| Thursday, 4 February 2010 |
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Do you smoke? If so, did you start in childhood or in your teens? As much as we know about how bad smoking is for us, there is still no notable non-smoking education aimed at our young. It is estimated that 30% of them are smoking.
If you started smoking young, you should know by now that there are many quitting programs. I recommend hypnosis, I have a contact if you need one, and an aid such as the ones on t.v. that help you step down on your nicotine addiction.
Do you want to live your longest, healthiest, best life that you can? Then stop inhaling smoke that is known to cause cancer. Our ancestors didn't know any better, so they had an excuse. We don't.
My son tells me that he knows a girl who's mother buys her cigarettes when she buys her own. This girl is fifteen. I can not respect that mother's choice. To inflict possible cancer on yourself is one thing, to inflict it upon your child is a crime in my book.
As recently as 1984, my high school had designated "smoking areas" where we students were allowed to smoke. My senior year they instituted that only students 16 and older could smoke, without a written note from their parents, which echoed the law passed here that you had to be 16 to buy cigarettes. That thinned out our smoking areas a bit, but there are always friends ready to give you a smoke, so that they don't have to do it alone.
I did smoke a little in middle school, I must admit. I had friends who did, and it was all to easy to take what was offered to fit in.
Honestly, I didn't like it, so I quit doing it. I didn't like the way it made my hair and fingers smell, and it made me cough afterwards. I will tell you something that I have found about it, though. The last time I smoked a cigarette, I was 13 years old. I have been exposed to second hand smoke of course since then. But, even now, nearly thirty years later, when I am feeling really str! esse d out, I crave a smoke! What does THAT tell you about the addiction power of nicotine?! But, I just note that craving, say how crazy that is to still crave a cig. after all these years, and move on to whatever I have to do next.
That's the number one thing that is needed to give up those cancer sticks. Will power is the thing that we need to stop lighting up. So, it's up to you. Do you want to be sucking on those rancid things forever, or would you just like to look back on that time in your life, and say, I can't believe that I wasted so much time, money, and health on something that I knew could kill me?
Until next blog!
Love, Angelia
www.worksofheart.bravehost.com |
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Personal Development
Law of
Attraction
Creating
Reality
Love
Making
a Difference
Spiritual
Journey
posted by The White Dove Partnership @
13:22
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| Monday, 25 January 2010 |
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My son is not doing well in college. This is surprising, since he was in advanced classes in high school. He told me the reason for his bad grades. He was just being lazy. He says that he'll do better next semester, and I hope that he does. If he doesn't pull the grades up next semester, he'll be on academic probation.
His school is known to be a "party-school", and there are alot of students who are very free with their time and money. The more serious students hang out in the activities building, where my son usually hangs out. The really studious ones pretty much stay in their dorms or in the libraries.
My son's chosen field requires extensive biology, which are the classes that he didn't pass. He is a natural counselor and friends are coming to him all of the time for advice. (Gets it from his mom.) I suggested to him that maybe he should change majors into counseling since he has a natural talent for it. You would have thought that I suggested that he cut off his left arm! The defensiveness, the trash-talking, wow! I had JUST made a suggestion, not a criticism or insult, but that's not how he took it. I just want him to be successful, and if his goal is out of his reach, I want him to have a fall-back. All parents who've gone to the college years know this feeling, right?
My son volunteers at our zoo every summer. He's cleaned up at parks and is a generally sweet, good guy.
He does undervalue money. The only job that he's ever had are working concession with me at soccer and baseball. He's 18 and still hasn't had a job. I can't afford to send him to college, nor can his father, so he's gone on grants and vocational rehab. assistance, which he's now lost due to his grades. He admits that he didn't try very hard to get a job the first semester that he was having alot of fun hanging out in the evening. He's told me now with a loan behind him that he didn't earn two ! credits for, that he'll look a little harder for a job.
