Have you ever felt your work life balance is totally out of whack? It is critical to find this balance if you really want to live well. You may feel great about one aspect of your life, but terrible about another. You may be one of the lucky ones who actually have it all, but unfortunately still feel something is missing.

Kids, spouse, career, purpose, relaxation, health--it can feel like you are juggling so many balls. In this situation balls inevitably get dropped. And our culture tends to emphasize success in some areas while ignoring (or even criticizing) others. In our society careers are often our identity. We may be a financially successful culture, but we do not seem to be a really happy culture. Therapists, medications, and rehabs are becoming an accepted part of life.

Work life balance tends to be the most obvious area in need of improvement. The work you do requires a huge chunk of your time and energy. It can feel like it really takes over your whole life. You cannot allow it to keep you from attending to other critical areas of your life. Work really only provides two things:

--Money to fund the life you really want (live well, be with your family, vacation, etc.),

--It can provide a sense of purpose, especially if you are doing something you feel makes an impact.

It is important to keep your work life in its place. Your work is not really your life...unless you're a nun. Many people fall into the trap of working hard and putting off living the good life until they have achieved enough or acquired enough money. The trap is: there is never enough.

You have to start living immediately, as you read this. You will need a great deal of self awareness in order to fully live in the present. This is not easy in our society. You will find yourself eating, drinking, shopping, and working to keep yourself distracted from what is going on inside of you. It can be scary to even think of taking a look in there.

But being aware of your inner needs is critical to developing life balance. You must begin to use your internal compass to tell you when to play barbies with your child, take a nap, or pay attention to your spouse. It is easy for you to stay disconnected--isolation and independence are pillars of our society. Connecting requires a certain amount of vulnerability and openness. But bonding with others is a fundamental key to happiness.

It is important that you also truly connect to yourself. Even if you are alone most of the time, you are probably pretty disconnected to your inner world. When your inner compass is telling you it needs rest, your brain overrides it because you "should" go to the gym. Even if you end up relaxing, you are filled with guilt and cannot really enjoy yourself.

You won't realize how trustworthy your internal director is unless you are able to let go of your 'shoulds'. Until you stop 'shoulding' all over yourself, you will find yourself out of work life balance.