I say, 'sad fact' because when we worry about what we want to say,
we are denying a piece of ourselves – and we are being dishonest. We
are being dishonest not only to the other person but also to our self.
Too many people in my past have said they wish they had my courage …
the courage to say what they think.
Funnily enough, I am always surprised by this because I don't believe
it does take courage! I believe in honesty and for me, saying what I
think is just one aspect of integrity. That doesn't mean for one
moment that I intentionally hurt people. If giving an honest answer is
going to hurt someone's feelings, I invariably temper what I say.
(See what I mean – we are inclined to tailor our thoughts to meet the
expectations of the person to whom we are speaking!)
I wouldn't, for example, tell my best friend that her hideous new
dress looks great on her. I'd probably say something like, "Well,
it's interesting!". At this point, though, I should point out that
my best friend likes to drag me to the shops when she wants to buys
something for a special occasion because, "I can rely on you to be
honest!"
Meetings are one of the worst places to be. Too many people are
reluctant to express an opinion, especially if it is counter to the
current thinking in the group. Instead of saying what they think,
people are inclined to say absolutely nothing at all. Are you one of
those people?
Personally, I can think of nothing worse than leaving a meeting where
agreements were reached that I disagreed with … but did not voice my
opinion.
Seething about it only expends negative energy – and life's too
short to engage in this type of activity!
A couple of months ago, I had to renew my car licence. This particular
government office has chairs, so seven of us waited patiently for our
turn. The lady sitting next to me started talking, saying she'd been
waiting for almost an hour.
Just a couple of minutes later, a young woman walked in, went up to the
empty counter and was served immediately. Wow! The tension in the
little office became so thick, so quickly, that a chainsaw would have
been needed to cut through it!
Did anyone say anything? No! Did they all sit scowl, grimace and
mutter unrepeatable words? Of course.
Personally, I wasn't worried - I had just told my neighbour that I
couldn't afford to wait for an hour, and had decided to leave and
return the following day.
Naturally, as she'd been waiting so long, she let rip about how unfair
it was that the young woman had been served.
And my "Why don't you say something?" was met with the frostiest
glare I've received in a very long time.
When you choose not to say what you think, you are giving away your
personal power. You are allowing another person/other people (depending
on the circumstances) to take something which is not theirs.
Take it back!
Saying what you think is NOT being offensive; it's being honest.
About the author: Barbara Rose is a writer with a passion for
everything! She is also a mentor, coach, teacher and alternative
therapist who specializes in helping people reach their potential at all
levels (spiritual, emotional, mental, and physical). Please visit
www.barbaras-library.com for a complete list of Barbara's articles and
books. To find out more about Barbara please go to
www.barbara-rose.name.
