Inspiration - Personal Development at its Best!
Sunday, 10 January 2010

I have met many people in my time who go to one personal development course after another, have a library of self-development books and always complain that 'nothing has worked'. There's a good reason for this: the way we feel about ourselves - that which makes us a self-confident and self-assured individual - is a direct result of the beliefs we hold about ourselves. And unless those beliefs are changed from negative and damaging to positive and inspiring, we will always feel ourselves to be lacking in some regard.

Let's face it, if we didn't think we were lacking in some way, we wouldn't feel the need to attend a personal development course, would we!

Self-acceptance is one of the mightiest aspects of self-empowerment. We really cannot empower ourselves if we do not believe we deserve everything that empowerment can bring us.

Let's say, for example, that you want to be more successful (in whatever way you define success). You've been to lots of seminars and workshops. You've worked your way through a myriad of courses. You've bought the latest popular book and religiously followed the exercises contained within it. For a couple of days - or weeks - you feel good. By the time a month has elapsed you feel exactly the same as before you started the course, workshop or book. Why?

BECAUSE YOU HAVE UNDERLYING BELIEFS THAT STOP YOU FROM BEING THE BEST YOU CAN BE.

We are programmed as children with more negative beliefs about ourselves than I care to mention. Parents are a wonderful source of ensuring their children take on the baggage of shame, guilt and not being good enough. In other words, parents can make their children believe that they are not good enough … hence the need for self-improvement courses.

But … Where there is self-acceptance, improvement is inevitable. We all want to become more, do more and enjoy life to the fullest. That's what an empowered life is all about – being positive, optimistic and downright happy!

Empowered people are all this a! nd more. They are successful. Very. What's important is not how others see their success, but how they view success in relation to themselves.

We are not born with the belief system we have. Our belief system was LEARNED. So, if you feel yourself to be a failure, that limiting belief will stop you from being happy . The first thing you need to do is find out who was responsible for teaching you this particular negative lesson. A lesson which you then took on board as a truth, filing it away in your subconscious to do who-knows-what damage.

The bottom line is, of course, that the offending belief has to be identified! And identify it you must because it is your beliefs that govern the quality of your life. Each belief you have produces emotions which can be constricting – which means that in order to change a belief system, you need to rid yourself of the emotions which surround tit.

Can a belief system be changed? Absolutely! Since beliefs are learned, they can be unlearned … and relearned in new ways. All it takes from you is a willingness to get up close and personal with memories you may want to keep buried, and the desire to be open-minded. Not much, eh  It takes courage to change a belief system.

There's a definite process to follow: Identify the belief that holds you back, Create a new one, and . Strengthen it.

If you don't think you can do this yourself, seek out a professional - practitioner or therapist - who can help you. Think of the cost as an investment in your future. As examples: psychologists (as opposed to psychiatrists), hypnotherapists, acupuncturists and practitioners of NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) or EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique). Surf the Net to find out more about each modality (and discover other useful ones) and see which would suit you (if any).

Other articles which you may find useful are: There Is NO Such thing As Failure Breaking Free Why not check them out.

Don't wait any longer.

Make this new year the cat! alyst fo r discovering the real you.

Here's to becoming a butterfly in 2010.

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About the author: Barbara Rose is the author of How To Be A Success. You can find this book at http://www.barbaras-library.com As a problem-solver, she is a mentor, coach, teacher, alternative therapist and writer who specializes in helping people reach their potential at all levels (spiritual, emotional, mental and physical). You can find out more about Barbara by visiting www.barbara-rose.name

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Personal Development   Alternative Health   Image Enhancement   Empowered Living   Personal Health

posted by The White Dove Partnership @ 08:27 0 comments

Wednesday, 6 January 2010

We're hardly into a new year, with all its possibilities, and I've just had this conversation with a friend:

F: Have you made any new year resolutions?

Me: Not really. I guess my only resolution is not to make any resolutions. (I chuckled, she didn't). What about you?

F: What's the point? Something's bound to happen to make sure they don't work out.

