Developing Your Own Personal Magic - Making Miracles Happen

by

Dr Joan

Curses and Miracles

Lesson1: The Curse of Poverty

In September of 2000, shortly after I went on welfare, or “cash aid” as it is called now, 1.2 million others were recipients of aid in California as well. I wasn't alone.

Sitting in the social service office, waiting for my name to be called, I was taking the final step of a series of humiliations, tragedies and setbacks. Without going into my story, from riches to rags, I lost my house, my car, all my furniture and belongings as well as all my clothes.

One day I woke up and there was no money. There was no food, and there was no place to go. I cannot go back to sleep and restore my wealth. My nightmare never ends.

It occurred to me that I had hit bottom when I took my place in line at the Social Services Office. I signed permission slips to open the entire book on my life, to every government agency possible.

Last month my nervous breakdown was broadcast to Children’s Protective Services. The social worker took both children from their classrooms to interview them about their life at home. I held my breath in fear until the worker completed the inspection of my home and announced me fit. Fit for whom? I no longer live a normal existence. We are on the fringe.

I am certain that I got off at the wrong train station. I don't belong here. If I could just figure out how to get back on the train ... But it is going too fast and doesn't stop for me.

I want you to know.

I want to share the experience with you. I want you to know how it feels to be without—in one of the wealthiest counties in the country.

Poverty is Humiliation

Poverty is wondering how you will ever be able to afford toilet paper or paper towels. It’s saying goodbye to simple luxuries such as light bulbs, batteries, butter, shampoo and soap. I have heard of some people who ration toilet paper, allotting so many squares per visit to the bathroom. Sometimes it’s easier to move the light bulb from room to room.

Poverty is feeling rich when you trade with your friends and score six rolls of toilet paper.

Poverty is constantly obsessing how I am going to spend the money I don't have and how I will make do with the money I do have. I never win. There are always far more needs than resources.

Poverty is trying to scavenge up eleven quarters to do a load of laundry and multiplying that eight times.

Poverty drains my vitality. I never have enough good healthy food. I cannot get vitamins, supplements, homeopathic remedies or herbs on Medi-Cal. Wellness and alternative medicine have no home among the poor.

Poverty is trying to laugh when my cousin in New York says cheer up, sit down and have a cup of coffee, when I haven't been able to afford coffee for weeks.