F: Have you made any new year resolutions?

Me: Not really. I guess my only resolution is not to make any resolutions. (I chuckled, she didn't). What about you?

F: What's the point? Something's bound to happen to make sure they don't work out.

Me (cringing inside): Maybe you should just make a resolution to be happy.

And that, dear reader, was the absolute worse thing I could have said. The reception from the other end of the line was so frosty that icicles dripped through the phone. Okay, so maybe that's a slight exaggeration, but you get my point!

It made me think, though. When we make a resolution, we are making a firm decision, ie resolving, to do/not do something specific. Logically speaking, therefore, the only person responsible for ensuring a resolution is successful (or not) is the person who made it.

If you make a resolution to be happy ! (or happier than the year before), who's responsible for your ultimate happiness? You. And that's where the buck stops. No-one can make you feel happy – only you can do that. And no-one can make you feel miserable, either – you have ownership of that feeling as well.

Confident, self-assured people don't look to others for happiness. Of course, being around certain people make us happy (that's one of the reasons we have friends) BUT think about it for a moment … what exactly is it that your friends do to bring you joy?

Then consider this: Happiness is a quality that produces an emotion which impacts on your behaviour which contributes to your state of mind.

It isn't events or people that cause you to feel happy, it's how you think about those events and people that fuels your emotions.

I have to admit to having no patience at all with people who continually complain about anything and everything. And to be honest, there have been many times in ! my past where I've just snapped, "If you don't like it, do som! ething a bout it!"

I just don't understand why anyone would want to spend their lives being miserable. Just think of what could be achieved if the energy expended on being unhappy was used on activities which brought pleasure!

In a rotten relationship? Get out! Sure it's going to hurt like heck for a while BUT at least you now have the opportunity to meet someone who will appreciate you. Ask yourself why you stay. I'm sure you will be able to come up with a million and one reasons to remain where you are – and then find one reason why you shouldn't!

In a job you hate? Change it! There has been far too much research that shows that being in a job you hate can make you very sick .. and that's in addition to the stress which accumulates. Consider yourself a dormant volcano – because there will come a time when this situation will make you explode.

Sometimes relationships and jobs can be improved by talking things through with your antagonist. And yes, someti! mes they can't. It isn't easy breaking away from bad situations. However, there are many people who have done … are doing … and will do … just that. Why not read my article "Breaking Free" – it will give you some tips on how to make the transition from a bad situation to a good one.

Resolve to be happy. Resolve to change what makes you miserable. Resolve to take ownership for your feelings … your behaviour … your state of mind.

Make this YOUR year. Make a plan – decide what you want and GO FOR IT! Make a To Do list – and put YOUR happiness at the top of it. Make a point of jotting down each day (in a small notebook) one thing that made you laugh, chuckle or smile – it will be a useful read when you have a 'down' day. Make a list of those hobbies/pastimes/activities that you used to do – and take at least one of them up again.

And do you know why making a commitment to be happy is a great new year resolution? Because you deserve the very best that Life ! has to offer you.

I wish you much joy and happiness for! 2010.