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One of the first things that babies want to do, is talk! They babble and coo and try to reproduce every sound that they hear!
As we age, we usually try to improve our vocabulary and use bigger and more descriptive words. We may think that using more words makes us appear smarter. We may think that talking about everything that we know about a conversational topic makes us the expert in the room, office, etc.
Well, that's not necessarily the case! I read a study that said some highly intelligent people, the highest of the "genius'", often revert back to "telegraphic speech", which is what toddlers use. They will use as few words as possible to get their meaning accross. They called it "intelespeak" as opposed to "intellispeak" where people use the biggest of words to get their thoughts out. I thought that that was interesting. The author's supposition was that when you got to be THAT intelligent, you realized that all of those words weren't necessary to get your meaning across. It made me think of the proverb about before you speak, examine your speech, ie: is it true, is it necessary and does it improve upon the silence.
Maybe we need to think about our listener, instead of what we want to get out of our head, or off of our chests! By using simpler sentences, you do get your meaning across faster. If you stay on current topics that are being discussed in the here and now, you seem more present in the moment to your listener. By telling someone that you enjoyed talking to them, and asking them when could you get together and do it again, you can make friends.
Conversation is an investment of time. Have you listened and heard today? Was all that you said true, necessary and an improvement on the silence? Did you include your listener, or did you try to dominate the conversation with things that YOU wanted to talk about. Were there commands rather than requests doled out unnecessarily? Did you rattle off tasks or expectations at lightening speed and REALLY expect them to be remembered and carried out? Have you asked permission recently? May I see that? May I join in? Are you a conjunction junky? I would like to do that, BUT... or I thought that he'd do this AND...well you know. Are you a demander! Do you always have to have the how and why of everything that others say? Are you the poet who really knows it, and lets everyone else know it too? Do you question everyone's reasons for every thing that they say? Are you a "like" er? You actually can't "like" do something. Are you a but-inner? That shows disrespect for your listener. Were you so busy thinking about what you were going to say next that you just now realize that the other person just asked you a question, that you can't answer, because you don't know what it was?!
The only reason we should ever DEMAND something from someone else, is if we are protecting ourselves or someone else. You are not OMNIPOTENT, and therefore have no right to demand anything from anyone else. They have the same rights as you do.
Do you finish your thoughts so that others can make sense of them, or are you so shy or insecure that you stop in midsentence like Hooks on Police Academy?
Do you want to be heard? Do you try to increase your vocabulary so that you will know what other people are talking about? Do you try to find out how things work so that you can be "in the know". Are you a cliche' machine so that others look at each other and roll their eyes? Can you talk about your feelings, or other people's feelings? Can you prioritize things in a conversation, or is it all a blurt festival? If you need to write, how's your spelling? As a writer, I still make mistakes, and have to consult the dictionary upon occasion. ;) Can you get your meaning across clearly, or do you have to try several times to say what you want to?
Speaking to others is sometimes hard for some of us. We have to get those most private thoughts from our heart and head, out into the open where they can be heard. Some of us should try to filter a little more and think about the oath, "...do no harm", with what we say.
It's not always how you say something, although that is important, but what you say that matters. If you want to create a positive, loving compassionate reality for yourself, does your speech reflect that? Be careful and mindful of your speech so that you can create the conversations that you want, but be present and listen for the others involved.
Until next blog!
Love, Angelia
amsc363@cs.com
gtown.healinghouse.com
www.worksofheart.bravehost.com
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