A study conducted at UCLA concluded that, in face to face situations, 55% of our overall message is transmitted via body language, 38% in our tone of voice and only 7% in the actual words we choose. This is quite an amazing revelation and certainly, those figures underscore the necessity for anyone engaged in dealing with people to develop at least some understanding of body language and how to use it.
In the nineteen-sixties, I remember Desmond Morris publishing his book on this subject, The Naked Ape, and it is still a great read, even today. I read the book when I was in my twenties and I also saw him interviewed on the UK chat show, Parkinson, at the time. I remember that the book had a section on how to get off if ever you were pulled over by the police. In my over forty years of driving, I would guess that I have been pulled over on, perhaps, about six occasions. But I have never been booked, and I put that fact down to simply following some of the advice in this book. There is no question about it, body language is powerful stuff.
Before we look at some of the most important signals, let me make the point that you are already an expert in body language. We all can, and do, read body language, but we read it subconsciously. The purpose of learning about this subject is to bring such things to our conscious mind. Once we can understand what these signals are and how to project them, it is astonishing how effective they can be for developing rapport; an important part of the process of human communication.
To illustrate just how powerful body language can be, I often tell the story of Tracey Andrews in my workshops. She stabbed, and killed, her boyfriend claiming that he had been the victim of a ‘road rage’ attack. The police got her to make an appeal for the ‘killer’ to come forward and give himself up. Pretty-much everyone I know who saw that appeal said that she had done it; and, of course, they were absolutely right. The question is: how did they know? And, my answer would be that, by reading her body language, they were able to see right through her charade.
Here are some of the most important signals to be aware of:
• Change in Posture
• Invasion of Space
• Involuntary Touching of Face
• Dilation of Pupils
• Eye-Contact
• Smiling
• Nodding the Head
Changes in posture can signal interest (closed posture to open posture) or disinterest (open posture to closed posture). Watch out for posture changes during normal conversation.
The involuntary touching of the face, especially around the nose, can signal that the individual is being a little economical with the truth. It’s quite amazing when you come to think about it.
Eye contact is extremely important for projecting the impression of openness, honesty and integrity, but don’t look into someone’s eyes for took long or you could be sending the wrong signals. Too much eye contact usually means sexual interest or aggression.
Smiling is one of the most powerful signals you can learn. Always try to smile at people on first meetings and it will improve the chances of you getting along together.
Nodding the head is something you do when the other person is speaking. It is full of good associations: I agree with you, I like you, I’m listening etc.
If you would like to know more, we have a free book on the subject of Body Language that you can download here.
Hi Will,
I’m not sure you have it quite right as those figures leave out 5%.
The often misquoted figures from Albert H Mehrabian was 7% words, 38% tonality and 55% non verbal.
I say misquoted because on his own website there is a disclaimer that his figures were taken from two seperate studies and cobbled together, they have since become the quoted norm.
There are a couple of free ebooks on my site also.
Best regards,
Robert
Hi Robert – thanks for pointing out the typo.
Will