no bearing on who you are; and they certainly don't determine who you can
become. That power lies within you; it's all yours. And know that you
cannot run away from your fears - they will linger and become more damaging
until you deal with them. Strive to change every condition that gives rise
to alarm in your life. Do not hesitate to seek professional assistance with
understanding and resolving your fears.

The next step in the process of evaluating your fears is to take control of
negative, self-defeating thoughts. Re-focus! Force yourself to think of
something else quickly. Say, "I CAN and I WILL do this! I WILL overcome my
fears!" Sing an uplifting song, get on the treadmill, take a few laps, or
take a walk in the flower garden. Again, keep in mind you are not your
thoughts; neither are you your feelings. You are not hopelessly doomed to
failure. YOU ARE wonderfully made by the hand of God. With His mighty hand
and outstretched arm YOU WILL conquer every terror, every doubt and every
bit of mistrust so you can fulfill your most precious desires. So how do
you move forward? How do you re-focus and change your thought patterns?
Here's how:

1. Admit your fears and vow to leave your comfort zone to conquer them
2. Ascertain what beliefs or values contributed to this fear(s)
3. Dissect large fears into manageable small pieces; be patient in mastering

them
4. Visualize the thing(s) you fear and determine how you will handle it
5. Pray and meditate daily - recite positive affirmations throughout the day
6. Seek clarity in whatever you think, feel and say; smile more often
7. Adopt positive thinking techniques; replace negative self-talk
immediately
8. Label essentials as desires and preferences; this helps reduce stress in
your life
9. Become a better money and time manager; take some classes
10. Make well, thought-out decisions promptly; don't procrastinate
11. Let the past remain in the past; profit from your mistakes and move
forward
12. Be optimistic despite your anxieties; turn your obstacles into
opportunities
13. Replace 'need to or have got to' with 'want to or would like to'
statements
14. Don't allow your feelings to control your actions; change your routine
15. Notice how other people behave and handle their fears

Conquering fear, doubt and mistrust require that you change your focus.
Conquering fear, doubt and mistrust require that you perform in spite of
your fright. It demands you know who you are, and be well aware that your
mental conceptualizations do not represent you. It insists that you re-focus
starting now and alter your thought patterns, getting rid of pessimism in
all of its forms. Your successfulness both commences and is accomplished in
your mind. Do all that is within your power to change your old way of
thinking and believing. Change the things you can, and learn how to live
more wisely with the things you can't change.

Always remember that nothing stays the same; everything changes sooner or
later. Do not let yourself concentrate on frightening thoughts. What you
believe you will achieve. If you're down you will get up, and you will grow
into the person you have always dreamed of becoming. The change won't happen
overnight. It will take weeks, months, maybe even years to get to that
exact place - but with determination and persistence you will arrive. Make
it a fun trip! Today is the beginning of your new life. Step up to the
plate - step out and acquire all that is rightfully yours. You can do it!
Yes you can!

True courage is not the absence of fear; it's the mastery of fear. - Mark
Twain

Conquering Fear, Doubt and Mistrust - Part 1: Understand Where You are Now by Taking a Look into Your Past

noreply@blogger.com (The White Dove Partnership) — Tue, 14 Apr 2009 16:08:00 +0000

Fear is that green-eyed monster, that slithering creature that makes you
anxious, afraid, nervous, apprehensive, pessimistic and hopeless. Yes that
includes you Mr. Corporate President. You, too, big time business woman;
and yes, even you Mr. and Mrs. No-Money-Problem Billionaire. Fear impacts
everyone. It is wretched indeed; yet it can be overcome. Fear causes
serious misgivings and discomfort; but it cannot steal and keep your freedom
unless you allow it to do so. Together let's work diligently and defeat
fear, doubt and mistrust in our lives.

Many of us carry around a lot of excess baggage. Stuff that happened 6
months, a year, 5, 10, even 20 years ago remains devotedly attached to our
memories. And we wonder why we can't move forward, why we can't get ahead
and achieve big dreams. Until we deal with our unrest we will never move
ahead. Our joy and happiness - our peace of mind and personal successes
will not become realities until we conquer our fears, doubts and mistrusts.
We will not experience personal growth or development; we will not
experience a vibrant persona until we are victorious over this debilitating
malady. Fear is a feeling that too often rules our lives and makes us
dysfunctional.

Whether it is fear of commitment, rejection, failure, death, flying, job
loss, poor health, divorce; fear of loneliness, criticism, growing old or
not having your needs met, this fear beast dictates and prevents us from
living our lives to the fullest. Nonetheless, fear can be survived and
triumphed over if you are willing to work and are motivated enough to subdue
it - rather than let it remain in control. ARE YOU WILLING TO TAKE A LEAP OF
FAITH?

Fear is the biggest obstacle to pursuing your dreams; it sabotages your
success. Many people insist it is a lack of money or time or resources that
holds a person back; but, it is the fear demon. You see, where there is a
will there still is a way to receive your needs and many of your wants.
Fear minimizes the quality of your thinking and squashes aggressive action.
If you can't think right, you can't do right.you can't achieve your heart's
desires.

What is it that you've wanted to pursue, that you've been hesitating to
venture upon? Pull out a sheet of paper, better yet take out a spiral
notebook and let's deal with this nuisance. The first step in conquering
fear is to understand its source. Make a list of everything that agitates
you and disquiets your spirit. Leave about three lines between each item.
Now go back and think about what originates that doubt. What is it about
flying that frightens you? What is it about losing your job that terrorizes
you? Why do you not believe that all of your needs will be provided for?
What is it about change, challenge and new responsibilities that sends you
into orbit? Why do you feel trapped and helpless? Try to understand where
you are now, why you have these fears, doubts and mistrusts by looking into
your past - but don't dwell there. You must acknowledge and understand your
fear in order to conquer it.

You may need to work on your list and brainstorm a few days or weeks; do
whatever it takes. Every single move in the right direction will lead you
to victory. After identifying your fears, search deep within and consider
their source - where did they come from. Ponder why your fear exists so
strongly. Answers to these queries will bring about the solutions that are
right for you. If you are a Believer, I urge you to pray earnestly, study
your Bible and have faith in the Word of God. The Scriptures below will get
you started on your way:
Come unto Me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you
rest. - Matthew 11:28

Trust in the Lord with all of your heart; and lean not unto your own
understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your
paths. Be not wise in your own eyes: fear the Lord and, and depart from
evil. - Proverbs 3:5-7

.whosoever shall say unto this mountain, be thou removed and be thou cast
into the sea; and shall not doubt in his heart, but shall believe that those
things which he saith shall come to pass; he shall have whatsoever he saith.
- Mark 11:23

Cast your burden upon the Lord, and He shall sustain thee. - Psalm 55:22a

For with God nothing shall be impossible. - Luke 2:37

The fear of man bringeth a snare: but whoso putteth his trust in the Lord
shall be safe [secure].
- Proverbs 29:25

Pray, meditate, think logically; learn the origin of your fears - doubts and
mistrusts. Understand where you are right now by taking a look into your
past. Only then can you start to conquer fear. Talk about your fears with
someone you can confide in, with someone who has proper knowledge,
compassion and skills to help you. It is very important that you
recognize, define and accept your fears. Only then can you comprehend where
they come from and how you can rid yourself of them. Take baby steps - crawl
before you walk. Endeavor patiently; persevere with tenacity and
determination. YOU WILL BE AN OVERCOMER.

There's Power in Saying No

noreply@blogger.com (The White Dove Partnership) — Fri, 10 Apr 2009 15:45:00 +0000

"NO" - one consonant, one vowel, one syllable - then why is it so hard to
just say NO. Even when you are sure the answer is NO, when your head says
NO - you still open your mouth and respond, 'Yes'. What's wrong with this
picture? Are you being too nice here? Are you afraid to say NO because of
feared repercussions? Do you believe saying NO to be politically incorrect?
Well think again, you are no super man or super woman. You absolutely can
not be all things to all people all the time.

How can you stop this contradiction? How do you stop worrying about whose
feelings are being hurt, quit making decisions you soon regret - and then
suffer the consequences all alone? When are you going to release your
excess baggage and stop being concerned about who will get angry? When will
you stop giving in to avoid confrontation? And when will you stop yielding
to other people's task delegations because you feel pressured? I say it's
time for you to get off of this merry-go-round NOW. Say NO to being taken
advantage of, used and abused because of your kindness, your talent and your
fear.

You are human and can only do so much. Your life consists of a whole lot
more than work, family assistance and community services. Choosing not to
accept additional responsibilities simply means you recognize that you have
higher priorities to deal with at the present time. Should someone get
angry because you said NO to their request, so be it. That is not your
problem. As Phil Evans of People Stuff says, "What others do or say is
their stuff; how we react, or not, is our stuff! And: true happiness in life
isn't having what you want, but wanting what you have! And lastly: What
other people think of you is none of your business!" Live your life based
upon your own beliefs, values, and ambitions. Then you can have peace of
mind and joy.

You have to respect your own time and duties if you want others to do
likewise. The ability to say NO gives you personal power and freedom
because you are no longer held in bondage by other peoples' agendas. You
are free to move about and live your life the way you choose; when, where
and how you choose without being encumbered. It takes practice to learn
this art of saying NO; but, once you get over the initial shock and exercise
your power a few times, it becomes second nature. There are distinct and
tactful ways of just saying NO that will yield more success and favorable
regard.

Begin saying NO to unhealthy eating habits and negative self-talk. Say NO
to decisions that compete against your specific goals. DO NOT make it easy
for anyone to expect you to do what he or she wants, without consideration
for your plans. Maintain a comprehensive daily planner that includes your
commitments, goals and personal plans. Review your calendar each day to
help you more easily decline unprofitable, distracting tasks. Use your
discernment, disrupt conversations, and resolutely let others know your
schedule is full or that you already have existing commitments.

