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I bet you took one look at the title of this article and said, Yeah, right! I am willing to bet that the thought which flashed through your mind featured the Biggest Mistake of All Time. I am also willing to bet that if I gave you just five minutes, you could fill an entire sheet of paper with all the mistakes you made in your life – from the time you were a tiny tot to the present day.
So, go one … do it! Grab a pen(cil) and a sheet of paper. Divide the sheet into 3 columns. Head the first column with "The Mistakes of My Life" (don't worry about the second two for the time being). Now list all the mistakes – small and large – that you can remember ever making. Don't hold back. Get them out of your system and on to the paper, then come back in five minutes. Remember to free-write this exercise (see Travelling Life's Highway).
Welcome back.
As I've started off as a betting person (!) I shall continue, and say: I'm willing to bet you have things on that list which you had totally forgotten about – such is the power of free-writing. Scan your list and put a tick, an asterisk or some other mark next to those that you had forgotten. I am wiling to bet also that you raised unwanted memories and feelings. Making mistakes invariably causes hurt and pain for someone: you could have hurt yourself or someone else; someone else could have hurt you. Very few of us deliberately hurt other people ands o mistakes are, essentially, accidents. (I don't believe in accidents, so I guess I'll have to explain why at another time!)So, when you're ready, here's the next step … head the second column with "How I Felt". Next to mistake number one write down the feelings associated with that mistake. One word responses are quite acceptable!
Finished?
Did you want to scrunch up the paper and throw it across the room? Pound a pillow and howl? Perfectly understandable responses, so don't beat yourself up about the impulse (or the action, if you actually did it).
Stay with me because you are about to do THE MOST IMPORTANT PART OF THEEXERCISE…..which is, head the third column with "What I Learnt". The procedure is the same … next to mistake number one write down what you learnt. It may be that you learnt not to believe a word that person said to you ever again … you may have stood on your own two feet as a consequence … you may have overcome a fear.
How did it go? Do you now have a page of mistakes and what you learnt from the experiences? Terrific! Believe it or not, it can take weeks, months or even years after the event happened before we recognize the results of a 'mistake'.
Now, here's the crunch …. If you learnt something from the experience, how could the experience have been a mistake? Further, if you learnt anything at all, then you must have had a teacher! That's right, a teacher … someone who helped you with the lesson (albeit, painfully in some instances). I repeat, how could the experience have been a 'mistake'?
What you have is not a page of mistakes but a page of learning opportunities.
Take a moment or three to digest that piece of information because it is one of the three foundations to an empowered life. It's so important I'm going to repeat it …
THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A MISTAKE … WHAT YOU PERCEIVED AS MISTAKESIN THE PAST WERE ACTUALLY LEARNING OPPORTUNITIES.
Learning opportunities help you grow. They give you a push (or shove)into being more empowered in the way you look at yourself, at other people, and more importantly, at Life.
I haven't forgotten that this exercise may have muddied your feelings a bit, so I am going to give you a method of making you feel better. It's a way to release the past.
Yes, I know, releasing the past is easier said than done when you are hurting! However, the more you hold onto the pain, the harder it will be to move on. You've already identified what you learnt from your 'mistakes', so now is the time to let go.
HOW TO RELEASE THE PAST
1. Recall the person/event which causes you pain.2. Identify what you learnt from them.3. Be eternally grateful (so you don't bring the lesson into another lifetime). 4. Thank them for the lesson.5. Release them with love.
For example: Mary Jane drove you nuts but at least you learnt how to deal with frustration. (Steps 1 and 2)
Say: Mary Jane caused me so much pain but she taught me how to deal with frustration and for that I am eternally grateful. I thank her for the lesson and for being such a good teacher, and I release her in love.
If you don't feel a difference toward the person/event, do the exercise every day until you do.
I suggest (strongly!) that you put the following on a sheet of paper, in big bold letters, somewhere you can read it –
I DO NOT MAKE MISTAKES ... I CREATE LEARNING OPPORTUNITIES
Write it on a business-card sized card or paper and carry it around with you for as long as you need to do so ….. Say it on the hour, every hour, for the next two weeks! ….. Let it be an everyday reminder. You'll be glad you did.
Here's to the creation of many more learning opportunities!
About the author: Barbara Rose is a writer with a passion for everything! She is also a mentor, coach, teacher and alternative therapist who specializes in helping people reach their potential at all levels (spiritual, emotional, mental, and physical). Please visitwww.barbaras-library.com for a complete list of Barbara's articles and books. To find out more about Barbara please go to www.barbara-rose.name |
I do believe on what you've said that there is no such thing as a mistake. When you commit mistakes, you will have a lesson that you must be careful with your actions. In life, you must have a right decision because you might regret at the end. We might get mistakes in life, but we cannot return the time! So continue living your life. In the end, maybe someday you'll realize that your decision will be right because you became happy in different way.:)