Most of all, he wants me to mind my own business. That's not going to happen. Sorry, but I'm not like some parents I know who write their kids off at age 18 and then they're "on your own". He doesn't drive, so he asked me to take him to get his state I.D. while he was home, which I did. He asked me to buy him some items and food for when he went back, which I did. So, I don't feel that until he's 100% independant, that I shouldn't be involved, and even then, I will be. I won't be a bossy, critiquing mom like some I've met, but I felt this child in my womb, fed him from my body, been splattered by baby food, had formula thrown up down my back, cleaned diapers that the good Lord only knows how that much stuff, with such a bad smell came out of such a little person. I've been his advocate with teachers who didn't understand his disabilities, and some who just didn't care. I've done everything possible to make sure he got to play t-ball, baseball, soccer, do boy scouts, and yes, don't laugh, I was a den mother! I went to all of his plays, concerts, presentations, possible and got him signed up with Voc. Rehab. so that future professors and employers know about his disabilities, and won't discriminate against him for them. Then there was the above mentioned stuff while he was home on Winter break. So, I feel that mother bear stuff rise up when he's having problems that I don't feel like he's taking seriously enough, or giving too much weight to problems, usually other people's, that are concerning him.
So, I was giving him a lecture when I heard my father's voice coming from my mouth. So, I stopped. I thought all through the store about how he must be feeling, and how I was feeling, and what if anything more I should say to him.
I remembered in my child psychology and development workshop, one of the key points to problem solving was to ask the teen-ager if you could give them your opinion. Funny how that strange little act! of aski ng their permission opens up the dialogue between almost adult child and parent. It's like you've respected them, so they respect you by letting you give them some insight. So, when we got back in the car, that's what I did. He granted me permission to give my opinion, and I told him all that I felt about his situation, giving him my experiences and those of others' for anecdotal evidence.
Now, we all know that we all have to make our own mistakes to learn from them, and he says that he has. I hope that that's true. I really want him to have a good, firm philosophy of life. In high school, he was so self-assured and a leader not a follower and always did what he should, as far as I know. I know that transitions are hard. Hopefully, he has learned all of the lessons that he says he has this first semester, and he has friends and student support services to help him out, so hopefully he won't feel the need to keep any problems to himself now.
I know that at this age, it's important for him to discover the man that he is on his own. I just have to resist the urge to shine a little light on the situations that he's still in the dark on, without his permission. I've always known, if I respect my sons, they respect me. It's that simple. The Golden Rule, rules.
Until next blog!
Love, Angelia www.worksofheart.bravehost.com
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Personal Development
Law of
Attraction
Creating
Reality
Love
Making
a Difference
Spiritual
Journey
posted by The White Dove Partnership @
16:28
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| Tuesday, 12 January 2010 |
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What happened to physical education? I remember having to endure those ugly gym suits and lugging my gym bag to school daily. I remember that it wasn't my favorite subject. I never could climb that rope! I definately wouldn't make it as a monkey! I did, however, love gymnastics! I could walk a balance beam effortlessly, and do a perfect landing from the uneven bars. I did enjoy square dancing, because my little boyfriend that year was my partner. Now, my kids have gym once a week, and it's usually basics, sit up, pull ups, or sports. I for one feel that they are missing out. There is a whole world of athletics out there that they are not exposed too. In 25% of U.S. schools P.E. has been cut due to budgets. The government has realized what this is doing to our waistlines and projects that they will give more money to get that number down to 50% in the next five years. That still leaves 50% of the kids with probably little to no physical activity. Mr. Kennedy would be appalled!
Kids were given a self esteem test at a local middle school and here are the results: 55% of the females wanted to lose weight; 29% of males also wanted to lose weight; 54% of females felt that they looked "fat", and 28% of males did, too; 33% of females were afraid to gain weight, while 13% of males were; 43% of females had dieted, while 20% of males had; 11% of females had fasted, while 6% of males had, (non-religious fasting); 6% of females had actually purged, (vomited), while 4% of males had; 38% of females exercised regularly, while 27% of males did; 4% of females had used diet pills, while 1% of males had; 2% of females had used diuretics, ( I did not even know what that was in middle school!), while .8% of males had; 2% of females had used laxatives, while .7% of males had; 7% of females reported binging, while 26% of males had! Still think that we don't have weight issues?!