Consider heeding these additional suggestions:

1. Re-organize your thoughts and priorities systematically
2. Be polite, but let your voice tones agree with your words
3. Avoid encouraging body language - nods, smiles, etc.
4. Don't ask questions that suggest your interest or buy-in
5. Begin sentences with the word NO to exert your power and influence
6. Say "Let me think about it" when you want time to consider a
decision
7. Refuse to give in to flattery and do not feel guilty for saying NO
8. More often than not, give a short, firm NO without lengthy
justification

You can soften your NO by using the phrase 'Not now' if you are speaking
with someone you are close to or if there is a chance you can help them at a
future time. Saying NO is an amazing empowerment tool. When you learn to do
it effectively, you will begin to notice how people no longer ask you to do
their urgent, unimportant tasks. Finally they have come to realize that
their smooth lines and tactics no longer work on you. Get familiar with
your personal limitations, establish precedence for your chores, and make
certain you spend enough time taking care of your needs first. Later you
can help someone else if it is your choice.

Recognize the responsibility and power in saying NO. Acquire this skill and
you will become more honest with yourself and those persons wanting your
time and space. Doing so is hard initially, particularly if you thrive on
other folks' approvals. But hang in there and keep trying. Eventually your
confidence will begin to soar as you realize you are not rejecting the
people, but the task request and infringement on your time. You will earn
more respect; you will demand more respect.

Being in your own power is the ability to just be yourself, without fear of
criticism, with confidence rather than arrogance.
Phil Evans, People Stuff
Master, Personal Development and Empowerment

Become a Better Listener

noreply@blogger.com (The White Dove Partnership) — Wed, 08 Apr 2009 17:11:00 +0000

Productive communication incorporates just as much listening as it does
talking and gesturing. It entails the assurance that we will listen to what
others have to say as indicated by our words and actions. We will compromise
- meet them half way if necessary. Good communication is not controlling
the conversation. It's letting someone else have a word, and paying
attention to his or her voice in the matter. Consequently, knowing how to
listen well is imperative to successful dialogue.

You Cannot Always Have It Your Way

All of us can use a refresher course in becoming better listeners, by
working peacefully to converse with one another. More often than not we are
preoccupied with our own concerns. This causes us not to listen well during
conversations and insist upon having our own way. By having such a
self-focus, we fail to notice the problems, concerns and needs of others.
The message we send out very forcefully is that we are not interested in
them. Communicating well insists that we respect our individual needs as
well as the needs of other persons. One man or woman is no more important
than the next. "To whom much is given, much is required."

So come alive and get over it - we cannot always have our own way. We must
bend a little if we want to enhance our persona. The art of compromising is
interlaced within us. No one is an island. At some point a man will give
and a man will take - like it or not. Compromise represents a means of
survival, not a loss of face or power. It's giving up something not as
essential, in order to receive a greater necessity in return.

Nevertheless, personal values and human needs are non-negotiable. So we
might as well learn to be a lot less selfish and a whole lot more
empathetic. We might as well become a better listener by becoming less
self-focused. People will like us more, trust us more and associate with us
more.

Being a Good, Active Listener Requires Practice

Listening is a verb. It's an action word. To do it well requires work; it
does not come naturally. It requires practice. Thus, becoming a good
listener means becoming an active listener even if we have heard the same
story line before. There is always the potential for learning something
new; hearing something we missed the last time. Unfortunately, we rarely
listen attentively. Instead we find ourselves thinking about something else
or planning a rebuttal to what we think we have just heard. We allow
distractions to cause our minds to drift away. It's time to embrace a real
commitment and positive attitude tailored to the person we are speaking
with.

Whether we're talking one-on-one, or engaged in a group discussion, it is of
utmost importance that we give our undivided attention to the speaker. When
the person talking has finished, we should be able to recite back in our own
words what we heard. This does not imply that we agree with what was said,
but that we are paying attention. It gives the speaker an opportunity to
provide additional explanations if we have not properly understood what was
said. At this point we can discuss our differences intelligently and devise
a plan to resolve them. Active listening is a wonderful habit to form. It
reduces misunderstandings and conflict.

Communicate Authentically - Don't Try to Fake It

Authentic communicators are people who project sincerity, a positive
self-image, and a willingness to hear all that their speakers have to say.
Because they've taken time to do self-assessments and understand themselves,
they have a realistic idea of how other people operate and why. They don't
try to fake who they are and run the risk of annoying their listeners. Being
authentic when communicating means being earnest and considerate - holding
positive regard for other people's time and opinions. Persons who speak
genuinely from the head and heart create good rapport, prompt good listening
and establish an atmosphere of trust. Listeners are dissuaded from sending
up protective barriers. It positions the speaker and the listener for having
productive conversations.

Traits of a Good Listener

Let us put forth diligent efforts to become good listeners. Let us
understand the benefits, train ourselves to be active, authentic (genuine),
reflective listeners to those with whom we speak - at home, in our
businesses, on our jobs, at the mall or in the park. Let us adopt the
attributes below and become good listeners for personal development, image
enhancement, and effective communications. They are the traits of a good
listener.

Maintains eye contact with the speaker
Radiates open-mindedness and confidence
Tunes out distractions and tunes in the speaker
Uses body language to acknowledge attentiveness
Respects the speaker's emotions and feelings
Is slow to react and take defensive action
Asks questions for clarification and interest
Suspends judgment and acknowledges what is being said
Listens to the whole message before formulating a response
Paraphrases what the speaker said; repeats it in his own words
Does not get hung up on the speaker's delivery style

Smile: It's Infectious, Contagious and Healthful!

noreply@blogger.com (The White Dove Partnership) — Mon, 06 Apr 2009 14:58:00 +0000

A smile is the universal welcome. - Max Eastman

Everyone smiles in the same language. - Author Unknown

It takes 26 muscles to smile, and 62 muscles to frown.
- Author Unknown

A smile is an inexpensive way to change your looks. ~Charles Gordy

Life is like a mirror, we get the best results when we smile at it. -
Author Unknown

I've never seen a smiling face that was not beautiful. - Author Unknown

A smile is a light in the window of the soul indicating that the heart is at
home.
- Author Unknown

Wear a smile and have friends; wear a scowl and have wrinkles. What do we
live for if not to make the world less difficult for each other?
George Eliot

If you're not using your smile, you're like a man with a million dollars in
the bank and no checkbook.
- Les Giblin

It takes a lot of work from the face to let out a smile, but just think what
good smiling can bring to the most important muscle of the body... the
heart. - Author Unknown

Every time you smile at someone, it is an action of love, a gift to that
person, a beautiful thing.
- Mother Teresa

A kind heart is a fountain of gladness, making everything in its vicinity
freshen into smiles.
- Washington Irving

A smile can brighten the darkest day. - Author Unknown

People seldom notice old clothes, if you wear a big smile. ~Lee Mildon

The world always looks brighter from behind a smile. - Author Unknown

Smiling is infectious; You can catch it like the flu.
Someone smiled at me today, And I started smiling too.
- Author Unknown

Smiles are simple, wholesome, therapeutic and powerful! If you think I'm
kidding, stop right now and try one. Think about a joyous moment. A
hilarious joke. An intimate moment. A funny moment. Smile and watch that
smile turn into laughter, hope, and renewal. Umm, Umm good! Did smiling
not can help cheer you up? Replay it and do it again. This time take a
look in the mirror as you reminisce and smile.

Did you notice anything different? Was there a twinkling in your eyes, a
fluttering in your heart? Smiles lighten your moods and put you at ease.
They make you fascinating, charming, pretty or handsome. They make you more
approachable. Friends, family and new acquaintances respond favorably when
you smile. When you're calm, you tend to be more thoughtful, more tranquil,
less defensive, and more in control. Smiling is said to boost your body's
immune functions, cause measurable reductions in your blood pressure, aid
your longevity, and elicit a promising outlook on your future. Smiling
helps to make your most private dreams come true. It is a powerful, healing,
natural medicine.

When we smile our soul is invigorated. Our brain sends a message to the
whole body that says be at peace, relax and receive some love. And then a
great change in our bodies and minds begins. So when life starts to get in
the way, treat it with a hearty smile.

For anyone that still doesn't get it.that's still asking "Why smile?" I say,
"Commit this 'because' - this affirmation to memory."

Everyday, throughout the day, I smile because smiling:

Makes me look attractive and feel YOUNGER
Gives me a natural facelift
Improves my mood
Lowers my blood pressure
Enhances my immune system
Releases endorphins - natural morphine
De-stresses and relieves tension
Improves my emotional well-being
Releases serotonin - calms me; helps me sleep better
Improves my personality and relieves depression
Is contagious, infectious and healthful
Keeps me hopeful and filled with optimism

Go ahead and cause a chain reaction - SMILE. It "costs nothing but gives
much. It enriches those who receive without making poorer those who give.
It takes but a moment, but the memory of it sometimes lasts forever. None
is so rich or mighty that he cannot get along without it and none is so poor
that he cannot be made rich by it. Yet a smile cannot be bought, begged,
borrowed, or stolen, for it is something that is of no value to anyone until
it is given away. Some people are too tired to give you a smile. Give them
one of yours, as none needs a smile so much as he who has no more to give."
(Author Unknown)

Be a Good Samaritan. Reach out, stretch yourself, and give someone a
genuine smile today. It might just make the difference between life and
death in his or her world.

