We respond to our responsibilities in different ways. We try to organize our days, and lives, so that we can fit it all in in the way that we want to. We start doing this in toddlerhood. We have favorite shows that we don't want to miss, my eldest's was Barney, my middle's was Teletubbies, and my youngest's was Barney again! We will stop our "day" to catch these toddler faves, then move on with our "work" of play. Later on, we may hurry home from school, and get our homework done, so that we can go out and play with our friends. That will go on through our school career. Hopefully, we continue with that into our college years.
When we get into our grown-up years, our job will pretty much dictate our hours that we have left to organize. Some people never quite get the hang of organizing their time. Some people will organize what they consider the most important tasks first and then in category down to the ones they consider least important. Some people organize trickle-down style and put the biggest jobs first then moving down to the smallest jobs. Some people organize by type of activity, "work" first, creative then play. Some people go straight down a list of to-do's and realize they left out something and have to put that at the top for tomorrow. Some people do one thing a day then rest for the rest of the day. Some people organize every little minute of their day and fall into bed exhausted. (been there, done that!) Some people put off the big tasks until last hoping that they really don't get around to it. Some people just go haphazardly through their day with no real plan.
Classification is important to organizing. It may be difficult if you've never thought about it, but classifying what you want to get done in a day, can help you organize your time to get the maximum efficiency from it. Grouping your tasks as important or would be nice to do, can help you decide what needs to be done, and what can be set aside for free time or weekends.
Clearly there are things that need to be done every day. We need clean laundry to wear. We need clean dishes to eat off of, and so bugs don't eat off of them! The garbage needs to go out. If we pick up after ourselves, then clean up can be more effortless. Other tasks such as dusting and vacuuming can be done once or twice a week depending on your needs. Some things can go once a month, like dusting the walls and ceilings. We can have seasonal chores like blind cleaning and upholstery cleaning. Then maybe save carpet cleaning and fixture washing for once a year, again, also depending on your needs.
I hear the stories of how my great-grandmother cleaned her entire house from top to bottom every day and wonder how! I've gleaned little bits of how through the years, like #1, a wet rag was employed mostly, instead of all of the different cleaning products that we have today for every different thing we have! Also, knick-knacks were for well-to-do homes like my other side of the family, who had help to clean, so there was less to clean! There was no wall to wall carpeting to vacuum, just a rug to beat and floors to sweep. We've made our own lives so high-maintainence!
Once we get the things that we feel "have" to get done, and our opinions may differ on that, too, then we can engage in hobbies and recreation. I make jewelry. I love blown glass beads! We can set aside an hour a day to engage in hobbies, and switch from day to day which ones we do if we have several, or rotate them if we have many!
It's important to have some time for yourself each day. Your mental and physical health will thank you for it! Our priorities change as we grow and age and we should be flexible with ourselves and allow for that. No one can do all that they would like to do, in a day. We have a certain number of hours each day to work with, and that's it! No do-overs. The pick-up can be post-poned for a quick game of checkers with your child if they ask, or you can set aside a time for that, so that they know when they can expect that game of checkers to take place.
You can schedule a different activity each evening, so that your family life or personal life is enriched. How to choose activities? You should go with what you like, of course! If you're a parent, make sure each child gets to pencil in some time for things that they like. Otherwise, it'll be one long family-time if you're the only one having fun. Grown-ups should schedule a date-night where grandparents, or other trusted baby-sitters take over for one night a week so the grown-ups can go out and have some adult fun! A family night can be scheduled to bring everyone to the table and give everyone a chance to talk together.
Sometimes there are special needs to consider, and of course, that has to come into the planning as well, which may leave some disappointed, in which case, clear explanation should be given to the others and a plea for compassion and understanding if need be. The older children can help look out for younger ones on outings to make sure all your ducks are in a row, so to speak. Parents should always try to be a united, equal authority, so children don't start to try and play one against the other, or go behind one to the other to get what they want, which they will. Even if parents are very different, parenting needs to be consistant, which can be difficult. In some traditional male dominant families, the father has the only say and all must go with his flow. The style that fits the child best will be the one that they take notice of and try to emulate later.
So, you must decide what's important to you to do with your 24 hours each day. I choose to sleep 8 of it. I get my boys off to school in the mornings, then I can get breakfast, work out, shower and dress, work from 11-4, have tea with the boys, take care of household business, help with homework, clean, have dinner, have hobby time and family time. I have daily chores, then those I do once a week, month, year.... I have enough hobbies to have a different one going on each day of the week, if I add more, I'll rotate them. I have more business activities than I can do in a day, so I prioritize and rotate those. We have a different activity for family hour each night, currently it's: eating out Mon.
Dance Party Tues. Movie Night Wed. Playground or Rain-out Game Night Thurs. We have a transition dinner Fri. evening with their father where we talk about all that's gone on with the boys throughout the week, before they go off to his house for the weekend. Their father and I both attend events of theirs and we sometimes travel together and share expenses. I've been deemed the responsible parent by the court, so I get them Sunday eve. to Friday eve. and their father has them for the weekend, even though I go to their weekend activites such as soccer games.
So, rather than feel unfulfilled, or overwhelmed, I've chosen to schedule, which works for us. Some people just have to prioritize for their sanity, and that's o.k. I let the boys play games before homework time, because I use that block of time to take care of household business while they're playing. Some people couldn't stand putting off that homework for even an hour!
Some people insist on dinner at 6. 8 works for me, because we do have tea and snack at 4 when we're all at home and at 6, no one's hungry yet! So, feel out your inner compass and clock and decide what's important, and what makes sense, to you. Then you can organize and prioritize according to what you want, rather than pull some list out of a magazine, and beat yourself up because you just can't make that day happen for you! Remember, it's YOUR reality, not your parents', friend's, neighbor's or anyone else's. It has to work for you!
Until next blog!
Love, Angelia
