by Arina Nikitina
Self-control is the ability to make decisions about how and when we express our feelings, and which of our impulses to act on. This is a life-long process, which starts from your childhood and perfects for the rest of your life. In this report I am going to teach you how keep in check all self-destructive and irrational behaviours. By learning self-control you will undoubtedly improve your personal relationships. I’ll teach you a couple of tricks that will help you to keep your over-emotional responses in check and your relationships in a healthy balance of “give” and “take”. You’ll also learn how to cope with stress in your hectic life.
Let’s do a quick visualization that will help you to grasp the concept of self-discipline a lot better.
Imagine that you are reading this article half-lying in a cosy chair. You are totally relaxed, warm and comfortable. You are enjoying it… Suddenly a phone rings. What do you do? Of course you answer it. Do you know why?
Not because you are expecting some life-changing news or because you can’t wait to see who’s calling. You answer the phone due to your previously formed habit and gained experience. The ring of the phone is a signal, an irritant, which you have learned to obey. You do it without thinking or making any special decision. A phone rings – you react. You get up from your comfortable chair, put my article aside, and hurry to answer it.
You see how easy that external irritant has set you in motion. It has changed your previous mindset and course of action. After all you were planning on reading in peace and quiet for some time. You were looking forward to it… Unfortunately, your reaction on exogenous irritant had ruined your beautiful plans.
This is a simple every-day situation, but I want you to pay attention to one little detail that most of us so often forget. You didn’t have to react in any way on the ringing phone. You could have totally ignored it. Instead of getting up you could have been relaxing and letting your body soak into that comfortable chair. All you had to do is to stick to you initial plan.
Now imagine the same situation but a slightly different scenario. You are enjoying yourself, letting you mind and body rest. A phone rings. But instead of getting up, you ignore the phone, staying unemotional. On the back of your mind you are aware of the signal that your phone is making, but you are not paying any attention to it. You refuse to follow your initial reflex. The phone doesn’t have any control over your behaviour and cannot move you an inch.
Don’t get me wrong! I’m not saying that you should never answer the phone again. I’m just using this situation as an example. There is nothing wrong with picking up the phone. But it shows how often we are getting into the habit of reacting in a certain way on the different irritants coming from the outside. We are doing it without even giving it a back glance, without thinking. If you want to control the situation you should change that.