Life Coaching: How Much Does it Cost?

noreply@blogger.com (The White Dove Partnership) — Thu, 02 Apr 2009 20:53:00 +0000

Two blog posts have preceded this one. They stress the significance of
employing your very own, personal life coach, as a means of improving
persona or image. The subject of these blogs is as follows:

. A Life Coach Can Help With Your Image Enhancement, Personal Growth and
Empowerment
. Life Coaching Sessions: What to Expect

An important question still remains. Just how much does it cost to hire a
life coach? Is it expensive, affordable and worth the money? Here's what
some folks had to say about that:

1. "I am currently being coached by [my life coach] and we started about 6
weeks ago. His insight into the human psyche, what motivates us, how to
improve our relationships, how to improve ME, is remarkable. In the short
time [he] has been coaching me, I have seen remarkable improvements in both
my business life and my personal life. He is very easy to talk with and I
have shared many aspects of my life that no one else knows. I am very
excited about the future and eagerly look forward to our coaching
sessions..."

2. I had totally lost my confidence and was about to lose my job. [My life
coach] coached me through each meeting with my district manager. I not only
kept my job but I got a promotion in three months.

3. "After only two months I found myself in a "winning zone". Three months
after starting, I now have clear direction in my professional life, friends
are noticing changes in me, and life at home is better than ever. My life
has turned completely around."

4. "My relationships with my wife, kids and father have grown since we began
coaching together. I could never have done it without you and have
accomplished so much in such a short amount of time. My life has become so
much more manageable and stress free since working with you. My conflicts at
home and work are now seen in a different light and are not so major and I
am now able to now work through them. I also have to thank you for
supporting me in writing a thank you letter to my father. That action has
had a big impact on me and my relationship with my father that words cannot
describe..."

5. "Working with [my life coach] has been a life changing experience for me.
Her coaching sessions consistently provide fresh opportunities to discern
the true nature of my life situation, to become clearly aware of where I am,
where I really want to go and most importantly, what I need to do to get
there.In just a few months, I've seen my stress level drop and my overall
personal and professional life satisfaction grow by leaps and bounds."

6. "Although the coaching was expensive for me at the time - in monetary
terms - it was the best decision I ever made, and I have never regretted it
for a second."

7. "It helped me most to have someone in my corner, encouraging me, pointing
out the negative talk in my head and the ways in which I sabotage myself.
Now I have a dialogue with my self and push through the negative talk."

As you can clearly see from these testimonials, investing in life coaching
is definitely worth the money. Currently the coaching profession is
unregulated. Individual coaches determine their own costs based upon what
the market will bear. Be sure to discuss pricing in detail with your
potential life coach before you sign on to avoid any surprises, and get the
terms in writing.

Fees vary widely due to several factors: a) the reputation and expertise of
the coach, b) his time commitment, c) coaching objectives, d) the type of
services requested, e) the offering of package deals or special pricings,
and f) whether personal or business coaching is involved. Coaching fees,
also, differ depending on the length of each session, the number of sessions
held per month, and how many months you commit to being coached.

The cost range I've observed extends from forty dollars for a one-hour
session to over five hundred dollars for a one-hour session. Paying clients
generally agree that the services rendered are very much worth the cash
outlay. Note however that the fees charged do not validate the quality of
coaching you can expect to receive.

DO NOT choose a life coach based upon cost; but rather, select a coach based
upon an ideal match with you and your needs. Decide to pay a little more now
if necessary to get from where you are to where you want to be in the near
future. Perhaps the reputable coach will require fewer sessions to achieve
your desired results.

Sometimes the prices can be negotiated. Two hours a month seems to be the
minimum requirement for effectivity with at least a three month commitment.
Phone charges are not always included in fee quotes. Some life coaches
offer money back guarantees and will refund the entire amount paid should
you become dissatisfied, while others will refund only the unused portion.
For business owners all or part of these costs may be tax deductible.
Please check with your tax accountant for verification.

Costs for investing in life coaching services pale when compared with the
enormous value obtained. Ask yourself, "Is it possible that the benefits
received from life coaching are worth the monetary investment for my
happiness and peace of mind?" Can I expect long-term consequences that will
yield a better life to my family, friends and to myself? If the answers to
these questions are YES, then I say, "You go for it!"

Life Coaching Sessions: What to Expect

noreply@blogger.com (The White Dove Partnership) — Thu, 02 Apr 2009 16:52:00 +0000

People that are primed to make serious changes in their careers, businesses and personal lives hire life coaches. They feel disconnected and want to get their lives back on track. Thus, they begin a search to find compatible coaches with relevant experience, commitment, training and good rapport. Perhaps you are in this category, have chosen a life coach, and now you are curious about what happens next.

Well, with the assistance of your new life coach, you will design a coaching plan that meets your schedule requirements and satisfies your necessities. In most cases the coaching sessions will convene over the telephone rather than face-to-face. Nevertheless, if you reside in close proximity to your coach, you should have a personal introduction first – it's usually helpful to attach a face to a name. Life coaches prefer conducting telephone sessions. Not only do they not require offices, staff or other costly overhead, but they are:

⇨ Easier to schedule
⇨ The better use of time
⇨ An effective process
⇨ Definitely more focused on YOU
⇨ More personal and productive since there are fewer distractions

So at first there is usually a 60- to 90- minute teleconference. The partnership is established, the rules are reviewed, and the coaching process is initiated. Your coach's goal will be to assist you in obtaining specific results that will enhance your image, personal growth and personal development. You will discuss the coaching session formats and the level of support you desire. Note that YOU will do the majority of the talking, and take ownership of your issues. Your life coach wants to know all about you and your concerns, challenges and reservations. He or she wants you to describe in detail your goals, visions and aspirations.

Where would you like to be a year from now, or five years from now? What would you like to be doing? What would you like to have accomplished? Prior to the first session, you may have been required to complete a questionnaire as a routine way of getting acquainted with you and your coaching expectations. You may be seeking assistance with one specific issue, or you may be seeking help with several circumstances you are facing. With your coach serving as your facilitator, you will identify which goals have the most priority, and which ones you want to work on first.

The life coach is there to help you clearly define your 'what and why'. He will help to make your goals real to you; he'll help you understand how achievable they are. Then he will inspire you and help you find pleasure in the coaching process. He will be on the alert for opportunities to probe and challenge you. He will graciously accept your questions and the two of you will decide what happens during the next session. You will set the agenda; but, your coach will assure you remain on track for the achievement of your goals.

Your follow-on life coaching appointments will consist of one 30- to 90-minute telephone call per week based upon the type of coaching services you purchased, the coach's methods, and your personal coaching essentials. They can be held less frequently if necessary. Usually a three to six month commitment is made, although the typical coaching partnership lasts nearly a year. Many client objectives are so significant that it takes months to realize them. The coaching partnership entitles you to unlimited email support and an occasional power call or brief check-in call, also.

Throughout each session, your life coach will initiate dialogue to help you understand yourself and your goals better. He will direct you along the way so you will learn how to make choices that result in a balanced, fulfilling life. His queries will cause you to reach way down into the recesses of your mind and spur in depth thoughts; incite your creativity, urge the understanding of your life's situations, and encourage you to summon those solutions that satisfy your needs, wants and challenges. These sessions are confidential.

Although you will be given options where appropriate, your life coach will never tell you what to do. He will only guide you in selecting the most viable option for accomplishing your objectives. You will want to set aside sufficient time for reflection and observation following each coaching session. By doing so, you will obtain maximum benefits and success.

How long the life coaching partnership lasts depends upon what it is you want, your current position and where you hope to be in the future. It might last three to six months or it might last one to two years. Experience indicates that personal growth and development is evidenced between the fourth and eighth sessions. Good life coaches make certain each session is friendly, relaxed, saturated with optimism and as much fun as possible.

In summary, here is what you can expect from your life coaching sessions:

Direction
Challenge
Accountability
Encouragement
Focused objectives
Support and validation
Goal setting and achievement

I wish you all the best!

A Life Coach Can Help With Your Image Enhancement, Personal Growth and Empowerment

noreply@blogger.com (The White Dove Partnership) — Thu, 02 Apr 2009 00:45:00 +0000

Improve your image, enhance your personal growth and achieve empowerment by
hiring a life coach.

Wikipedia reports that "…coaching is a recognized discipline used by many
professionals engaged in people development. However, as a distinct
profession it is relatively new and self-regulating. There are six
self-appointed accreditation bodies for business and life coaching: the
International Coaching Council (ICC), the International Coach Federation
(ICF), the International Association of Coaching (IAC), the Certified
Coaches Federation (CCF), the European Coaching Institute (ECI) and the
International Guild of Coaches (IGC). No independent supervisory board
evaluates these programs and they are all privately owned. These bodies all
accredit various coaching schools as well as individual coaches, except the
IAC and ECI which only accredits individuals."

With all of the financial and relationship turmoil we face today, people are
all in a stir. Breadwinners are forced to find new, innovative ways to earn
a living and provide for their households. Current careers are not
satisfying and new ones are being sought. Haunting questions about
survivability, capability, courage, acceptance and individual
trustworthiness proliferate. These inquiries are stimulating new
self-assessments, coupled with the generation and revision of personal goals
and purposes.

A life coach can be the life jacket or life preserver during these times of
crisis and indecision. He or she can help you scrutinize what's going on
presently in your life. He can help you identify opportunities, challenges,
obstacles and the most profitable success strategies for making your life
what you dream it to be. Life coaching is not about providing therapy,
counseling or answers to its clients.