Me (cringing inside): Maybe you should just make a resolution to be happy.

And that, dear reader, was the absolute worse thing I could have said. The reception from the other end of the line was so frosty that icicles dripped through the phone. Okay, so maybe that's a slight exaggeration, but you get my point!

It made me think, though. When we make a resolution, we are making a firm decision, ie resolving, to do/not do something specific. Logically speaking, therefore, the only person responsible for ensuring a resolution is successful (or not) is the person who made it.

If you make a resolution to be happy ! (or happier than the year before), who's responsible for your ultimate happiness? You. And that's where the buck stops. No-one can make you feel happy – only you can do that. And no-one can make you feel miserable, either – you have ownership of that feeling as well.

Confident, self-assured people don't look to others for happiness. Of course, being around certain people make us happy (that's one of the reasons we have friends) BUT think about it for a moment … what exactly is it that your friends do to bring you joy?

Then consider this: Happiness is a quality that produces an emotion which impacts on your behaviour which contributes to your state of mind.

It isn't events or people that cause you to feel happy, it's how you think about those events and people that fuels your emotions.

I have to admit to having no patience at all with people who continually complain about anything and everything. And to be honest, there have been many times in ! my past where I've just snapped, "If you don't like it, do som! ething a bout it!"

I just don't understand why anyone would want to spend their lives being miserable. Just think of what could be achieved if the energy expended on being unhappy was used on activities which brought pleasure!

In a rotten relationship? Get out! Sure it's going to hurt like heck for a while BUT at least you now have the opportunity to meet someone who will appreciate you. Ask yourself why you stay. I'm sure you will be able to come up with a million and one reasons to remain where you are – and then find one reason why you shouldn't!

In a job you hate? Change it! There has been far too much research that shows that being in a job you hate can make you very sick .. and that's in addition to the stress which accumulates. Consider yourself a dormant volcano – because there will come a time when this situation will make you explode.

Sometimes relationships and jobs can be improved by talking things through with your antagonist. And yes, someti! mes they can't. It isn't easy breaking away from bad situations. However, there are many people who have done … are doing … and will do … just that. Why not read my article "Breaking Free" – it will give you some tips on how to make the transition from a bad situation to a good one.

Resolve to be happy. Resolve to change what makes you miserable. Resolve to take ownership for your feelings … your behaviour … your state of mind.

Make this YOUR year. Make a plan – decide what you want and GO FOR IT! Make a To Do list – and put YOUR happiness at the top of it. Make a point of jotting down each day (in a small notebook) one thing that made you laugh, chuckle or smile – it will be a useful read when you have a 'down' day. Make a list of those hobbies/pastimes/activities that you used to do – and take at least one of them up again.

And do you know why making a commitment to be happy is a great new year resolution? Because you deserve the very best that Life ! has to offer you.

I wish you much joy and happiness for! 2010.

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About the author: Barbara Rose is the author of 8 Natural Solutions for Managing & Controlling Stress to bring balance into your life. You can find this book at http://www.barbaras-library.com As a problem-solver, she is a mentor, coach, teacher, alternative therapist and writer who specializes in helping people reach their potential at all levels (spiritual, emotional, mental and physical). You can find out more about Barbara by visiting www.barbara-rose.name

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Personal Development   Alternative Health   Image Enhancement   Empowered Living   Personal Health

posted by The White Dove Partnership @ 09:17 0 comments

Wednesday, 30 December 2009

With 2010 just around the corner, I guess many people are thinking about new year resolutions. Perhaps yours will be to live a more empowered life! To that end, you will find an A to Z of affirmations which work well for me … and hopefully will inspire you, too.

There are a variety of ways to use them, but I think you can get more from them if you take one, say "Always do my best", and make it your focus every day for a week. At that rate you'll have worked through the alphabet twice in the year. Of course, you don't have to work systematically through the alphabet! You can select any statement you choose, in any order you wish to do them.

To make your life even more fulfilling, choose a different statement to be your monthly challenge. This way you'll be focussing on five or six aspects of empowerment each month.

