Helpers want to help the world and its mother. They tend to take on everyone’s problems as they believe that they can fix them. Their primary motivation is pride – everyone, they tend to think, needs help.
Their positive qualities are that they are extremely kind and helpful to their fellow beings. They make wonderful supporters and right-hand people as they essentially enjoy being the providers of help. The welfare of the individual is the most important thing.
The giver personality type does not, by and large, tend to make a good leader. They generally do not like goals and are not primarily task orientated. They can allow themselves to become too emotionally involved which can often lead to negative feelings, such as the impression of being used. These negative feelings can sometimes cause a lack of objectivity and they can easily lose sight of their role.
Helpers are usually spared from having to deal with their own neediness and problems as they are far too busy helping others. They can often be poor decision makers as they often miss the big picture – the needs of the individual they are helping at that moment in time are paramount as far as they are concerned.
Are you a helper?
- Do you hate doing certain tasks you have to perform because you just don’t see the point in them?
- Are you happiest when you are helping others achieve their goals or sort out their problems?
- Do you often feel taken for granted as people that you have helped fail to thank you enough?
- Do you find that you often start projects but fail to see them through as you are distracted by other people and their issues?
If you have identified yourself as a helper then try these simple tips to help restore the positive aspects of your personality type:
- Identify your own needs and spend some time on meeting these needs. Make a diary note if necessary, perhaps telling yourself that you cannot help x, y or z until you have done at least one thing on your list to help yourself.
- Start believing that you are not responsible for everyone else and you cannot fix all the problems.
- Get better at identifying when people really need your help and when they are best left alone to sort themselves out.
You can turn your tendency to seek approval from others and your tendency to crave attention into the more positive attributes of compassion and focus on other human beings. This will help you to build long lasting friendships that help meet your underlying motivation to feel needed in a much more positive way.