The beauty of life coaching is that the coach works closely and confidently
with his clients to help them figure out their own solutions. This serves
as a catalyst for getting better acquainted with who you are, for improving
your logic, analytical thinking, and problem-solving abilities. Life
coaching enhances personal growth, personal development and character while
setting the stage for an enriched lifestyle.

As a trusting bond forms, the life coach will begin to identify various
thought patterns and behaviors that may not be apparent to you. He will
guide you to the achievement of your personal aspirations. To do so,
however, you must have clarity of where you are in life and where you aspire
to be in the next year or so. You have to be committed and allow your life
coach to work with you, give you assignments, challenges, and hold you
accountable. You should have definite goals in mind that you want help
with. Specific, achievable goals are described as follows:

° Unearth what's most important to your happiness
° Create the proper vision for your business
° Make a career change involving relocation
° Development of greater financial management skills
° Manage family time better
° Achieve the best balance between work and home
° Develop leadership skills
° Find more time for rest and relaxation
° Start a home-based business
° Return to original vision and mission
° Eliminate obstacles that block success
° Transform passion into a positive, profitable lifestyle
° Stop making frustrating choices that sabotage advancement

When working with a life coach, you can establish richer goals and attain
them with greater success than if you endeavored alone. But, you say, these
coaches are not regulated; how do I find a good one? How do I know I can
trust a life coach? First of all you have to be a part of the process by
thoroughly researching the profession and completing your due diligence.
It's critical to find the coach that's right for you, one that you click
with and connect with really well. Use referrals or databases such as these
to find suitable life coach candidates:

° www.coachfederation.org
° www.findacoach.com
° www.certifiedcoach.org
° www.coachreferral.com

Plan to participate in no less than three FREE, no-strings attached sample
coaching sessions. You will be looking to hire someone with greater
experience than you in your area of interest. Look for relevant coaching
experience, commitment, solid credentials, and a pertinent pre-coaching
background. A key objective will be to ascertain the coaching style and
approach of each coach, and to discover which one you're most comfortable
with.

Approach each life coach with a specific problem, and analyze how each one
addresses the issue. After each sample session, ask yourself the following
questions. Rate each of the three coaches on these concerns to help you
make the right decision.

Was the potential life coach well informed and intuitive?
Did the coach focus on you and your issue?
Did either coach lead you to a solution?
Did the coach seem experienced, wise and caring?
Who did most of the talking, you or the coaching candidate?
Was the personal chemistry a match?
Will the potential life coach provide references?
Does either coach seem to have a special "gift of coaching"?
Was there a firm desire to help you resolve your dilemma?
Did he or she seem excited by the opportunity to coach you?
Would you engage in weekly 30 to 90 minute conversations with this coach?
Did the life coach candidate appear to understand you?
Did you feel a close connection with either of the coaches?
Were you comfortable during the discussions?
Did you find the tone and mood of the call appealing?
Did the life coach help you to see your situation differently?
Can this life coach help you achieve your goals?

Employing a life coach is a smart way to invest in yourself and to enhance
your image. You will grow and develop a better YOU through the coaching
process. Rest assured that the personal growth and enhancement benefits you
gain will not be short-lived. In my next two blog posts, I will share views
on what to expect during life coaching sessions and how much it costs to
hire a life coach.

Single Mothers Help Their Sons Transition from Boys to Men

noreply@blogger.com (The White Dove Partnership) — Fri, 27 Mar 2009 03:54:00 +0000

All single mothers are not the same. There are some mothers who treat their
sons like little girls, and cast them into an identity crisis; nonetheless,
there are other moms who do not. Conscientious single mothers do what's best
for their sons despite the sacrifices demanded. So where do they begin?
They accept their circumstances and vow to raise their sons successfully.
These single moms help their boys advance to the men they're destined to
become. This is accomplished by adhering to well thought out action plans,
and by not depending solely upon their own efforts.

ACTION ONE: Single moms pray daily that God will enable them to become
excellent mothers and help them to raise their sons in a way that meets His
approval. When appropriate, they lead their sons to the Lord for salvation.
They pray that God will endow them with knowledge, wisdom, understanding,
and with every essential skill and ability. They ask God to direct their
sons' pathways, order their steps. guide them in their living, in their
choice of friends, their career and in their selection of a wife. They take
them to church and Sunday or Sabbath School.

ACTION TWO: Single mothers motivate fathers to participate in their sons'
lives and become their role models. They do all they can to help these men
establish strong bonds with their sons and foster frequent father-son
activities. They seek additional positive role models in grandfathers,
uncles, coaches, teachers, etc., to mentor their sons. Assistance is
recruited from church, male neighbors, karate clubs, or from organizations
such as the Boy Scouts of America, Big Brothers, and the Boys to Men
Mentoring Network.

ACTION THREE: Single moms help their sons develop suitable, written goals
and ambitions. They make them accountable, help them monitor their
progress, and revise their plans when necessary. They teach them optimism,
compassion, ethics and respect. They help them to be responsible, to become
pro-active instead of reactive, and to handle the differing issues of life.

ACTION FOUR: Single mothers teach their sons how to choose quality friends
with comparable values and goals, and how to establish good relationships.
They get to know their sons' friends, and the friends' parents. They allow
them to invite their friends over for dinner or to spend the night. They
make certain their sons attend lots of male oriented functions where they
can interact with committed, conscientious men and boost their self-esteem.

ACTION FIVE: Single moms raising boys keep their wits about them. They
work to understand their sons' struggles, reassuring them as needed,
discussing what the destination to manhood entails and what it does not -
leaving certain facts to be handled by their male confidants. They strive
not to be overly-protective of their sons.

ACTION SIX: Single mothers don't criticize their sons' fathers, nor express
negative views about men in their presence. They encourage their sons as
much as possible to love and respect their fathers. They make it a point to
highlight the positive qualities in men using the media and real live
examples. Their sons' importance to them is reinforced again and again
because they love them unconditionally.. They realize that their sons will
respond to their values differently than they do because they are males.

ACTION SEVEN: Single moms don't expect their sons to be the men around the
house; however, they do require them to share in the household chores, in
the household finances and operations. Consequently, they pay their sons
commissions based on the completion of their tasks, but not weekly
allowances. They instill organizational skills in their boys by helping
them design and manage their chores using written lists. And they always
remember to praise their achievements, and tell their boys how proud they
are of them.

ACTION EIGHT: Single mothers talk with their sons regularly and create an
environment for open communication. They are aware of what's going on in
their boys' lives and constantly track their actions. They show interest in
their activities, teach their sons how to resolve conflicts, and encourage
them to face their fears. They help them with their homework, play games
with them, and plan outings with them. They, also, limit the amount of time
they can spend watching television and playing computer games.

ACTION NINE: Single moms stay connected with their sons' schools, their
teachers and parent-teacher associations. They encourage their boys' to get
involved in extracurricular activities such as band, soccer, chorus,
basketball, football, the yearbook staff, or the debate club. This is done
to help their boys' discover and develop their individual strengths,
abilities and talents. It's done to encourage them to be men of honor and
integrity.

ACTION TEN: Single mothers love all of their children and spend quality
time with each of them. They, also, take time to relax and unwound. They
find a few quiet moments for refreshment and restoration.

Being a single mother is extremely challenging. Determination, tenacity,
personal growth and development help them to survive victoriously. Thereby,
their images are enhanced, and likewise, the images of their sons are
improved. With persistence, boldness and support from compassionate family
and friends, single mothers help their sons to transition from boys to
hopeful, confident, courageous men. They provide their sons with a healthy
passage to manhood.

Boys to Men: A Destination

noreply@blogger.com (The White Dove Partnership) — Thu, 26 Mar 2009 23:20:00 +0000

Boys in our societies are eager to become men. This transformation isn't
just a parental obligation; others like neighbors, teachers, coaches, scout
masters and church members share in this momentous responsibility. Child
development authorities report that beginning in preschool, little boys
begin their destiny to manhood. Their little peers get in on the action by
influencing / challenging them. The media launches subtle messages that are
presumed to define masculinity – advertisements, cartoons, movies, music,
video games.

Boys experience pressure from competition and tests they believe are the
rites of passage for becoming a man. These tests require them to exhibit
athletic skills, to be macho, show super strength, to not be girlish, to not
cry or be ashamed of their fears, and to conceal their emotions. Every day
they engage in some form of rivalry to pass these tests so they can boast of
their skill and prowess. Competition and power struggles are key elements
in their destination to manhood.

The boys respond by suppressing their sentiments, acting out, hiding their
acts of compassion, and underperforming. At home, parents notice their
little boys attempting to dominate another sibling. They try to shroud
their true feelings and show no empathy or sympathy. Boys are supposed to
be active, rough, tough and aggressive. They no longer want to be hugged
and definitely not kissed. Handling this behavior properly is of the utmost
importance.

Collective, effective communication with our sons is necessary. Working
together with sufficient knowledge and rapport, we can navigate their manly
ambitions into focused, honorable endeavors. Genuine praise and
encouragement should be offered to them daily. We must ensure our boys know
their greater charges: study diligently, learn to speak well, earn the best
grades possible so they can get low auto insurance rates, college
admissions, and good employment. Having these accomplishments will enable
them to become proud citizens, strong community leaders, family men and
outstanding role models themselves.

"The trick is not to squash the essence of boys, but to channel their
natural wildness into manliness. And this is what keeps me awake at night…
How do I raise my sons to be better than their father? ...What I'm
discovering is that as I try to guide these ornery, wild-hearted little boys
toward manhood, they are helping me become a better man, too. I love my sons
without measure, and I want them to have the father I did not. As I stumble
and sometimes fail, as I feign an interest in camping and construction and
bugs, I become something better than I was." - Tony Woodlief, Raising Wild
Boys Into Men: A Modern Dad's Survival Guide

Boys need trustworthy men in their lives especially during puberty to answer
questions about their mental and physical body changes. Men contribute
significantly to their personal growth and image enhancement. They provide
them with directions to manhood. Boys desire to be like their fathers and
other male exemplars; therefore, they need to know what qualities embody
manhood. Because of the different tests, rituals and codes of masculinity,
our boys require instructions of the various ways to become a man.