  • Always do my best.
  • Be impeccable with my word.
  • Communicate with others.
  • Do what is right .. now!
  • Eagerness for new projects makes me happy.
  • Flexibility and adaptability give me freedom.
  • Growing beyond old directions is a challenge I enjoy.
  • Honesty is my trademark.
  • I am unique.
  • Joyful is my existence.
  • Knowledge is power … and I am powerful.
  • Listening to my intuition brings rewards.
  • Money is only one part of my abundant life.
  • Nothing stops me from achieving my dreams
  • Opportunities surround me at all times.
  • Purpose is in everything I do.
  • Quiet times help to recharge my batteries.
  • Risk-taking is easy because I trust myself.
  • Self-recognition makes me feel good on the inside.
  • Thoughts create my fantastic life.
  • Understanding my self is a lifelong journey.
  • Valuing myself is more important than being valued by others.
  • Worthiness in myself is indisputable.
  • eXpansiveness makes my world rock!
  • Youthfulness is mine!
  • Zzzzzz is for others … I am wide awake and loving life.

Here's to a wonderful and abundant 2010!!

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If you would like a poster of these affirmations click on this link: http://www.barbaras-library.com/A2Z_Empower.html About the author: Barbara Rose is a mentor, coach, teacher and alternative therapist who specializes in helping people reach their potential at all levels (spiritual, emotional, mental and physical). You can find out more about Barbara and her services by visiting www.barbara-rose.name

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Personal Development   Alternative Health   Image Enhancement   Empowered Living   Personal Health

posted by The White Dove Partnership @ 14:00 0 comments

Tuesday, 22 December 2009

Parents do the best they can with the tools they have. This is such an old saying and very true! When we become parents we look to our own for ideas and we make certain decisions: yes, my parents did this-and-that well, I'm going to do it too; no, my parents did such-and-such and I hated it – I'm never going to do that to my children! Ah, yes, we set out with the best of intentions, don't we. The problem for us as parents, is that we can destroy a child's self-esteem without even knowing we are doing it. We can set up a belief system which will haunt that child right through adolescence and into their adult years. Let me give you an example…

When my youngest boy could toddle around he was the biggest klutz in the universe. If anything could be knocked over, he knocked it over. Nothing was safe while he was around. Then, one Sunday afternoon, after I'd almost yelled, "Don't go near that, you'll break it!" I realised with a shock that I often said it to him. Well, actually, if the truth be told, it wasn't often, it was all the time! I resolved, then and there, never to tell him again that he was clumsy or something would break if he was even so much as in the room with it. And you know what – he stopped being a klutz. I learned a valuable lesson that afternoon. Years later, while at teacher's college, we covered Self-Fulfilling Prophesy in one of our units. Essentially SFP means this: whatever you believe you are, you are. So, by constantly telling my lad that he was clumsy I was laying the groundwork for a belief system that would have resulted in him being a super-clumsy adult – because that's what he believed himself to be.

Without questioning what you do, I offer you a few tips, parent to parent ….

1. Praise your child often. Recognition builds self-confidence and self-esteem – which in turn will earn them praise from others (very important). Children need to show how competent they are to their families, friends, school mates and teachers.

2. Make a point of finding one th! ing ever y day which will enable you to praise your child.

3. Give your child chores to do … then reward and praise for jobs well done!

4. Do not make impossible demands on your children – and that includes leaning too heavily on them for support.

5. Introduce your child to experiences in which they can succeed – it will teach them confidence.

6. Let children do things for themselves. One of the hardest things to do as a parent is step back and watch children make mistakes. If you accept that a mistake is just a learning experience, your youngster(s) will become very self-assured.

7. Give your children lots of opportunities to make decisions … and help them to become responsible for their choices. (My children were making their own decisions at 18 months old when they knew which clothes they wanted to wear – not my choices, by the way! They were told they could have whatever they wanted from particular racks – which fitted in with my financial constraints at the time.)

