The intent of your words and the tone of your voice should be in harmony
with your body language. Whenever feelings and emotions are communicated,
these three must be congruent for effective, meaningful non-verbal speech.
When these three elements of face-to-face communication support each other,
body language conveys the bulk of the message according to Albert Mehrabian,
UCLA Professor Emeritus of Psychology. Because of this congruency,
listeners are more likely to receive the right message and bear no mixed
feelings. The right meaning is received and the right actions can be
executed.

Henrik Edberg provides sound advice on the use of body language in these two
websites:
http://www.positivityblog.com/index.php/2006/10/26/6-reasons-to-improve-your
-body-language/ and
http://www.positivityblog.com/index.php/2006/10/27/18-ways-to-improve-your-b
ody-language/. He presents several reasons for improving body language:

1. Improve your communication skills
2. Make better first impressions
3. Significantly decrease the number of mixed messages you send
4. Increase your attractiveness
5. Better control of your emotions

Here are ways Mr. Edberg suggests body language can be enhanced:

1. Keep your head up; maintain good eye contact, but don't stare
2. Slow down a bit in your walking, talking and motions
3. Relax, calm down and focus your movements
4. Sit up straight [or stand tall], and nod occasionally
5. Don't cross your arms or legs; relax your shoulders
6. Don't stand too close or too far away
7. Genuinely smile and laugh; lighten up
8. Keep a positive, open and relaxed attitude

On the Marc and Angel Hack Life blog, a comprehensive list of non-verbal
communication gestures to avoid is posted,
(http://www.marcandangel.com/2008/07/07/25-acts-of-body-language-to-avoid/.
Following are a sample of their suggestions for developing and maintaining
proper body language via types of body movements to avoid.

1. Checking the time or inspecting your fingernails – a strong sign of
boredom.
2. Picking lint off of your clothes and looking downwards –people will
assume you disapprove of their ideas and / or feel uneasy about giving them
an honest opinion.
3. Stroking your chin while looking at someone – causes people to
assume that you're making a judgmental decision about them.
4. Narrowing your eyes – gives someone the impression that you don't
like him or his ideas. It immediately places a scowling expression on your
face.
5. Touching your face during a conversation especially on the nose – an
indication of deception. Covering the mouth is a common gesture people make
when they're lying.
6. Faking a smile – another sign of deception commonly seen on the face
of a fraud. A genuine smile wrinkles the corners of the eyes and changes
the expression of the entire face. Fake smiles only involve the mouth and
lips.
7. Leaning away from someone you like – a sign of being bored and
disinterested. People typically lean towards people they like and away from
people they dislike.
8. Not directly facing the person you're speaking with – indicates a
certain level of discomfort or a lack of interest. When you are unsure of
the other person, or not completely committed to the conversation, you tend
to angle your feet and torso to the side.
9. Crossing your arms – a sign of defensive resistance or egotism.
10. Displaying a sluggish posture – delivers a negative message
regarding your confidence and composure. Place your feet a comfortable
distance apart, keep your shoulders pulled back, head up and greet people
with direct eye contact and a firm handshake.
11. Scratching the backside of your head and neck – a sign of doubt and
uncertainty; an indication of lying.
12. Slouching your shoulders – indicates low self-esteem. Always pull
your shoulders back. Not only will you look more confident, you'll feel
more confident as well.
13. Foot and finger tapping – usually indicates stress, impatience or
boredom.
14. Using your hands to fidget with small objects – another sign of
anxiety or a lack of preparedness. Keep your hands comfortably at rest when
in the presence of others.

Non-verbal body language typically prevails over spoken words. However,
reading non-verbal signals is tricky because body language can have multiple
meanings. For example, introverts and extraverts react to different
stimulus. Crossing one's arms may mean a person is either cold or is
relaxed. Also, body language is not the same in every culture. Some
cultures believe in close proximity when talking; others more highly regard
personal space. Consequently, these observations should be used only as
guidelines for your personal image enhancement. To change your non-verbal
communication and make it more effective, you must first be aware of what
customs are acceptable in your society, and how well you align with them.