"In all our years as therapists, we have never met a boy who didn't crave
his parents' love and others' acceptance and who didn't feel crippled by
their absence or redeemed by their abundance. Strong and healthy boys are
made strong by acceptance and affirmation of their humanity. We all have a
chance to do that every day, every time we are in the presence of a boy and
we have a chance to say to him I recognize you. You are a boy — full of
life, full of dreams, full of feeling." - Michael Thompson, Ph.D. and Dan
Kindlon, Ph.D., Raising Cain: Protecting the Emotional Life of Boys

As boys mature to men, they must be taught how men conduct themselves when
they are around women, and when they are around other men. They need to
become familiar with male activities, male likes and dislikes. They need to
hear their dad say, "I love you, son." They need to hear him say, I'm
really proud of you" whether they are the top student, the top athlete or
not. They need praise and guidance, not constant put downs and reprimands.
They need to learn basic male deportment and man skills. Below are some
strategies from Raising Cain given by Doctor Thompson and Doctor Kindlon for
guiding boys along their destination to manhood.

a) Recognize and accept the high activity level of boys; provide safe boy
places
for them to express it.
b) Give boys permission to have a full range of human emotions; challenge
the
myth of the tough guy
c) Help them develop an emotional vocabulary to better understand
themselves and to better communicate with others
d) Talk to boys in their language, in a way that honors their pride and
their
masculinity
e) Establish meaningful, open relationships so your boys will begin to trust
in you
and in themselves
f) Teach boys how to initiate friendships and maintain them
g) Train them how to deal with conflicts that arise in male friendships from

different levels of athletic skill, from teasing, and from competition
for the
attention of girls
h) Use discipline to build character and conscience, not to provoke your
boys
i) Do not unduly shame, harshly punish or assault them with excessive adult

anger
j) Demonstrate to your boys what it means to be a real man

Maturation from boys to men is a destination that is often fraught with
trials, afflictions, and misunderstandings. Employment of valuable
resources such as those available through White Dove Books
(http://www.whitedovebooks.co.uk/), other personal development sources
(tapes, DVDs and programs), and also, the utilization of family and friends
can make the transition a much smoother one. Boys to men, it's a
destination not a journey.

Acting Like a Lady, and Being Treated Like One

noreply@blogger.com (The White Dove Partnership) — Thu, 26 Mar 2009 02:10:00 +0000

Transforming little girls into ladies and little boys into gentlemen is a neglected obligation around the globe. An urgent need exists for teaching females to love and honor who they are, and to become the best, most graceful ladies possible. (On the flip side, the same exists for the males.) There's an urgent need to instruct them how to become prim and proper, to teach them the art of femininity…how to walk, talk, sit, and act like a true lady: dignified, refined, cultivated, self-assured, graceful.

The female species is exquisite, desiring to be treated with special kindness. To merit this pampering, most females need to develop a new, feminine image. Real men love and gratify real, well-versed ladies; they hold them in high esteem. If you want to be treated like a lady, you must practice feeling like a lady, speaking like a lady, looking like a lady, thinking like a lady and conducting yourself as a respectable lady would. Every female can master her femininity and develop grace, good manners, poise, courtesy and politeness. For some this will be quite a challenge; but, it is doable. Where there's a determined will, there is surely a way, a means to achieve the ambition.

Often it's said that women want to be treated by their men as though they were queens. Well, if you want to be treated like a queen, you had better act like one. Note that if you act like a loose woman that is exactly how you will be treated. And no decent man wants a long term, serious relationship with an easy, immoral woman. Think with me for a moment. What kind of female are you? Are you well-mannered, considerate of others, and up-to-date regarding present happenings? Are you witty, can you cook; can you keep a clean house?

Tell me honestly; are you a true champion for your beau or the man you dream of? Can you / are you willing to satisfy him mentally, physically and spiritually? Can you become his best friend and confidant? Are you classy, sassy and well-groomed? Are you intelligent, wise and strong? Is your weight under control? Do you have a wonderful disposition? If so, I must say you are definitely a bona fide lady.

Genuine ladies work hard to change their circumstances and become quality individuals. They ultimately have wholesome lives, sound careers, successful businesses, good social skills and true happiness. Consequently, they are able to attract desirable friends, associates and mates. Do you sincerely want to be treated like a lady, as a princess, a queen? Then you must train like one. Invest time and effort in coaching / personal development to learn acceptable ladylike fundamentals.

Consider an opportunity like the online video program called UDefineU "created so that any woman can learn, step by step, how to recast herself into the woman she has always dreamt of becoming." Core topics covered are:

 Presence through Posture & Poise
 Communication Skills through Voice & Speech
 Social Graces through Etiquette
 A Signature Look through Style
 A Flawless Face through Make-up

Professional image consultants offer similar fee-based services. Other organizations to consider include The Empowered Girl Alliance and Woman Within. Of course, my favorite sources are the Internet and the Library. They are loaded with free information and guidance. As you devise your strategy, consider these tips for becoming a lady of distinction:

1. Emit confidence via your attire and good posture
2. Coordinate your wardrobe according to your body type and your skin tones
3. Always wear underwear and a proper fitting bra
4. Do not expose intimate body parts
5. Keep your knees together when sitting; cross your legs at the ankle
6. Keep in the know – be aware of current events, the latest movies, theatrical
plays, symphony or other quality musical performances, of political news,
etc.
7. Synchronize your verbal and non-verbal communication
8. Always be polite, courteous and considerate of others
9. Be seen more than you are heard
10. Choose carefully your comments and your words; never, ever use profanity

Explore who you are, your personality, mentality, spirituality, body image as well as your heartfelt aspirations. Become the lady of your choice. Look good, feel good, speak intelligently, have quality goals and command respect. In so doing, you'll become more appealing, more captivating. Confidence and positive vibes will begin to emanate from you, causing you to make great impressions on your husband, sweetheart, family, friends, employer…and even on the stranger whom you've never met.

Vow to act like a lady and be treated as one. Commit to mentoring your daughters, sisters, nieces and other female acquaintances. Teach them how to behave as ladies. Train them through precepts and illustrations.

Your Body Language Speaks Volumes About You

noreply@blogger.com (The White Dove Partnership) — Fri, 20 Mar 2009 21:47:00 +0000

"What you're doing speaks so loudly, I can hardly hear a word you're
saying". Have you ever heard that expression before? If not, I bet you
have experienced it in one way or another. Has anyone ever spoken to you
and turned his head before you could respond? Have you ever been given one
of those speed-of-light, fake smiles? Has anyone ever tried to convince you
of some fact, yet their eyes or nervousness communicated another message
entirely? Body language refers to non-verbal communications such as facial
expressions, body movements, posture, and gestures with hands, arms, and
fingers. It has a significant effect on what is communicated. It speaks
volumes about you and what you are REALLY saying.

The intent of your words and the tone of your voice should be in harmony
with your body language. Whenever feelings and emotions are communicated,
these three must be congruent for effective, meaningful non-verbal speech.
When these three elements of face-to-face communication support each other,
body language conveys the bulk of the message according to Albert Mehrabian,
UCLA Professor Emeritus of Psychology. Because of this congruency,
listeners are more likely to receive the right message and bear no mixed
feelings. The right meaning is received and the right actions can be
executed.

Henrik Edberg provides sound advice on the use of body language in these two
websites:
http://www.positivityblog.com/index.php/2006/10/26/6-reasons-to-improve-your
-body-language/ and
http://www.positivityblog.com/index.php/2006/10/27/18-ways-to-improve-your-b
ody-language/. He presents several reasons for improving body language:

1. Improve your communication skills
2. Make better first impressions
3. Significantly decrease the number of mixed messages you send
4. Increase your attractiveness
5. Better control of your emotions

Here are ways Mr. Edberg suggests body language can be enhanced:

1. Keep your head up; maintain good eye contact, but don't stare
2. Slow down a bit in your walking, talking and motions
3. Relax, calm down and focus your movements
4. Sit up straight [or stand tall], and nod occasionally
5. Don't cross your arms or legs; relax your shoulders
6. Don't stand too close or too far away
7. Genuinely smile and laugh; lighten up
8. Keep a positive, open and relaxed attitude

On the Marc and Angel Hack Life blog, a comprehensive list of non-verbal
communication gestures to avoid is posted,
(http://www.marcandangel.com/2008/07/07/25-acts-of-body-language-to-avoid/.
Following are a sample of their suggestions for developing and maintaining
proper body language via types of body movements to avoid.