8. Gently encourage children to face their fears, one at a time. Once they overcome their fears, not much can stand in their way. You will have given them the foundation for facing fears in their future. (You may need to ask yourself whether the fears your youngsters are theirs … or yours.)

9. Have regular time alone with each of your children. Every child needs dedicated one-on-one time with their parent(s) in order to feel special.

10. Make a family decision to raise the levels of everyone's self-esteem. Take positive steps to make it happen!

Here's to a new generation of self-empowered people!!

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About the author: Barbara Rose is a mentor, coach, teacher and alternative therapist who specializes in helping people reach their potential at all levels (spiritual, emotional, mental and physical). Please visit www.barbaras-library.com for a complete list of Barbara's articles and books. Or go to www.barbara-rose.name to find out more ab! out Barb ara and her services.

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Personal Development   Alternative Health   Image Enhancement   Empowered Living   Personal Health

posted by The White Dove Partnership @ 21:43 0 comments

Tuesday, 15 December 2009

In my last article I talked about the importance of self-esteem and how it is a crucial element in our success for living empowered lives. It is important to remember that we can still be self-critical and have good self-esteem at the same time. We do this by not generalising about our mistakes and weaknesses to include everything about ourselves. So, how can you improve your self-esteem? Well, here are ten ways for you to consider:

1. Make an effort to improve the way you talk to yourself. Say positive things to yourself rather than negative. There is a difference between saying, "I am a totally worthless human being because last week I was rude to the in-laws, and that means I will always be hopeless." (low self-esteem) and "I behaved really badly last night with those specific people at that specific time." This accepts responsibility but doesn't damn one's whole personality and life as worthless (good self-esteem). Remember this: your mind is like a computer – what you programme into it, stays there!

2. Give yourself credit for everything you do well. It is important for you to celebrate your achievements, no matter how small you think they are. Not only will it help your self-esteem, it will boost your self-confidence. Think of it like this: there cannot be oak trees without acorns – which just goes to show how something small can become something big and majestic!

3. Face your fears one at a time. Slowly and gently is the way to do it. Take one fear and conquer it before you move on to the next one. The more you do this, the better you'll feel about yourself. Tip: Start with your least important fear first, because it will be the easiest to overcome. And once you've done that, work your way up to conquering the greatest fear you have.

4. Forgive yourself for your mistakes. Okay, so you did something not right at a particular time – will you do the same thing again? Probably not. That's the beauty of making a mistake – you learn what you can from it …. and then you let i! t go. Re member: We ALL make mistakes – it's what we do about them that counts.

5. Set realistic goals for yourself. There's a saying: Rome wasn't built in a day, which makes great advice for everyone all these years after Rome's founding. A realistic goal is one which can be broken down into small, easy-to-manage steps. As you complete each step, you are just that bit closer to reaching your goal. The key to success is not to give up! Tip: If you find any step difficult, break it down again into three or four more manageable activities.

6. Join a club. Getting involved in a team sport or service organization is a sure-fire way to boost your self-esteem. This is a great way to make new friends and do something enjoyable at the same time. Tip: www.meetup.com offers a wide variety of interest groups. No matter what your interest, there's sure to be a Meetup group available for you to join!

7. Take up a new hobby. Becoming creative works the right side of the brain – which will help balance the negative talk you give yourself. If you spend your free time being creative with your hands, you'll have less time to tell yourself negative things. Tip: If you're not ready to take up a new hobby, become reacquainted with an old one.

8. Help someone in your community. Nothing makes a person feel good about themselves like being a volunteer. Today's volunteers help with the environment, run Girl Guide and Boy Scout troupes, and fix makeup for hospital-bound patients just to name a few. There's no end to the possibilities which await you. Idea: Contact your local council or the Red Cross.

9. Rope in friends and family to help you raise your self-esteem. It's always easier to raise your self-esteem if you don't have to do it all on your own. Allow yourself to respect these people and be respected by them. Hint: You will have to be honest about all your feelings if you want to make headway.

10. Make a decision today to take responsibility for your self-esteem. Other people may influence ! the way you feel about yourself, but only you can accept those influences. The degree to which you are valued is up to you!

