Lesson 8 in the Laws of Success by Napoleon Hill concerns self control. The chapter is very broad in scope and includes controlling emotions, controlling reactions and controlling thinking. The discussion extends to what he calls the Law of Retaliation, but you may know it as the Law of Reciprocity. It is a correct psychological principle that if you do something kind for someone, no matter how small, they will often feel as if they should reciprocate. This is the reason that various charities send out little inexpensive gifts with their appeals.
According to Hill, people often unwittingly and unknowingly, turn away opportunity just by their lack of self control. This assertion reminds me of something I once read on the subject of emotional intelligence; that one aspect of this quality is the ability to rise above your personal feelings and deliver a performance that is aligned with the outcomes you are seeking in any human interaction.
Hill also warns against the folly of:
- Spending beyond your earning capacity
- Coming to conclusions without studying the facts
- Allowing other people to do your thinking
As usual, we get stories provided as illustrations of his main points including a couple from his own experience. On one occasion, he became very angry with another journalist who had apparently been writing unfavourable things about him. In a moment of rage, he put a piece of paper in his typewriter (yes – a thing of the past now) and typed out exactly what he thought about that person, sparing nothing. It was clearly a cathartic experience because he never did anything more with that paper. He did however discover a useful technique.
Now, if I find myself becoming very angry, I sit down at my typewriter and “write it out of my system,” then throw away the manuscript, or file it away as an exhibit for my scrapbook to which I can refer back in the years to come – after the evolutionary processes have carried me still higher in the realm of understanding.
In this chapter, we come across another passage that Hill suggests you might consider making your own personal ethos or creed:
I wish to be of service to my fellow men as I journey through life. To do this I have adopted this creed as a guide to be followed in dealing with my fellow-beings:
To train myself so that never, under any circumstances, will I find fault with any person, no matter how much I may disagree with him or how inferior his work may be, as long as I know he is sincerely trying to do his best.
To respect my country, my profession and myself. To be honest and fair with my fellow men, as I expect them to be honest and fair with me. To be a loyal citizen of my country. To speak of it with praise, and act always as a worthy custodian of its good name. To be a person whose name carries weight wherever it goes.
To base my expectations of reward on a solid foundation of service rendered. To be willing to pay the price of success in honest effort. To look upon my work as an opportunity to be seized with joy and made the most of, and not as a painful drudgery to be reluctantly endured.
To remember that success lies within myself – in my own brain. To expect difficulties and to force my way through them.
To avoid procrastination in all its forms, and never, under any circumstances, put off until
tomorrow any duty that should be performed today.Finally, to take a good grip on the joys of life, so I may be courteous to men, faithful to friends, true to God – a fragrance in the path I tread.
Again, the above is an interesting statement of intent and is full of correct principles. To focus on rendering service is a key to success, I am personally convinced. You need to discover how you can render service in some way that permits you to be rewarded for your own effort. After that, success truly is in your own hands.
Bearing in mind the subject matter, I was particularly struck by the following paragraph:
Self-control is solely a matter of thought-control! Please read the foregoing sentence aloud; read it thoughtfully and meditate over it before reading further, because it is, without doubt, the most important single sentence of this entire course.
It contains the most important sentence, says Hill, in the entire course. He goes on to explain what he means by this:
Deliberately place in your own mind the sort of thoughts that you desire there, and keep out of your mind those thoughts which others place there through suggestion, and you will become a person of self control.
So, self control extends, according to Hill, to the type of thoughts you permit into your own mind. If other people say negative things about you, that is one thing; allowing them to dominate your thoughts is quite another. Don’t allow such suggestions to occupy your valuable thinking time.
Similarly, never – under any circumstances – say anything negative about yourself. Essentially when you say something like, ‘I am silly’ or ‘I am stupid’ remember that you are using an affirmation and hopefully, you will know where that leads. Instead, of course, say positive things about yourself. See our free affirmations course for more on this.
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