1. Checking the time or inspecting your fingernails – a strong sign of
boredom.
2. Picking lint off of your clothes and looking downwards –people will
assume you disapprove of their ideas and / or feel uneasy about giving them
an honest opinion.
3. Stroking your chin while looking at someone – causes people to
assume that you're making a judgmental decision about them.
4. Narrowing your eyes – gives someone the impression that you don't
like him or his ideas. It immediately places a scowling expression on your
face.
5. Touching your face during a conversation especially on the nose – an
indication of deception. Covering the mouth is a common gesture people make
when they're lying.
6. Faking a smile – another sign of deception commonly seen on the face
of a fraud. A genuine smile wrinkles the corners of the eyes and changes
the expression of the entire face. Fake smiles only involve the mouth and
lips.
7. Leaning away from someone you like – a sign of being bored and
disinterested. People typically lean towards people they like and away from
people they dislike.
8. Not directly facing the person you're speaking with – indicates a
certain level of discomfort or a lack of interest. When you are unsure of
the other person, or not completely committed to the conversation, you tend
to angle your feet and torso to the side.
9. Crossing your arms – a sign of defensive resistance or egotism.
10. Displaying a sluggish posture – delivers a negative message
regarding your confidence and composure. Place your feet a comfortable
distance apart, keep your shoulders pulled back, head up and greet people
with direct eye contact and a firm handshake.
11. Scratching the backside of your head and neck – a sign of doubt and
uncertainty; an indication of lying.
12. Slouching your shoulders – indicates low self-esteem. Always pull
your shoulders back. Not only will you look more confident, you'll feel
more confident as well.
13. Foot and finger tapping – usually indicates stress, impatience or
boredom.
14. Using your hands to fidget with small objects – another sign of
anxiety or a lack of preparedness. Keep your hands comfortably at rest when
in the presence of others.

Non-verbal body language typically prevails over spoken words. However,
reading non-verbal signals is tricky because body language can have multiple
meanings. For example, introverts and extraverts react to different
stimulus. Crossing one's arms may mean a person is either cold or is
relaxed. Also, body language is not the same in every culture. Some
cultures believe in close proximity when talking; others more highly regard
personal space. Consequently, these observations should be used only as
guidelines for your personal image enhancement. To change your non-verbal
communication and make it more effective, you must first be aware of what
customs are acceptable in your society, and how well you align with them.

Effective, Verbal Communication: A Powerful Image Enhancer

noreply@blogger.com (The White Dove Partnership) — Thu, 19 Mar 2009 12:04:00 +0000

Always look good and speak intelligently. Before anything else you are seen and heard. If your appearance is unkempt, if your language is poor and repulsive, then immediately you are considered inferior, low-grade – even though such opinion may not mean that you really are. The issue set forth is image improvement, appearance enhancement, better communications. Attainment requires that one dresses for success and learns to speak well. Note, however, the level at which one dresses and talks varies with his prevailing objectives and environment.

Effective, verbal communications are influential, persuasive, useful, friendly, optimistic conversations that yield a powerful image and impression. A most compelling requisite exists for them. This compulsory capability implies the necessity for controlled emotions and problem-solving skills amid clearly defined hopes and expectations. Boosting communication skills, especially oral communications, improves every aspect of life:

⇨ Conversations
⇨ Careers
⇨ Ministries
⇨ Relationships
⇨ goal-setting
⇨ financial management
⇨ coaching, on and on

It is appalling to see the number of persons with college degrees who abuse their local language because of extremely poor grammar and enunciations. Good communicators speak clearly and distinctly. Their subjects and verbs agree. They know when and how to use colloquialisms and when not to use them. They know how terrible the use of poor language sounds, and the negative impact it has on its listeners. The worst way to fail at any type of interview is to go dressed inappropriately, and to speak incompetently. With dedicated effort, everyone can be clean, neat, and use good English…
Kiswahili…
Hungarian…
French…
Chinese…
German…
Arabic…
Hinduism…
Spanish…
Portuguese…
Russian…
Japanese, etc. By the way, any time you go out into the public, you go on an interview, because someone is always watching you for one reason or another.

Take command of your language usage. Listen carefully to those who speak well. Purchase books and tapes for self-study, or enroll in public or private courses. Successful people must know how to speak properly for personal growth and personal image enhancement. Using the correct speech and vocabulary provides an advantage for engaging in winning, meaningful conversations as well as negotiations. If you speak correctly, people will tend to hang around you rather than avoid you. They will tend to involve you in their activities and discussions when you know the command of your language. This opens the door for more quality relationships and learning experiences.

Effective, verbal communications require you to speak with assurance and with confidence. An open, positive frame of mind is essential. Dialogue must transpire with a sense of boldness and authority, looking the other person directly in the eyes. Know what you're talking about and be able to defend your statements with facts and other documentation as appropriate. An aura of confidence should be noticeable in your voice inflections and demeanor. To communicate differently sends a message of being uninformed, misinformed, reserved, unsure or shy - each of which is self-defeating. These are signs of weakness and insecurity.

Avoid being seen as a poor communicator, know and believe in what you are conversing about. Be passionate in your convictions; be committed and assertive. Never be afraid to say "I don't know; but, I will research the matter and respond to you promptly." And do not fear rejection; it does not diminish your self-worth nor pulverize your self-confidence unless you allow it to do so.

Remember the importance of rendering positive comments in a conversation. No one likes a pessimist. To be effective, speak on the level of the person being spoken to, and be genuinely friendly and enthusiastic. Be polite, humble and compassionate. Be considerate of others. Listening attentively as they speak. Such actions as these are the lifeblood of effective, verbal communications. Learn to listen twice as much as you speak. Minimize the subject of I, Me, My, Mine.

When meeting someone for the first time, talk with them, don't interrogate them. Repeat their name after it is given to you, and use it during the course of the conversation. These simple steps will help you remember your new acquaintance's name. When attempting to initiate a conversation, ask questions that require more than a yes or no answer. For example, "So what brings you to the B.O.S.S. The Movement Program?"

When talking with strangers, avoid controversial subject matters unless there is something specific that invites such discussion. And please, find something to talk about other than the weather. Show that you are well-rounded. Discuss captivating topics such as travel, healthy living alternatives, the eco-system, how to become financially free, Tiger Woods, the latest James Patterson or Gail Gaymer Martin novel.

Effective, verbal communication impacts all of life and is very important. Everyone can use some improvement in this area. Determine where you need to cultivate change in your verbal communication skills. Choose to make small refinements beginning right now on behalf of your personal image enhancement. Believe in yourself; believe in your value. Then you can communicate with confidence and conviction, with authority and power.

A Public Image Can be as Fragile as Humpty Dumpty

noreply@blogger.com (The White Dove Partnership) — Mon, 16 Mar 2009 18:08:00 +0000

People around the world are becoming more discerning and more intolerant of
deception and fraud. Public opinion or character impressions significantly
impact personal image, particularly where political personalities,
celebrities, business promoters, athletes, employers and religious leaders
are concerned. Nonetheless, no matter whom you are or whom you project
yourself to be, how others perceive you is worth taking note of. A public
image can be as fragile as Humpty Dumpty.

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall.
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the king's horses and all the king's men
Couldn't put Humpty Dumpty together again.

Humpty Dumpty is a late 17th century short, squatty, egg-shaped, nursery
rhyme character that fell off a wall and was, shattered. He could not be
reassembled - he could not be restored to his original condition 'again'.
The latter word suggests to us that old Humpty maybe was on the clumsy side,
somewhat careless or slothful, a major risk taker or prone to frequent
miscalculations. His fatal fall was not his first incidence.

A public image is sort of like Humpty Dumpty and can be just as easily
broken into many pieces. It can be ruined to the point of no remedy, no
recovery. It behooves each person, therefore, to make conscious efforts to
build and maintain honesty, integrity, moral character, respect and strong
self-confidence. This is accomplished through vigilant image enhancement,
self-development and personal growth. It is incumbent upon each
'individual' to master these tasks. No one else can or will do it for
another.

There are many ways to improve self-image as well as public image. The
endeavor begins with how you treat yourself. Is your diet well-balanced, is
it nutritional? Do you exercise? Do you get enough sleep, rest and
relaxation? Do you dress based upon your body shape and size or according
to the latest fads? Have you ever had a color analysis done? Do you know
the difference between casual and business attire? Can you dress for
success? Is there any balance in your day-to-day activities - education,
employment, fun, family, culture?

What kind of company do you keep? Do you hang out with quality people who
live life by design, by purpose? What are your character attributes -
selfish or unselfish, compassionate or insensitive, proactive or reactive,
benevolent or greedy, conscientious or superficial? Take a look in the
mirror and think on these things. Be honest with yourself because the
public sees the real you.

One of the pervading signs of how well a person is seen in the eyes of
others is the ability to communicate effectively. Knowing how to talk with
others both verbally and non-verbally impacts careers, friendships,
marriages as well as business partnerships. Success or failure can be
determined by one's competency in speaking with others, and in conveying
messages without leaving misunderstandings and misconceptions. Of course
this requires a pure heart and a great attitude.

Effective communication skills (clarity, assertiveness, attentiveness,
confidence, positiveness, good listener, risk taker) enhance the total
person. They radiate an image of admiration and respectfulness. Public
image approval is exuded when individuals are regarded as trustworthy; as
having wisdom, good judgment, warmheartedness, power, and authority. The
capacity to talk with sincerity and clarity opens the door to public trust,
it creates good posture; but, it alone does not permanently position one as
a popular public figure.

If someone becomes stuck on himself and his own personal advancement, if his
or her body language contradicts his verbal message, if he becomes careless,
if he takes too many risks - he or she will fall off the wall just as Humpty
Dumpty did. His reputation will crumble. Family, friends, neighbors,
co-workers and even strangers will hold him or her in disdain. This
personal image may be salvageable or it may not - depending upon the level
of distrust created.

For assurance of success in developing and preserving a good public image,
do something positive and constructive each day. Work diligently for a
better personality, good manners, greater communication skills, and also,
an enhanced knowledge base. For improved personal growth, make a difference
in your community by rendering volunteer services. Read something
inspirational every morning. Strive every day to be the best individual you
can be, because a public image really can be as fragile as Humpty Dumpty.