Here's to your success!!

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * About the author: Barbara Rose is a mentor, coach, teacher and alternative therapist who specializes in helping people reach their potential at all levels (spiritual, emotional, mental and physical). Please visit www.barbaras-library.com for a complete list of Barbara's articles and books. Or go to www.barbara-rose.name to find out more about Barbara and her services.

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Personal Development   Alternative Health   Image Enhancement   Empowered Living   Personal Health

posted by The White Dove Partnership @ 14:00 0 comments

Tuesday, 8 December 2009

This is the question I am asked time and time again – which just goes to show how important we value self-esteem and self-confidence. The short answer to the question is 'no'. Self-esteem refers to how you judge yourself. Self-confidence comes from the specific things that you do. This means that the more you do a particular action, the better you will become at doing it, and the more self-confidence you will have … in that particular action.

Can you have low self-esteem and high self-confidence, or vice versa? Hmmm. Well, I have known people who, when in a social situation flatly refuse to open their mouths and yet, in a business environment are the most self-assured people you could meet. Generally speaking, though, self-esteem and self-confidence tend to go hand-in-hand.

The problem with low self-esteem is that it can be very debilitating. It can stop you from even trying something new … for fear of failure. And if you are afraid to get started, how can you become good at it?

Consider these self-esteem issues:

* No appreciation of what you can do.

* No recognition or respect for your own abilities, potentials and value.

* Placing no importance on your strengths and not trusting in them.

* No acceptance of your limitations.

* No acceptance of these limitations or understanding that some limitations can be overcome.

* Being worried and concerned with what you imagine others think of you.

* Having no real sense of who you are.

Perhaps I should point out here that EVERYONE has self-esteem issues at some point in their life! However, if you have personal power, you will also have more than your fair share of self-esteem and self-confidence.

So what is it that determines whether or not we have high self-esteem? Our childhoods. Self-esteem begins with the responses that we get from our parents, siblings, teachers and peers when we're growing up.

Those responses are tied into our sex: boys are praised for their achievements, and so they grow up with a sense of self based on how well they master tasks; girls are praised for pleasing others, and so they grow up with a sense of self based on how well they establish and maintain relationships.

As you can see, it is relatively easy for a child to grow up with either a very high, or very low, sense of self. The child then becomes an adult who carries a belief system which may be entirely unfair.

The responses to which children are subjected as children are largely responsible for irrational beliefs - the largest contributors of low self-esteem. They are:

* I must be loved, or at least liked, and approved by every significant person I meet.

* If I am to be worthwhile, I must be completely competent, make no mistakes, and achieve in every possible way.

* Some people are bad and wicked and they should be blamed and punished for this.

* It is dreadful, nearly the end of the world, when things don't go how I'd like them to.

* Unhappiness, including mine, is caused by factors outside my control, so I can do little about it.

* If something might be unpleasant or frightening, I should worry about it a great deal.

* It's easier to put off something unpleasant or difficult than it is to face up to it.

* I need to depend on someone stronger than myself.

* My problems were caused by events in my past, and that's why I have problems now.

* I should be very upset by other people's problems and difficulties.

Is self-esteem really important? Of course!

High self-esteem allows you to cope with whatever comes along. It gives you the skills to face whatever happens in your life.

High self-esteem gives you the courage to try new things and a willingness to "have a go".

High self-esteem allows you to make good judgements and decisions – and not worry about what other people might think or say.

If you are reading this because you don't have any self-esteem, then let me assure you it is possible to develop it! That's personal experience speaking, by the way. I grew up with less than zero self-esteem thanks to my parents, became a teenager with zero self-esteem thanks to being good at sport (so the self-confidence developed) BUT as an adult, I resolved to change. Truly, that's all you need … the resolve to change.

If you are resolved to change, then check out my next article because I will be giving you some guidelines.

If you are a parent who would like to boost the self-esteem of your children (or even somebody else's), then some tips will appear in a week or two …. so please come back.

