All single mothers are not the same. There are some mothers who treat their
sons like little girls, and cast them into an identity crisis; nonetheless,
there are other moms who do not. Conscientious single mothers do what's best
for their sons despite the sacrifices demanded. So where do they begin?
They accept their circumstances and vow to raise their sons successfully.
These single moms help their boys advance to the men they're destined to
become. This is accomplished by adhering to well thought out action plans,
and by not depending solely upon their own efforts.
ACTION ONE: Single moms pray daily that God will enable them to become
excellent mothers and help them to raise their sons in a way that meets His
approval. When appropriate, they lead their sons to the Lord for salvation.
They pray that God will endow them with knowledge, wisdom, understanding,
and with every essential skill and ability. They ask God to direct their
sons' pathways, order their steps. guide them in their living, in their
choice of friends, their career and in their selection of a wife. They take
them to church and Sunday or Sabbath School.
ACTION TWO: Single mothers motivate fathers to participate in their sons'
lives and become their role models. They do all they can to help these men
establish strong bonds with their sons and foster frequent father-son
activities. They seek additional positive role models in grandfathers,
uncles, coaches, teachers, etc., to mentor their sons. Assistance is
recruited from church, male neighbors, karate clubs, or from organizations
such as the Boy Scouts of America, Big Brothers, and the Boys to Men
ACTION THREE: Single moms help their sons develop suitable, written goals
and ambitions. They make them accountable, help them monitor their
progress, and revise their plans when necessary. They teach them optimism,
compassion, ethics and respect. They help them to be responsible, to become
pro-active instead of reactive, and to handle the differing issues of life.
ACTION FOUR: Single mothers teach their sons how to choose quality friends
with comparable values and goals, and how to establish good relationships.
They get to know their sons' friends, and the friends' parents. They allow
them to invite their friends over for dinner or to spend the night. They
make certain their sons attend lots of male oriented functions where they
can interact with committed, conscientious men and boost their self-esteem.
ACTION FIVE: Single moms raising boys keep their wits about them. They
work to understand their sons' struggles, reassuring them as needed,
discussing what the destination to manhood entails and what it does not -
leaving certain facts to be handled by their male confidants. They strive
not to be overly-protective of their sons.
ACTION SIX: Single mothers don't criticize their sons' fathers, nor express
negative views about men in their presence. They encourage their sons as
much as possible to love and respect their fathers. They make it a point to
highlight the positive qualities in men using the media and real live
examples. Their sons' importance to them is reinforced again and again
because they love them unconditionally.. They realize that their sons will
respond to their values differently than they do because they are males.
ACTION SEVEN: Single moms don't expect their sons to be the men around the
house; however, they do require them to share in the household chores, in
the household finances and operations. Consequently, they pay their sons
commissions based on the completion of their tasks, but not weekly
allowances. They instill organizational skills in their boys by helping
them design and manage their chores using written lists. And they always
remember to praise their achievements, and tell their boys how proud they
are of them.
ACTION EIGHT: Single mothers talk with their sons regularly and create an
environment for open communication. They are aware of what's going on in
their boys' lives and constantly track their actions. They show interest in
their activities, teach their sons how to resolve conflicts, and encourage
them to face their fears. They help them with their homework, play games
with them, and plan outings with them. They, also, limit the amount of time
they can spend watching television and playing computer games.
ACTION NINE: Single moms stay connected with their sons' schools, their
teachers and parent-teacher associations. They encourage their boys' to get
involved in extracurricular activities such as band, soccer, chorus,
basketball, football, the yearbook staff, or the debate club. This is done
to help their boys' discover and develop their individual strengths,
abilities and talents. It's done to encourage them to be men of honor and
ACTION TEN: Single mothers love all of their children and spend quality
time with each of them. They, also, take time to relax and unwound. They
find a few quiet moments for refreshment and restoration.
Being a single mother is extremely challenging. Determination, tenacity,
personal growth and development help them to survive victoriously. Thereby,
their images are enhanced, and likewise, the images of their sons are
improved. With persistence, boldness and support from compassionate family
and friends, single mothers help their sons to transition from boys to
hopeful, confident, courageous men. They provide their sons with a healthy
passage to manhood.