Cell Phonitis - Have You Got It?

noreply@blogger.com (The White Dove Partnership) — Wed, 11 Mar 2009 18:22:00 +0000

Do you have a cell phone? Yeah I know, brilliant question.So tell, me are
you polite and courteous with its usage? Or are you one of those "I've got
to have it - can't live without my cell phone" kind of persons. If it rings
and you're at the gate talking with St. Peter, he's got to excuse you a
minute while you take your phone call. Come on, give it to me straight;
come clean with me now.

Once upon a time, cell phones were relegated to the rich and famous. It
really was a status symbol to have a mobile phone back in the day. But no
more; cell phone users now sweep the globe. According to the International
Telecommunication Union, a Geneva, Switzerland based regulatory agency,
"developing countries now account for about two-thirds of cell phones in
use." At the end of 2008, there were an estimated 4.1 billion cell phone
subscribers around this whole wide world. (Cell-Phone Use Spreads Among
World's Poor, AP / Frank Jordans;
http://www.time.com/time/world/article/0,8599,1882564,00.html).

This breaking news probably bursts a few bubbles because some folks are
still under the illusion that having a cell phone is big stuff. (Perhaps
that's why we observe so many people walking the streets talking on their
phones - or pretending to anyway - instead of watching where they're going
and being aware of their environment.) Everybody's carrying a cell phone
these days - even adolescents. It's just no big deal to haul one around
anymore. Cell phones do not work wonders for your personal or professional
image even if they are the top of the line technology

The real issue here is the condition of cell phonitis. It's characterized
as the disease that causes one to always check for phone calls, voice mail
and text messages and then get plumb sick when there are none. It's that
ailment that recommends you not associate with people who are not
tech-savvy. It's that issue that makes one wear his or her Bluetooth
earpiece as a status symbol to look important.

Cell phonitis - that's the psychological malady that causes one to send text
messages from the bathroom, the dinner table, the board room or the pulpit.
It has provoked total obliteration of budding, romantic relationships. Like
nicotine, it takes control and prompts its carriers to talk on the phone
anytime and anywhere. It will make you stop dead in the middle of a
conversation to answer your cell phone.

Persons with cell phonitis talk loud and hold conversations inappropriate
for a public hearing. There's a burning desire to be constantly in the know
and plugged into the electronic grapevine. There's a controlling need to be
connected, to be available for any and everyone that chooses to call. With
cell phonitis, people have become over users or cell phone addicts. They
become agitated when they have to turn their cell phones off. A person with
cell phonitis starts tripping big time when they forget and leave their
phone home on the charger and don't have time to run back and retrieve it.
It's a serious condition, ya'll. Have you got it?

If one of your goals in life is to be professional, politically correct or
just plain old polite, I recommend you take immediate steps to curtail your
cell phone dependency and follow these guidelines for cell phone courtesy.
You can find them with nice graphics at Dan Briody's Info World web site:
Ten Commandments of Cell Phone Etiquette,
http://www.infoworld.com/slideshow/2007/03/63-ten_commandment-7.html.

1. Thou shalt not dial while driving

2. Thou shalt not wear thy earpiece when thou art not on thy phone

3. Thou shalt not speak louder on thy cell phone than thou would on any
other phone

4. Thou shalt not grow too attached to thy cell phone

5. Thou shalt not slam thy cell phone down on a restaurant table just in
case it rings

6. Thou shalt not make the cell phone more important than the company thou
art keeping

7. Thou shalt not leave the cell phone ringing just to show off the "cool"
ringtones or refrain from answering for that same reason

8. Thou shalt turn off thy cell phone at funerals, weddings, yoga class, and
anywhere it would be unacceptable to bring a screaming child

9. Thou shalt not have a message intro lasting more than 15 seconds

10. Thou shalt never answer your phone while you're in the bathroom

Here are four of my favorite commandments that he expresses in detail. They
are quoted from this site:
http://www.infoworld.com/articles/op/xml/00/05/26/000526opwireless.html.

a) Thou shalt not subject defenseless others to cell phone conversations.
When people cannot escape the banality of your conversation, such as on the
bus, in a cab, on a grounded airplane, or at the dinner table, you should
spare them. People around you should have the option of not listening. If
they don't, you shouldn't be babbling.

b) Thou shalt not set thy ringer to play La Cucaracha every time thy phone
rings. Or Beethoven's Fifth, or the Bee Gees, or any other annoying melody.

c) Thou shalt turn thy cell phone off during public performances. I'm not
even sure this one needs to be said, but given the repeated violations of
this heretofore unwritten law, I felt compelled to include it.

d) Thou shalt not wear more than two wireless devices on thy belt. This
hasn't become a big problem yet. But with plenty of techno-jockeys sporting
pagers and phones, Batman-esque utility belts are sure to follow. Let's nip
this one in the bud.

It just doesn't get any clearer than that! As Dan says, this list is a
living organism and is ever-changing. Avoid cell phonitis by simply using
common sense and common courtesy - it is not rocket science.

Gloria

You Are What You Think You Are - Maybe It's Time to Change Your Perception

noreply@blogger.com (The White Dove Partnership) — Wed, 11 Mar 2009 03:02:00 +0000

King Solomon wrote in Proverbs 23:7, “As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he.” From the infant stage, too many of you were told, “You’re no good; you’ll never amount to anything.” For some, you heard this pessimism so much that you began to believe it. When you believed it you began to act it out. Someone condemned you or perhaps someone you know to worthlessness and doom. Someone - maybe your mother, father, sister, brother or so-called friend - said you were dumb and retarded, and you accepted the sentence. You believed their lies and now you think that you are hopeless.

Let’s put the brakes on that train of thought right now. You’ve got to believe in yourself when no one else does; because, you’re what you think you are. “Whatever the mind of man can conceive and believe, it can achieve. Thoughts are things! And powerful things at that, when mixed with definiteness of purpose, and burning desire, [they] can be translated into riches...I know that I have the ability to achieve the object of my Definite Purpose in life; therefore, I demand of myself persistent, continuous action toward its attainment, and I here and now promise to render such action.” - Napoleon Hill

1. If you believe you can be a success, and work assiduously then a success you will become.

2. If you believe you can become a professional athlete because you have exceptional athletic ability, you’re coachable and have a good team spirit, then most likely you will become a professional athlete.

3. If you’re handicapped, disabled, jobless, unmarried, dark skinned, physically unattractive and you think you’re all washed up, then you are because your mentality is hindering your victory.

4. What you sustain in your mind tremendously affects your aspirations and attitude. Your attitude influences the level of your faith. It determines whether you can or you can’t; whether you will or you won’t.

5. If you’re encumbered with negative thinking, you are an obstacle unto yourself. Maybe it’s time you changed your perception. You are what you think you are.

There may be days when you get up in the morning and things aren't the way you had hoped they would be, that's when you have to tell yourself that things will get better. There are times when people disappoint you and let you down, but those are the times when you must remind yourself to trust your own judgments and opinions, to keep your life focused on believing in yourself and all that you are capable of. There will be challenges to face and changes to make in your life, and it is up to you to accept them.

Constantly keep yourself headed in the right direction for you. It may not be easy at times, but in those times of struggle you will find a stronger sense of who you are, So when the days come that are filled with frustration and unexpected responsibilities, remember to believe in yourself and all you want your life to be, because the challenges and changes will only help you to find the goals that you know are meant to come true for you. Keep believing in yourself. Believe in Yourself, Author Unknown

Think uplifting thoughts. You can acquire whatever you set your mind to attain. You can dream and realize those dreams. James Allen, author of the book, As a Man Thinketh, wrote “You are today where your thoughts have brought you; you will be tomorrow where your thoughts take you...The will to do springs from the knowledge that we can do. All that a man achieves, and all that he fails to achieve is the direct result of his own thoughts. As he thinks, so he is; as he continues to think, so he remains.“ Indeed, it is time to change your perception.

Gloria

Give Life Your Best Effort

noreply@blogger.com (The White Dove Partnership) — Tue, 10 Mar 2009 23:41:00 +0000

Life is a precious and time-bound privilege. No one knows the day or the hour when it will cease to be as we currently know it. This existence is by no means a haphazard decision, so doesn’t it just make sense to give it your best effort? Focus on being the icon that YOU truly are and the other aspects of life will unfold before you.

A compliant, lively, pleasant child stands out and attracts the favor of his parents, his teachers, his pets and even some of his siblings. This child goes on to become a responsible student, adult, spouse, parent, employee / employer as well as a devoted member of his or her community. The task is not an easy one. Life is filled with contrariness. Even so, it presents wonderful challenges that make us strong, resilient, obedient and unified.

Look in the mirror; behold your good traits, and your bad ones, too. Take note of your strengths and your weaknesses.

* Center your attention on the positive – your good qualities, your strengths

* Strive to rid yourself of bad attributes and overcome your imperfections

* Know that life is a process, a cultivating journey

* Achieve maximum success with constant attention to duty, and unselfish living

* ‘Know thyself’

* Understand your unique abilities and distinguishing qualities

* Accept your limitations, disposition, and temperament

* Follow your dreams, seek your desires

Taking these actions will enable you to accomplish a sound personal image and lifestyle. To get there, however, many steps must be taken; many bruises and setbacks experienced, along with compromises, internal and external enhancements, failures, more failures, victory and then enjoyment. Remember to consider costs and consequences for every choice made.

Faith and hope must be held steadfast even amidst torrential downpours and the devastating storms of life.

Endeavor to keep hope alive and triumph over challenges with prayer and positive, realistic thinking. Keep hope alive and hold fast to your dreams so they can become realities by preparing yourself for daily competitions with the enemy and with dream stealers. This is how we give life our best!