Just remember this: someone's opinion of you does not have to become your reality.

About the author: Barbara Rose is a mentor, coach, teacher and alternative therapist who specializes in helping people reach their potential at all levels (spiritual, emotional, mental and physical).

Please visit www.barbaras-library.com for a complete list of Barbara's articles and books. Or go to www.barbara-rose.name to find out more about Barbara and her services.

Barbara Rose
mailto:barbara@barbara-rose.name

snailmail to: PO Box 85, Melton
Victoria 3337, Australia

Ph: 61 4 3864 5287

Personal Development   Alternative Health   Image Enhancement   Empowered Living   Personal Health

posted by The White Dove Partnership @ 23:26 0 comments

Sunday, 1 November 2009

Heroes are individuals with great physical and mental strength. They risk everything, living and dying devoid of fear. Heroes obey nothing but their own beliefs and convictions and are idolised by those who witness their courage. Their independence of thought and action is what sets them apart from others.

That's what I read on the back of a student's tee-shirt. When I first started reading it, I expected something totally different. I guess that's because an initial reaction to the word 'hero' is of someone who can leap tall buildings in a single bound! As I read, the words struck chord deep inside because I was struck by the familiarity of the how much is this also true of people who live
empowered lives.

If we look, we can find heroes everywhere. Firemen are willing to enter burning buildings to save lives. Policemen are willing to put themselves in harm's way to protect the people. Soldiers are willing to die for their country – a cause that only a soldier truly understands. Surf lifesavers are willing to battle the moods of the sea to ensure no lives are lost.

Then there are the RSPCA inspectors are willing to put themselves at risk to save an animal, not to mention the ordinary men and women who have been of crucial assistance at a myriad of accidents. And there are people living empowered lives, who fit the above description so well.

Does it mean that I think of myself as a hero? Since reading the tee-shirt, I've thought about it a great deal, and at the risk of sounding big-headed, I would have to say yes.

Empowered living demands great mental strength. How else could I be an individual? How else could I follow my hopes and dreams – and have faith they will be successful? How else could I believe in myself – especially when times are tough and my world seems to be crumbling? As an empowered person I live life without fear – most of the time! But I am brave enough to acknowledge that although twinges of uncertainty and anxiety will always occur, those times will pass.

I am motivated by my beliefs and convictions – which require a great deal of strength sometimes. Especially as I work on the principle that it's easy to be bad and a lot harder to be good, so I rarely hold a grudge and never seek revenge for perceived wrongs.

It would be untrue to say that I am idolised by those who have known me, but I often hear "I wish I could be more like you". I put it down to my strength of character, a strong belief in right and wrong, and the fact that I always stand up for myself and my rights. Does my independence of thought and action set me apart from others? I'm sure, at times, that they would.

The plain truth is that I am not unique. I'm sure that you know, or have known, plenty of strong, confident, self-assured people capable of giving of themselves without asking anything in return. People who exert a great deal of influence, usually without realizing it. Dedicated school teachers would come into this category, without a doubt! (Yes, I admit it, the greatest influence on my life was Mr Warne, one of my primary school teachers.)

If you are a person who possesses great mental strength because of your individuality … if you risk everything because you have strong beliefs and convictions … if other people look up to you because of what you stand for … if you are independent of thought and action … then, my
friend - You are a hero.

On the other hand, if you are a person who is developing mental strength … is working on self-esteem or self-confidence issues … is taking little steps to assert individualization … if you are doing all this, despite what others may say or think … then, my friend, you are a hero, too, for it takes great courage to consciously make changes in a life - And I salute you.

About the author: Barbara Rose is a mentor, coach, teacher and alternative therapist who specializes in helping people reach their potential at all levels (spiritual, emotional, mental, and physical). Please visit www.barbaras-library.com for a complete list of Barbara's articles and books. You can find out more about Barbara by going to www.barbara-rose.name.

Personal Development   Alternative Health   Image Enhancement   Empowered Living   Personal Health

posted by The White Dove Partnership @ 20:34 0 comments


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