This can lead to serious d! evelopme ntal issues! Our adolescents are on average at a weight that is 15 lb.s over their ideal. That number grows as we get older. 24% of us report ourselves as being overweight. I think that that's because some of us are lying, lol! I think that number is alot higher. I'm overweight. I got it the hard way. I kept about 20 lb.s after having each child, I was told that it would fall off after breastfeeding and when they were weaned. It didn't. I did those goofy little exercises they send home with you, but it stayed on. It's funny, my mother gave me her pregnancy book from the 1960's, and IT says that the average woman gains 20 lb.s, and 2 inches in her waist and hips with each child! I think that my figure must be from a 1960's mother! I knew a woman who had a baby, then was back in her size 0 jeans two weeks later! She only gained16 lb.s during her pregnancy. I think some people are just lucky that way! Then I gained 30 more lb.s with my disease, and the advice that I got from my western doctor, which was to sit in my recliner and enjoy the time that I had left with my sons. Now, my eastern doctor that I found, told me that I was not sentenced to an immediate death, but if I sat in my recliner all of the time, I would go all of the faster. She got me to start exercising again 1 min. a day, then up to 30. I lost that extra 30, but never have lost the original 60! My doctor calls it estrogen, and the fact that I can only do low impact exercises due to my bone disease.
If you feel that you or your kids are too heavy, what are you doing about it? Are you eating balanced meals? Don't diet, #1! That will not work, and will set you up for more self esteem flattening. Eat a balance of foods. I'm on a maintenance diet of: Breakfast-1serv. fruit, 1serv. dairy, 1 serv. bread; Lunch-1 serv. meat, 1 serv. veggie, 1serv. bread; Tea Snack-1 serv. dairy, 1 serv. bread; Supper-1 serv. meat, 1 serv. veggie,! 1 serv. dairy, 1 serv. bread; Dessert-1 serv. fruit, 1 serv. dairy, 1 serv. bread. Your doctor may disagree, but mine had picked this one out for my own personal needs, Your doctor would be more than happy to help you make your own meal plan! Are you getting enough exercise? Walking back and forth to the buffet, doesn' count! We should all get at least 30 min.s of exercise three times a week. I do stretching, yoga, tai chi, latin dance (easy), shadow boxing, 0 impact kicking, bow staff practice-no impact, and fencing-no impact. Things I grew up enjoying, but have modified them to my body's abilities. I'm walking around on 4 inoperable slipped disks now, when in 2004, I needed my wheelchair about halfway through Wal-mart. I use my wheelchair when we go to fairs or amusement parks to hold our bags of stuff, and once this summer, I did get tired enough to need it, but I had been at it for 6 hours! So, no matter what, we can make a difference in our battles with our bulges. It just takes consistancy and common sense. NO ONE needs 3 pieces of cheesecake, trust me! It's your reality and your body's health should be a concern. It is your temple after all.
Until next blog!
Love, Angelia www.worksofheart.bravehost.com |
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Personal Development
Law of
Attraction
Creating
Reality
Love
Making
a Difference
Spiritual
Journey
posted by The White Dove Partnership @
10:05
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| Wednesday, 18 November 2009 |
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Sometimes, it feels as if we are going under for the last time. Like we've been circling the drain, so to speak, and this is it. It usually never is, though, is it? Children have such fatalistic outlooks. If something that they really wanted, or wanted to happen, doesn't, then it's like the end of their little worlds. As adults we should be able to cope better. As adults, we should be able to swim in the tides of life, knowing that within us is the power to stay afloat, no matter what happens.
It can help to take the "dare" attitude, and dare yourself to make it through whatever tidal wave life sends at you. Be a survivor in your own life. Life can be rough. We may meet bullies out in life, just like we did in school. Of course, we have to stand up to them and take care of the situation. If there rises an impass, then you may have to let this person go from your life. No one should feel like they are being forced into a relationship with another person, workplace, or situation. There are always limits that we must observe to live in a society, but we shouldn't have to feel like someone else's slave. We just have to remember our self-esteem and remember that we are a capable person, or we wouldn't have gotten this far in life.