Work hard like the little ant and be sure to save for winter and the famine. Spend time with quality folks. Associate with like-minded people who operate with sound goals and purposes. Make time to reach out and lend a helping hand to the poor and needy. But by the grace of God, you could be in their position. When our brothers and sisters are down, we work together and pull them up. Thus, the family wins. The village, the town and the nation win when we work as a team and endeavor to do our very best.

* Good, persistent efforts yield good, consistent results.

* Good eating habits support good health, weight management, mental and physical stamina.

* Daily exercise helps you to de-stress, sleep well at night, have healthy bones, good blood pressure and cholesterol levels as well as a healthy heart.

* Reading spiritual and motivational books for at least 30 minutes a day helps to keep you vibrant and adequately focused

* A positive attitude allows you to make firm, accountable decisions

These are the actions that breed a wholesome lifestyle and constantly strengthen your persona. So give life your best and your sunny days will outweigh your cloudy days. Give life your best and your priorities will be properly aligned, your career will soar, your relationships at home, in the workplace, and around the world will be enriched.

Commit daily to giving life your best. Your image will be continuously enhanced - and you’ll become a stronger, more powerful man or woman. You will be capable of making valuable contributions to the society in which you live. Be the best person you can; give life your best effort for with God all things are possible.

Gloria

It's Going to be an Exciting Adventure

noreply@blogger.com (The White Dove Partnership) — Tue, 10 Mar 2009 23:07:00 +0000

It’s Going to be an Exciting Adventure

Dear Readers,

What a delightful opportunity to join White Dove Books and provide blogging posts for you. My task is to supply you with a personal image blog. I’ll share with you my thoughts regarding image enhancement and lifestyle. This is a broad subject that will encompass a wide array of topics such as:

1) building self-confidence
2) presentation skills for meetings, job searches, and interviews
3) visual impact and improving your personal image
4) choosing the right mate, profession, automobile or wardrobe
5) body language and word power
6) financial peace and security
7) making friends, dating and developing social etiquette

It’s really going to be an exciting adventure; one that I sincerely look forward to beginning. As we start our expedition together, please keep in mind that I will be writing for your satisfaction, enjoyment and enrichment. This is all about you. Please do not hesitate to interact with me by leaving your comments and subject matter requests (gloriadonaldson12@gmail.com). Mine will be the honor of responding to you promptly and resolutely. I will give you the utmost respect, and ask that you will reciprocate in kind.

Gloria

New Expert Author

noreply@blogger.com (The White Dove Partnership) — Sun, 08 Mar 2009 15:06:00 +0000

First of all, I would like to thank Chloe - our outgoing author for her help in getting this Blog started. Her contributions have been greatly appreciated and we wish her good luck in her future endeavours online.

That said, the Image Enhancement Blog now has a new Expert Author. I am pleased to welcome Gloria Donaldson to the chair. Posts made here, from today's date onward, are by Gloria. I am really looking forward to reading her Blog over the coming weeks.

POWER COACHING: How To Make It Work

noreply@blogger.com (The White Dove Partnership) — Thu, 25 Sep 2008 02:41:00 +0000

First, understand that coaching works beautifully when it's a gradient,
step-by-step approach and is an integrated part of a larger leadership
development program for executives, or an intentional life plan for
personal fulfillment for individuals in life coaching.

Trained coaches are not emotionally attached to your life or work. They
are not tied to the organization, your friends, or family, therefore,
they are committed to you, and they support you and your big picture.
The best are extremely present and able to hear what you say and what
you don't say—verbally and non-verbally.

Dynamic coaches have a special capacity to educe tremendous
breakthroughs from their clients; helping them to identify and seize
transformational opportunities, and monitor their progress. The best are
also able to evoke excellence from their clients and suggest new and
vital ideas based on the client's pure potentiality. They know how to
ask the right questions through a cutting-edge coaching technique called
processing.

After working with a masterful coach you will become savvier and quicker
in accomplishing your goals and reaching your determined ideal. You will
become dynamic, effective, efficient and productive.

The Top 5 Reasons to Hire an Executive or Life Coach

1. A masterful coach has the tools and talent to help you live your life
by design by helping you discover your life's purpose and assisting you
in creating an intentional life plan to make good on it.

2. A masterful coach will educate you in developing your personality,
your potentiality and your passions to become dynamic and full of
life—electrifying and magnetic. You will be able to customize your
options for careers and career advancements will be overflowing.

3. Because you've been created to be, do and have the best. Working just
to get by or for a paycheck destroys your spirit and makes you feel less
than, average or mediocre. With a determined ideal and an intentional
life plan you can create the most dynamic new possibilities for living a
fulfilled and prosperous life; a life that you will absolutely love.

4. Top executives, athletes, entertainers, students, authors, preachers,
and countless others get to the top of their worthwhile life games with
coaches who encourage, challenge and support them to be their best.

5. Utilizing the expertise of a masterful executive or life coaching
program through a gradient step-by-step approach has the potential to
help you to create dynamic new futures and change the world by playing
your big worthwhile life game. Are you ready?

If you're ready to break-out and start playing your "A" game then it
just might be a good time to consider hiring a POWER Coach.

Chloé Taylor Brown
Life By Design POWER Coach
www.totalimageenhancement.com

Executive, Career, Life, Performance, Relationships, Sports... Are You Ready To Hire A Personal Development Coach?

noreply@blogger.com (The White Dove Partnership) — Wed, 24 Sep 2008 03:38:00 +0000

Executive, career, life, performance, relationships, sports, you name it, personal development and executive coaching has caught on—and in a big way.

From the largest corporations and mid-sized businesses, to top professionals in every city and genre across the USA, from individuals in transition, to socialites and entrepreneurs—many are experiencing the value and benefits from working with a coach. Executive and life coaching have become powerful interventions on the individual and corporate level, let's face it; many of us could use a spirited edge in reaching our full potential.

The best coaches help you to unleash your personal power. This power can then be directed to any or all areas of your life, including personally, professionally, spiritually, relationally, aesthetically and environmentally—it is up to you and/or your organization. The best will help you to gain awareness and clarity. From this premise you should be able to, Determine Your Ideal for your life—your purpose, which will then become your platform to start setting personal goals based on your big picture.

Executive coaching is usually part of a larger initiative and is a partnership among executive, coach, and the organization; linking back to the strategic organizational objectives. Today, executives have come to see the enormous value in coaching, both for themselves as well as for their organizations. Most top performers have coaches—in fact; coaching is now seen as a normal or even a high-prestige development activity. If the coaching is successful it leaves executives and professionals with real and lasting benefits; providing an opportunity for directive reflection, purposeful communication, clean slating, positive processing, evaluation and feedback, and above all, the platform to be and become a better, more dynamic and focused leader.

Coaching empowers individuals and small groups to:
➢ Turn passions and natural life-flow into strengths
➢ Unleash personal power
➢ Create timely and targeted strategies for improving less-developed skills
➢ Develop workable support systems to see the client and/or the organization win

Who then, can benefit from one-on-one or small group coaching?

Ask yourself: Am I playing my "A" Game? Are there areas in my life where I would like to improve? Are there skills I need to refine in order to advance in my personal life or through my organization? Could I benefit from a truthful outside perspective? Do I need help gaining clarity about the big picture for my life? Could I greatly benefit from being encouraged and being held accountable to accomplish my big picture?

Your answers to these questions should help you make an appropriate choice in moving forward with the coach that's right for you.

Live life fabulously,
Chloé Taylor Brown

Word Power: Build Credibility And Success Using Verbal and Non Verbal Communication

noreply@blogger.com (The White Dove Partnership) — Tue, 09 Sep 2008 19:41:00 +0000

Did you know the way you speak and the words you use can set you apart
and give you power and credibility? That's right, words are powerful!
Knowing the right words to say and when to say them are priceless. But
the tone in which you speak and convey your messages, along with your
body language, communicates much more about you than words alone. Your
tone can convey your mood level—how much energy you have and what you're
really thinking and feeling.

Verbal communication accounts for seven percent of how others may
perceive you. About thirty-eight percent of how you are perceived
depends on the tone of your voice. The largest portion of communication,
fifty-five percent, is visual or non-verbal—your appearance and how you
look.

Even though only seven percent of your message is transmitted through
words, you had better believe that these words are extremely important.
No matter how well groomed you are-if you can't speak properly, you
won't project your best image. Instead, you'll be perceived as lacking
formal education, untrustworthy and somewhat incompetent, which will
probably stop you from living the life of your dreams.

It's important to have the language, words and symbols to express what
you feel, believe and want in life. Therefore, don't skip over words you
read or hear in conversations that you're unfamiliar with. Instead, look
them up in the dictionary or use an online dictionary right
away-otherwise you'll miss an opportunity to open up a whole new realm
of possibilities for yourself through word power. Even if you believe
you've been mis-educated you can still learn to express yourself
eloquently and effectively with practice. Don't be shamed by looking
fabulous... that is, until you open your mouth and out spews
mispronounced words that are used incorrectly-you'll run the risk of
losing your credibility.

Ask Yourself These Questions:

• How is the quality of my voice?
• Can I turn the volume up and down as I please?
• Do I speak too rapidly, leaving others in the conversation to
repeatedly ask me to repeat myself?
• Do I speak too slowly, leaving others wanting to complete my sentences
for me?

Your Verbal Communication Goals:

• To perfect your verbal communication skills
• To come across as intelligent, confident and self-assured
• To be energetic and expressive verbally
• To use colorful words that express your feelings
• To paint pictures with your words
• To make sure your message is not distorted or ignored by using poor
diction

Become a dynamic communicator by painting vivid pictures with your
words.

Chloé Taylor Brown
www.chloetaylorbrown.com