Let's consider beliefs first.

How did you reach the conclusion that the beliefs you had were limiting
you? Did you write down a list, for example, and decide they were wrong
for you?

If not, do it now.

Head up the sheet with your limiting belief, eg What I learned about
money, and make a list.

Perhaps you grew up with "money doesn't grow on trees" or "money
is the root of all evil" (this phrase is a distortion of 'the love
of money is the root of all evil', and doesn't actually refer to
money itself), or money being referred to as "filthy lucre".

Perhaps your mother knew exactly how much money was in her purse at any
given time of the day or night. Perhaps you believe it is a bad thing
for someone to have money, especially a lot of money, and that people
with money can't be trusted.

Maybe you've been led to believe that to be a success you have to be
prepared to stomp on others – and the more successful you are, the
more manipulative you must be.

Once you start making your list, you may be surprised at the results –
I know I was! The first time I did the exercise on my beliefs about
money, I filled three complete pages of limiting beliefs which I'd
learned from my parents.

The sad fact is that our parents are largely responsible for most of the
negative thoughts and feelings we have about the way we feel about
money, success and our sense of self.

Step 2 of the exercise is to indicate next to each item on your list
where those beliefs came from.

I hope you have come to the realization that the beliefs you have ARE
NOT YOURS! They are someone else's beliefs which you have taken on
board as your own.

And this will, in a majority of cases, be true for every single negative
belief you have.

The next thing you need to do is acknowledge that the beliefs your
parents had were probably handed down to them from their parents. Once
you do this, you desire to lay the blame for your negative, limiting
beliefs on your parents, will dissipate. In short, your parents are NOT
TO BLAME!

There is something really important you need to know about money ... it
is an energy. It comes in and it flows out, just like the tide. If you
can accept that money is an energy, it longer becomes 'good' or
'bad'.

Step 3 of the exercise is to write a list of the beliefs you want to
have about your topic. For every negative/limiting belief you have,
write a positive one.

Then type (or write) your new list of positive items, and put it on a
wall at home (or office) where you can read it every day.
It won't take long for your subconscious to accept them .... and then
you will start accepting them at a conscious level.

What about the toxic relationship you've just left?

Firstly, you are probably feeling really miserable and experiencing a
sense of loss – and why shouldn't you, after all, you're only
human aren't you.

A lot of emotional energy is expended in a relationship, and you
certainly can't be expected to bottle up the emotions as if nothing
has happened. In fact, it's worse if you do, because one day you'll
explode like a volcano – and that's no good for anyone.

Make a list of all the good things about the relationship. Yes, I
realize that most of the good times probably happened early in the
relationship! Why do this? Because you need to hold on to the good
memories.

It's a really tragic situation when all anyone can remember about the
ex is the bad stuff. One assumes you got together in the first place
because of something good, right? Remember them – and you'll find
the bad memories will start to recede.

You'll also discover something else – the fault doesn't lie with
just one person, so you'll be able to accept some of the
responsibility for the relationship ending – which is not the same as
saying "It was all my fault because ...." – and you'll also stop
making excuses for your partner.

It takes a tremendous amount of courage to walk away from a bad
relationship, especially a long-term one – and to be honest, I have
little sympathy for people who stay in their bad relationships. Why
wouldn't they want the very best relationship possible, with all that
a terrific relationship can give? And how can they do that if they
allow fear to keep them bound to a person they'd rather be away from?

Empowered people are courageous (in more ways than one), they don't
mind taking risks and their fear factor is very low.

If you've broken free, you are on the road to discovering this for
yourself!

About the author: Barbara Rose is a mentor, coach, teacher and
alternative therapist who specializes in helping people reach their
potential at all levels (spiritual, emotional, mental, and physical).
Please visit www.barbaras-library.com for a complete list of Barbara's
articles and books. To find out more about Barbara please go to
www.barbara-rose.name.