Some people turn to drugs or worse to get them through the rough times. This is just a sham. Unless a doctor has prescribed a drug for you, and if they have by all means take it, then self-medicating is only adding to your problems, not helping them go away. Drugs should not be a recreational tool to forget your daily grind. Prescribed drugs and alternative and complementary medicines or treatments have the goal of alleviating health issues, while taking a substance to "get high", is just an escape from reality and in the long run, isn't going to help you at all, but put you further into a cycle of substance abuse that can turn into "the end". Medicine is for health, drugs are for escape.
Sometimes people buy guns. I don't have a problem with guns, just a problem with why people buy them. A hunter buying a gun to put meat on the family table for the winter makes sense. A woman who has been sexually assaulted and lives alone, may want one for protection. That makes sense. A store owner who has been robbed may want one under the counter for protection of his life, and livlihood, that makes sense.
Buying a gun for the purpose of killing another person is just evil. I believe that people who buy guns to kill theirself is evil. I believe that they are being decieved by dark forces to think that their life is hopeless, and that the only way out of the percieved hopeless situation is to kill themselves. Nothing is ever as hopeless as all that. People have left ghettos and made themselves a better life, without killing anyone. People have stayed in ghettos and tried to make the neighborhood a better place, without killing anyone. And no person should be your life, that you must kill that other person if they reject you. If you are suffering, God may have a bigger plan for this than you can see. If you convince yourself that things are hopeless, then they will be.
Faith is our life raft. If we get in and hold on, we can't sink. Giving up is selfish. We are strong children of our Creator and we will never be handed more than we can take. We just have to believe that in order for it to be true. We all have the power to be survivors. We just have to be willing to exercise it. We will get knocked down many times. Do you remember that song by Chumba Wumba? "I Get Knocked Down, But I Get Up Again" (and their never gonna keep me down!) ? I use that as a mantra sometimes when I feel like a situation is kicking me to the curb. Funny, I know, but it works if you believe it.
Living in a civilization means that we must be civil to others, but not kiss their, well you know what I mean. NOTHING is worth being abused for. If we escape with drugs, then we aren't working out our problems. We are adding more problems to our life. Turning to crime, like the father who took his toddler on an armed robbery, is not an answer either, but a temporary illegal fix to a bad situation, and once you take that road, more and more uncivilized behavior becomes acceptable to you, usually. If you think that your problems are bad now, a stint in prison isn't going to help them. I believe that we will have to answer for all of our actions in this life. Some people with real depression may not be able to see a way out of their problems, but most of us know, that bad times are temporary, and usually a learning experience. We just have to have faith, patience and be pro-active in our own lives to make our situation better. It's your reality. Don't add to any bad times in it by making hasty decisions.
Until next blog!
Love, Angelia
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Personal Development
Law of
Attraction
Creating
Reality
Love
Making
a Difference
Spiritual
Journey
posted by The White Dove Partnership @
14:54
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| Wednesday, 28 October 2009 |
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We all get frustrated when things go wrong in our lives. It's how we deal with these instances that are important. Setbacks should be an opportunity to learn something. They sometimes end up just being a chance to throw a fit.
We should look at disappointing circumstances as an opportunity to learn what we could have done better or different, or maybe we learned to not trust a certain person that we did to help us with something. Sometimes we can't control anything in a certain situation and have to learn that we can't control every little thing in the world and have to learn to just say, "Oh, well, I did my best, and I couldn't have done anything better or differently that would have made a difference in the outcome.", and just let it go.
Every now and then, things just don't turn out as we'd like them to. It happens to everyone. We all get disappointed now and then, and it's then that we should examine our expectations. Was it our expectations that led us to believe that something was going to be more grand or fun or fruitful than it actually turned out to be? If so, then we set ourselves up for disappointment. Our feelings of frustration are understandable as well as any of anger or disappointment. We are human and that is going to happen. We need to look at each upset and examine whether we are blowing it out of proportion, or maybe if we are diminishing it's importance only to have it come back to haunt us later. We need to learn to take things as they are, not how we want them to be.
