It's Friday night and tomorrow is going to be a Big Day. You have a
heap of things to do and they absolutely, positively, have to be done
because you have somewhere very special to go on Sunday. So, you make a
list of everything that has to be done, work out how long it will take
to do each activity, and make a plan for the day - an hour for this, an
hour for that, two hours for the housework, washing and other domestic
chores, an hour for something else. You schedule the time quite rigidly
from eight in the morning until eight at night. Every minute has been
planned, in order to maximise the day. It's a workable plan, after
all, you are showered, dressed and breakfasted by seven-thirty every
morning.
Saturday morning starts when the alarm goes off. You reach out, turn it
off, roll over and go back to sleep. The next thing you know, it's
ten-thirty. What would be your reaction?

Will you be the person who swears, rants, raves, and beats themselves up
for sleeping in? Or will you be the person who just accepts the
situation without rancour?

The person who has empowerment will accept the situation without
rancour. You won't find this person beating themselves up because
they don't talk to themselves in a negative way.
Their first reaction is this: "Gosh, my body must have needed the
rest or I wouldn't have slept in." And would then give some thought
to how they had been that week, finding instances of tiredness which
would explain sleeping in.
Their next reaction would be: It is what it is.
This person accept the simple fact that nothing can be done about the
'lost' couple of hours. S/he can't get them back, so what's the
point of expending energy in a negative way?

Believe it or not, this is the person who will have ALL the activities
done and dusted by the established eight o'clock, and patting
themselves on the back for a day well done.
The person who swore and beat themselves up will find jobs outstanding
at the end of the day.
It's all a question of attitude.

If you can recognize that your body is physically rested, then you will
also be mentally alert. You will look at your list of activities and
attack the worst job first - because that way, everything which comes
after is a breeze, and you give yourself a psychological advantage.
If you complain bitterly about the lost time, you will never be in the
right headspace to make the most of the day. You will look at your list
of activities and do them in order of ease – because that way, you can
convince yourself that 'most' things will get done. It means,
however, that you start thinking about the worst job, and how much you
don't want to do it. And that sort of thinking drains your energy,
making you less likely to get things done, and more likely to be
resenting the worst job on the list. It's a vicious cycle, isn't
it.

So, what's the big difference between people who accept the situation
and person who don't? It's the amount of emotional energy they
invest in the situation.
Empowered people practise detachment – they can stand back and let go.
It is what it is.

You can apply this sentiment to just about everything in your life:
getting to work late because of traffic or public transport problems,
for example. If it's not your fault, and if you had no control over
the situation, why get upset? What could you have done about it?
If it was your fault, eg you left ten minutes later than usual and found
yourself caught up in more traffic than usual or you missed the train,
well, don't beat yourself up … look at it as a lesson you taught
yourself, and don't do it again!

WHEN YOU INVEST EMOTION INTO NEGATIVE SITUATIONS, YOU EMPOWER THE
SITUATION AND DISEMPOWER YOURSELF.

If you find yourself in a disempowering situation what can you do?
First of all, breathe! If you breathe deeply and slowly, you will find
yourself calming down very quickly. The easiest method is called the
4-4-4-4 method – and here's how to do it:
- Breathe in while mentally counting to 4.
- Hold your breath (while mentally counting to 4).
- Breathe out (to the count of 4).
- Hold your breath (to the count of 4).
Repeat this cycle another two times.
Three cycles is usually enough to relax the body but if you feel the
need, go ahead for another one or two cycles.
If you find yourself getting dizzy, or out of breath, it's a sure
indication that you don't breathe properly at other times.

Once you start removing the emotional input, and practise the art of
detachment, you'll find yourself becoming a much calmer person who is
less likely to get upset – especially over things you cannot control.
There are added benefits: the ability to think clearly and rationally;
the ability to make decisions (especially major ones) without wondering
if you've made the right decision.
Most importantly, it puts you in control.
And remember, being in control means being empowered.

About the author: Barbara Rose is a mentor, coach, teacher and
alternative therapist who specializes in helping people reach their
potential at all levels (spiritual, emotional, mental, and physical).
Please visit www.barbaras-library.com for a complete list of Barbara's
articles and books. To find out more about Barbara please go to
www.barbara-rose.name.