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In my last article I talked about the importance of self-esteem and how it is a crucial element in our success for living empowered lives. It is important to remember that we can still be self-critical and have good self-esteem at the same time. We do this by not generalising about our mistakes and weaknesses to include everything about ourselves. So, how can you improve your self-esteem? Well, here are ten ways for you to consider:
1. Make an effort to improve the way you talk to yourself. Say positive things to yourself rather than negative. There is a difference between saying, "I am a totally worthless human being because last week I was rude to the in-laws, and that means I will always be hopeless." (low self-esteem) and "I behaved really badly last night with those specific people at that specific time." This accepts responsibility but doesn't damn one's whole personality and life as worthless (good self-esteem). Remember this: your mind is like a computer – what you programme into it, stays there!
2. Give yourself credit for everything you do well. It is important for you to celebrate your achievements, no matter how small you think they are. Not only will it help your self-esteem, it will boost your self-confidence. Think of it like this: there cannot be oak trees without acorns – which just goes to show how something small can become something big and majestic!
3. Face your fears one at a time. Slowly and gently is the way to do it. Take one fear and conquer it before you move on to the next one. The more you do this, the better you'll feel about yourself. Tip: Start with your least important fear first, because it will be the easiest to overcome. And once you've done that, work your way up to conquering the greatest fear you have.
4. Forgive yourself for your mistakes. Okay, so you did something not right at a particular time – will you do the same thing again? Probably not. That's the beauty of making a mistake – you learn what you can from it …. and then you let i! t go. Re member: We ALL make mistakes – it's what we do about them that counts.
5. Set realistic goals for yourself. There's a saying: Rome wasn't built in a day, which makes great advice for everyone all these years after Rome's founding. A realistic goal is one which can be broken down into small, easy-to-manage steps. As you complete each step, you are just that bit closer to reaching your goal. The key to success is not to give up! Tip: If you find any step difficult, break it down again into three or four more manageable activities.
6. Join a club. Getting involved in a team sport or service organization is a sure-fire way to boost your self-esteem. This is a great way to make new friends and do something enjoyable at the same time. Tip: www.meetup.com offers a wide variety of interest groups. No matter what your interest, there's sure to be a Meetup group available for you to join!
7. Take up a new hobby. Becoming creative works the right side of the brain – which will help balance the negative talk you give yourself. If you spend your free time being creative with your hands, you'll have less time to tell yourself negative things. Tip: If you're not ready to take up a new hobby, become reacquainted with an old one.
8. Help someone in your community. Nothing makes a person feel good about themselves like being a volunteer. Today's volunteers help with the environment, run Girl Guide and Boy Scout troupes, and fix makeup for hospital-bound patients just to name a few. There's no end to the possibilities which await you. Idea: Contact your local council or the Red Cross.
9. Rope in friends and family to help you raise your self-esteem. It's always easier to raise your self-esteem if you don't have to do it all on your own. Allow yourself to respect these people and be respected by them. Hint: You will have to be honest about all your feelings if you want to make headway.
10. Make a decision today to take responsibility for your self-esteem. Other people may influence ! the way you feel about yourself, but only you can accept those influences. The degree to which you are valued is up to you!
Here's to your success!!
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * About the author: Barbara Rose is a mentor, coach, teacher and alternative therapist who specializes in helping people reach their potential at all levels (spiritual, emotional, mental and physical). Please visit www.barbaras-library.com for a complete list of Barbara's articles and books. Or go to www.barbara-rose.name to find out more about Barbara and her services.
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