Avoid comparing yourself to others. That's the fastest way to beat up on your self! Everyone has their own unique gifts and talents. We all do not share the same talents. If you compare your weak areas to the strong areas in another person, then you're going to feel inferior. That's how attacks on others start and how we talk ourselves out of developing our own talents, because we'd never be as good as so-and-so.
Some self-help gurus train their followers that life is a competition. That in order to come out on top we have to be ruthless and competitive and shove others out of our way to get what we want. I say, and so have alot of other spiritual leaders, that that is the 100% wrong way to go about life! We are all in this boat together. If we step on everyone on our way up, then we will be lonely at the top. We should look at life as a big cake.
Sure, we could hog it all ourselves, and feel fuller, and waste some of it when it gets stale, but wouldn't it be nicer to invite our fellows in to have a piece and share the goodness of it? I met a woman that I had to work with once, who was so competitive that no one wanted to turn their back on her, because they knew as soon as they did, there would be her knife sticking out of it. Maybe she was trained that it was o.k. to do that to get what she wanted. Alot of people do that. We all know people who know everything, even though we know that they don't.
By monopolizing conversations and trying to tell us things that we already know, or that we know more about than they do, so we know that they are wrong, while they think that they are coming off as superior, we can see through all the hot air and know that their superiority is masking their feelings of inferiority. I pity them because until they get enough help to feel secure in their selves, they feel that they have to attack us to feel good. 1 is a lonely number. In a competition in real life, no one wins because someone's going to get hurt and someone's wrong thinking and skewed views of the world may be reinforced if they do "win".
We should be educated as to who our teachers are. Why they believe what they believe. Was it from decades of study, or did a thing happen to them once, and now they base their whole teaching model on one experience? Hurt people teach hurting others. People who have found love for themselves, teach love for others. We should never follow someone blindly. We should research them and read enough of their "doctrine" to get a feel for where they're coming from. We should be concerned with how they fit into our beliefs. We should never change our core person to fit into someone else's mold. We should be our #1 teacher. We will need help in the beginning to find who we are, and what we want out of life, but when we have that knowledge, we can't be led astray so easily.
By educating ourselves on what our motives and expectations are, we can help avoid future disappointments and setting ourselves up for them. By knowing who we are and what we want, we won't compare ourselves to others and we won't feel the need to use others as stepping stones. By listening to our inner voice and the voice that is our guiding compass in this world, we won't be led astray by people who don't really have our best interests at heart, people who may be trying to recreate in your life what went out of control in theirs. By helping your own personal education, your journey will be smoother for us all. When you create your own reality, it also rubs up against others' realities remember. We are all in this together.
Until next blog!
Love, Angelia
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Personal Development
Law of
Attraction
Creating
Reality
Love
Making
a Difference
Spiritual
Journey
posted by The White Dove Partnership @
11:41
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| Tuesday, 13 October 2009 |
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We all have to experience transitions in our lives. We move to new homes. We move to new schools. We have different things on different days that we have to do. School is a big one for some people. Milestones bring new things that we can do, and therefore new experiences to have. Our lives are full of transitions! Parents may make choices that cause transitions for us. We change roles as we grow, which leads to transitions. Children sometimes will need extra attention and help during a transition time. Successful transitioning can bring us self-confidence. New enviroments require negotiating the transition. No matter how many suggestions that you get on how to deal with a transition, it will ultimately be your voyage to navigate.
School is usually our first big transition. Events in our lives follow along after that like stones in a stream. Children are not secure enough usually to handle trasition well. Separation anxiety is common when they have to go away to school. Parents should be empathetic and let them talk as much as they want to about it. Other people are strange to us, until we get to know them, and can be a source of stress. Nursery school can be a good buffer to get kids ready for "big kid" school. New environments can be scary to us! As children we need our parents' help processing this. Finding support is important to us as adults as well. People with a good support system can handle the transitions in life better. Encouragement from a family member or friend can make all of the difference in whether we succeed or not in a transition.
Learning new skills opens us up to more transitions. In the school of life, we are constantly learning if we are open to it. We are all Earth's children. Our attitude has alot to do with our success at a transition point. We can choose to be open and learn from our experiences, or close ourselves up and be in a rut forever. During the day, most of us have scheduled time in which to do certain tasks. As parents, we know that our kids have a school schedule, too. Their attitudes about school determine their success, too. Learning is an opportunity that some people won't get. There are still pockets of civilization where not everyone has access to an education.
Transitions will happen, whether we want them to, or not. Our homes may change. Our schools may change. We have new things that we have to do. If we are open to these experiences, we can successfully negotiate transitions. Sometimes, we don't want a particular transition, and if it's within your power to stop something that you don't want to happen, to happen, then by all means do your best to guide your life into a different direction! Sometimes we have no choice in transitions in our life, and then we just need to accept things as they are and make the best of things. It's o.k. to feel a little sad, or lost during a transition, we all feel that sometimes.
If we trust in ourselves, and in our Higher Power, that we are being led into our best life, then we will be. We can keep our minds in the present moment and experience all of our thoughts and feelings during a transition and decide if we wish to still remain on this path. Ultimately, transitions are up to you. You can plug in and become a part of the new situation, you can decide that it's unacceptable and take steps to change it, or you can steer your lifeboat in a different direction in your lifestream while still being a part of the new situation in hopes that something better will come along for you. It's your life and it's your decision on what kind of reality you wish to create.
Until next blog! Love, Angelia
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Personal Development
Law of
Attraction
Creating
Reality
Love
Making
a Difference
Spiritual
Journey
posted by The White Dove Partnership @
12:51
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| Wednesday, 30 September 2009 |
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Being involved in things makes us feel confident. We should be careful not to go overboard with that though. I know news junkies that I have jokingly told them maybe news re-hab. would be a good idea!
We should, like the boyscout motto, always prepare. Making preparations for what we are going to do helps us be in control, as much as possible, of the situation and not feel at the mercy of the situation, as if it is in control of us. This is a good skill to practice with your children as well. Issues will always arise, but if we prepare ahead of time by "doing our homework" and working out the best way of doing things for the situation ahead of time, we won't be floored when our "plans" go awry.
With children we can involve them by asking them questions like, "should we take an umbrella in case it rains", or "we'll be there for awhile should we bring something to do and some snacks?". It's ideal if we have weeks to plan, but of course, that's not always possible. Just as we hopefully laid out our clothes for school, and had our homework in it's folder and ready to go for the next day, we should have our bases covered in every day planning and have contingency plans so that we don't get overwhelmed.
Some ambitious people forge ahead and take what comes their way, but they would have an easier time of it if they took the time to plan a little so that they would have an easier row to hoe for themselves and for others involved in the situation. Going with the flow can be counterproductive if the flow takes us where we don't want to go! Lewis and Clark made maps so the journey would be easier for the rest of us! As we age, we can think more logically and can come up with skills to investigate, inquire and make plans. If that route gets blocked we have to be flexible enough to curve around any obstructions in our way and move ahead to the end goal. The best laid plans of mice and men....
We can bring others into our planning stage to find out what works for everyone, rather than trying to take the reins ourself and making decisions that are inconsiderate to our friends involved. We don't always have weeks to plan, so being flexible helps. Planning makes some people jittery. They don't like having such responsibilities, especially if they weren't allowed to make any decisions on their own as they were growing up. We make daily routines to get more out of our day, and planning activities helps them go more smoothly, especially if we're prepared for any bumps in the road. Getting plenty of sleep helps us to be able to use our logical thinking abilities.
We can make decisions easier on a full night's sleep, too. We only have so much time, and we should use it wisely to get the most out of it. We can plan activities and enjoy them if we are prepared, rather than obsess over what isn't going right for us. It will make this easier on your children, too, if you teach them planning skills to use in their future.
If you plan your reality, it's easier to create it!
What do you want to do with your day?
Until next blog!
Love, Angelia
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Personal Development
Law of
Attraction
Creating
Reality
Love
Making
a Difference
Spiritual
Journey
posted by The White Dove Partnership @
10:43
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